Friday, 31 December 2010

The Tailor

This is my Maternal Grandfather. I don't have many pictures of him (sadly) and he left this  mortal coil about twenty years ago. I loved him. A lot.

He was a master tailor - and re-knowned here in Sheffield (scroll down the page to see some lovely comments)for the best suits. When I was a little girl we would go down to his shop to see him and there he'd be - fag in hand (always) tape measure around his neck and a piece of tailor's chalk in his pocket. He was a lovely man. He was a bit of a rogue - and left my grandmother for somebody else (which was practically unheard of in those days) but together they had four lovely children, My Mum and her twin sister, My Uncle Anthony and my Uncle Nick.

He had a big car and I remember breaking the electric windows by pushing a three-penny bit down the glass whilst sitting eating crisps and drinking pop outside the Three Merry Lads pub on a sunday afternoon. He used to take us to Endcliffe Park to go stickelback fishing.

He would buy us the best Christmas gifts - always expensive and wonderful - and when I was about five he took me to Manchester on the train (what an exciting day out) - to a toy shop - and let me choose a toy! I chose a Spirograph (remember those?) and to this day remember going for lunch with him in a posh hotel.

He made our overcoats when we were small - my brothers had a camel wool overcoat each and I had a matching cape. We looked simply divine!

Last night I was out with Jayne and we were chatting to one of Sheffield's most successful businessmen. For some reason the subject of my Grandad came up - and he was delighted to find out that I was his grand-daughter.... (he said I look like him!) He told me that the best suits he ever owned were made by my Grandad...and funnily enough - nearly every male I have ever spoken to (over the age of about 45) remembers with fondness their 'Billy Mackley' suit.

I loved my Grandad with all my heart when I was a little girl  and I'm sad that he's no longer here. When he passed I was honoured to be by his side - and later on we all sat in the waiting room of the place he died and drank whiskey to his memory. He liked a drop of Whiskey you see.

It's nice to know that he is still remembered so fondly by so many gentleman in this city for whom he sewed a suit.

God Bless Grandad. Sleep tight X

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

It's not so difficult - now is it?

Today I purchased (with my Christmas cash) a slow cooker. Nothing special about that I hear you say...well if you bear in mind that I used to have one about ten years ago and haven't used one since - you'll realise that it's a monumental day.

When I lived with Voldemort (shudder) he was into cooking in a big way. He'd spend hours slaving over a hot stove, making a god-awful mess and 'pretending' that it was all rather difficult. He'd use every utensil and every pan...and the result was ...well....okay...but I have to say - nothing really special....If I cooked anything he would stand over me to 'make sure I was doing it right' (pillock).

Anyway - I downloaded this recipe - went and bought the stuff - bish bash bosh - and it was bloody lovely. Not difficult at all. Really...and if you remember that I created a delish Xmas lunch for eight people last week for the first time in about 25 years....well - I really can't see what all the fuss is about.

Jam-making (again)

This morning we went to Meadowhell. It was full of people, and then some. But we had to go so that I could go to 'Lakeland'. I know it's sad - but I wanted to spend my Christmas money on stuff to make jam.

I made jam last year in another life - and really enjoyed it...God only knows why it appeals so much - but I think it's because you can give it away. I know that might not make much sense - but I know what I mean.

Anyway I know have 4 dozen jam jars, labels and lids, a jam thermometer and a jam funnel. I also got a weighing scale (for the kitchen) a ladle, and a slow cooker.

Right now my cider, apple and chicken casserole is slow-cooking away nicely....and tomorrow - tomorrow I shall be boiling jam.

Perhaps I should get out more.

Sunday, 26 December 2010

We had a lovely day:)

It was so nice to spend Christmas day with people who love you. Family, friends and lovely food, great booze and much merriment.

I had a lovely, lovely day....


Friday, 24 December 2010

Felicitations of the Season


Hello ! Just got back from Tesco...was in there running round with the trolley at 7am (Madness). It wasn't too bad apart from the fact that they had run out of goose fat...can you imagine? Whoever is in charge of ordering needs a stern word. I bumped into a lady who had full make-up on and hair done and everything. I had my pyjamas on under my coat and woolly hat to disguise the horrific bed-hair. I managed the whole thing in 40 minutes and was back home by ten to eight - after an altercation with a bin lorry (why do they think that they own the entire road?).


Dan is still asleep - and I need to get on with things - I have vegetables to peel and everything. I admit to being a bit nervous about cooking the turkey - but it will either work out or it won't! I am not doing sprouts because I don't want the whole house to smell like a giant fart. And, what's more I can't think of anybody who actually likes sprouts... I certainly don't.


Just wanted to wish you all a very Happy Christmas with your families / friends and I hope that Santa brings you everything your heart desires.


Merry Christmas XX

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

To my friends....

I know I'm always going on about this - but I just wanted to say it one more time before the end of the year. I'm talking about luck. My luck. I am one of the luckiest people alive. This year has shown me what truly lovely people are all about. I am so very very lucky because amongst my sphere of influence I have some of the nicest people alive.

Dan is home at the moment and I just simply adore her. She makes me laugh so much - today - we've been to Fiona's to help with the present wrapping and make our food shopping lists. We watched 'It's a wonderful life' and just never stopped laughing, at each other, with each other and at the world and the situation in general. Fiona has been my absolute rock this year - together with Liz, and Su. I must almost mention Mrs Morris who has dried more tears than should be legal and listened to me droning on and on every Friday night since the early spring....the eyes are now dry and the droning has been replaced by laughter - and I hope that our Friday nights continue until we're too old to go out without assistance. This week also I have been the grateful recipient of a massive act of kindness. I am so very, very grateful to you...you know who you are.

Also on my 'Thanks to You' list is Jopa, Bill, Ches, Nicola , Katie, Christian, Victoria, Helen and Andrew, Helen and Ernie, Kim, Moya and Lisa and Lisa, and many, many more.

Every single day I am surrounded by love, warmth and kindness from all of these lovely folk. All of them have been there for me when I have needed them. Without question. I am amazed by the love.

My dearest friends...I want to thankyou from the bottom of my heart for being there for me this year and I want to wish you all a very very happy Christmas.

List Day


Well - today is list day. Let me explain. I am responsible for cooking a Christmas lunch for eight people this year. I have no bloody clue how that came about apart from the fact that I had a moment of weakness, felt sorry for my dear old Mother and decided to take the reins. I have an aged Aunt and Uncle who would have had to stay by themselves - so invited them too. Add to that mix my dear friend Su who is coming up from Birmingham - and that means a grand total of eight. Problem? Well, apart from the fact that I have a dining room table that seats four - six at a squeeze - and not enough crockery or cutlery - and you can begin to imagine what I'm facing. Couple that with the fact that my bathroom pipes are frozen and my wash hand basin hasn't emptied since Saturday...and the fact that I haven't cooked a turkey for over 25 years...and you can see why I might need to make a list....and that's just the start of it.
So - later today I'm off to Fiona's - we're going to sit down with pen and paper and create a shopping list - I don't have to buy the turkey or the pork - somebody else is bringing trifle and Christmas pudding - so all I have to buy is vegetables, milk and bread, oh yes - cranberry sauce, butter, bread, cheese, fruit, cream (double and single), custard...and so on...
Much concentration required - so we're making the list while drinking wine and watching 'It's a Wonderful Life'....

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Tears in lay-by


Well - the title kind of says it all doesn't it? Let me explain. Today I was due to meet La Famiglia for Sunday lunch. Dear Uncle Nick and his lovely wife were coming down from the North East to see us all - and so it was planned. The venue - a wee public house in Bradwell. How far is Bradwell?...well you pop along Woodseats, along Abbey Lane - through the lights..up to Bents Green - turn left at High Storrs...next left down Hangingwater...up to Crosspool - round the back - down Hagg Hill..along Rivelin - and out the other side to Bradwell. Fifteen - twenty minutes max.

Lunchtime meet - scheduled for 1.30pm. I left the house at 1pm - set my sat nav with the postcode and went off down Chesterfield Road towards town....down by the Railway Station and out along the Whicker.

(If you don't live in Sheffield you will have no idea what I am talking about...but suffice to say It's like setting off north on the M6 if you're trying to get to London).

I went past the Northern General and was almost in Ecclesfield before I realised that I was going in completely the wrong direction.

I phoned my brother - no answer. I phoned our Nick..no answer...Then I turned around and had to come all the way back to Hillsborough Corner..and then I realised that my brain wasn't working and I was hopelessly lost.

It's ridiculous because I do know the way - I knew where I was and I knew where I had to get to - but my brain just completely emptied of all factual information relating to destinations...I parked in a lay-by and waited and thought. For about ten minutes. Then my brother called me back and we decided I was in Stannington. Talk about a blonde moment:)

He came to get me in his car - and in the meantime - while I was waiting I sobbed my socks off. I won't tell a fib - this year has been absolutely my annus horribilis...I've had a crap year full of sadness, stress and worry - and it was as if the fact that I couldn't get around my home town and reach my destination - was the very last straw. I sat and cried, and cried, and cried some more.

Eventually he found me - we went to the restaurant and had a top afternoon with all my lovely family - but just as I sat in that lay-by for ten minutes - all alone and hopelessly lost - I honestly thought I was finally losing my mind.

How weird is that?...because everybody who knows me - knows that I actually lost it a long time ago!

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Another good read

I am reading a lot of late. Probably because the dire weather prevents many adventures outside the confines of my four walls. Only necessary journeys. No popping out to do mindless things of no importance. Staying home and doing mindless things of no importance is the order of the day (or the week).

I have just read this book. I didn't even know I had it in the house. While scouring my book shelves for something entertaining - ie not some crappy self-help book about the pangs and yearnings (and how to deal with them) of middle aged ladies...but something light...and laughy...and witty...without too much thinking to occupy my time and mind...I stumbled across this. I must have bought it some time ago because I really didn't recognise it.

Anyway I read it - and am truly delighted that I did. Apparently it's been turned into a film. Not that I'll be watching it - not a fan of books made into films...they just never seem to get it quite right.

Anyway - the book is lovely. Truly lovely. Marks? 9 out of 10.

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Weather Report

We are gripped in the midst of the worse winter weather for over 100 years. Over the last 48 hours Sheffield has been blessed with over 12 inches of snow. Fortunately for me my lovely big tonka truck can get most places in the snow - so I have been doing my bit for care in the community!

Tuesday saw me driving all around Sheffield rounding up the aged relatives who were going to Las Vegas and needed to get to London. They were going to drive down - but we booked them on the train - then the problem was getting to the station...mission accomplished - eventually - and off they went.

Yesterday was spent collecting a few friends and taking them to Tesco. Christian lives on a hill in a place where a gritter would never venture - and they had about a foot of snow. He did advise not even trying to drive down his road - but I did - and it was a success. Off we went to Tesco and stocked up on groceries....I nearly killed a few pedestrians - but then discovered the car horn and quite enjoyed blasting it at people on an ongoing basis. Mind you - you should have seen the looks I got!

I was at the point where 'showing off' was the order of the day - that was - until I got well and truly stuck in Fiona's next door neighbour's drive while attempting a three point turn. Two shovels, twenty minutes and two knackered daft old bats later - and finally I was free.

Came home - cooked tea - lit a coal fire and watched the weather on the news!

This morning I'm off to Dronfield to collect Helen who hasn't opened her shop for two days.....

More snow forecast for today and tonight........

However - I do love the snow - I love the disruption - I love the way thet people just get on with it and do whatever they need to do to carry on....and let's face it - without the British Weather...what on earth would we talk about??

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Great Book


I've always been a bit of an avid reader. Usually got my nose buried in some book or other. I have a list of favourite authors and amongst them is John Grisham. He writes legal thrillers...and bearing in mind my interest in all things legal (from both sides of the dock...so to speak!) it's no surprise that when I spotted his latest book in Sainsberg's yesterday - I had to purchase said tome.
I've just finished it - and I have to say - it's probably his best book yet. It's the story of a wrongfully convicted man on Death Row with just days to go before his execution. Then....the actual murderer pops up wanting to confess. The ensuing story involves tension, drama, politics, corruption and the age-old battle of good v bad - and how that is ignored by the legal system. It's a cracking read - and I would heartily recommend it. Buy it - and let me know what you think. I would give it a very healthy nine out of ten :)

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Snow!



Well - look at all that white stuff. Can you see the sinister Polar Bear from the Bird's Eye advert lurking just around the corner?

I was out with the girls last night and when we came out of the bijou little place where we'd had supper - everything was covered in the white stuff. Fortunately I have big 4 wheel drive truck - so for me - snow is no problem.....not so good for the taxi driver who had wrapped his cab around a lamp post just down the road!

Of course it will make the news that the entire North of England has ground to a halt...schools closed...people panic buying in Supermarkets etc etc. But you have to admit - it does look lovely.

Must dash - off to the supermarket now to panic buy.....

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Yoo Hoo

Hello world. Hope you're all doing okay. Things are a bit quiet on every front here at the moment and that would explain my lack of posts. Many apologies to those of you who check in from time to time to catch up. The weather has turned and now it's brrrrr chilly every day. Millie doesn't like it and I have to practically drag her out of the door for her daily constitutional. I don't think much of it either and it makes me think that maybe my next home should be somewhere warmer.

There's still not a lot happening on the work front - despite having a few irons in a few fires - things don't seem to be happening - so a distinct lack of funding - but I still have my health and my friends and my lovely family....so I am luckier than most. I certainly haven't been as stupid this week as Jason Mumford or Lord whatshisname - both of whom have had to resign. Loose lips sink ships - or as in Jason's case - daft fingers sending texts can cost you your living :) and probably your wife too. Men? I'll never quite get what makes some of them do such stoopid things. Thank goodness they're not all like that.

This year I have been totally entranced by the latest offernings of ITV's 'I'm a celebrity'. It's been completely hilarious at times.

Check back later and you may find I have something a bit more interesting to say..........adieu mes amis....

Sunday, 14 November 2010

The latest....

Well..hello there. What's happening with you? Busy?....that's good. What have I been doing?...All sorts really. No dates this week - which is a bit pants - always like a free meal :) Last night I went to Fi's to help her celebrate youngest daughter's 15th birthday. When youngest daughter made her way into the world 15 years ago poor old daddy didn't get there in time so it was up to me to hold Fi's hand and mop her brow. I was the very first person to set eyes upon youngest daughter - all red and screaming she was. I can't quite believe how time has passed and here we are 15 years later and she's all grown up. Off she went in her lovely party dress and high heels out for a meal with her girlfriends. (All of them looking totally lovely).

The recession has hit Tracy towers with a vengeance - and we are having to make some very drastic cut-backs - but we have an idea so all is not lost ! Whatever happens - it can't be any worse than anything I've been through before - so holds no fear - it's just another adventure.

Talking of adventures - we had a very enjoyable encounter with a nice lady and gentleman from the Government the other evening - both of whom were lovely and gracious and kind - and apologetic about the reason why they had the need to contact me. After a few hours and a trip 'down town' all was resolved...especially once they realised that the situation had been manufactured and exaggerated by someone with a particularly blunt axe to grind.

It's Christmas soon and sadly - there's nothing in the pantry to share - but there's lots of love and laughter to be had - so bring it on. It should be a bit like Christmas at the Cratchett's house.

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Thankyou for my friends

It's all going on here. I've been right busy. And I mean right busy :) Tonight I've been (early doors) to see my friend Helen's shop and her new Christmas stock. We had a cheeky glass of vino and bumped into lots of friends old and new. Went there with the divine Fiona - but saw Helen, the lovely Dot, Jacqui, Melissa, Michelle and Vicky. Lovely ladies one and all. I adore my girlfriends. I've known them all for ever - and they're just brill.

I've also had a nice chat today with Jopapapapa and Su. Again - lovely true ladies with hearts of gold.

On Friday I will be out for a few glasses with Jayne - who is also a real shiny star in my universe. Our Friday nights out are cast in stone and I ALWAYS have a lovely time with her.

Last night I had a bit of a shocker - when somebody did a really really bad thing to me - and it was nasty :( - but as always - my lovely friends and my dearest Dan were there for me - right where and when I needed them.

Ladies - I love you - one and all XXXX

PS - Christian - I love you too (because I just know I'm going to get a comment) !

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Letting go

Yesterday I learned something. I learned to let go. What of? Control I think. Somebody that I love did something that I really didn't like. All I could see was the problems that this action would cause in the future. In my mind that was the only valid argument.

Of course there is another viewpoint. There has to be. Yin and Yang and all that. Being a strong-willed person I struggle with seeing (at first) the other person's point of view. It takes me a while and the understanding usually follows some kind of outburst. I am not proud of that.

The fears that I carry within me manifest themselves with a behaviour pattern which epitomises the need to control. Myself, the situation and (how awful is this?) everybody around me. I tried that yesterday - but it was too late. The thing that I objected to had already been done - and cannot be un-done.

The other party had their own viewpoint - which differs vastly to mine. In every way. In the end I had to just let go of the situation and allow it to pass. Boy - that was hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But I did it. I don't like what has happened. I probably never will. But - that's my problem. Nobody else's.

I hope it's going to be okay.

Love Love x

Friday, 5 November 2010

The Red House

A few weeks ago I put a little picture of my bijou wee cottage on here when all the leaves were green...and at the time I promised to update the image when it turned red. So here it is. Look also at the beautiful blue sky above. I adore my little house and have never been happier than when I'm living here. I have my wee dog, my log fire, my very own double bed in which I can stretch and fidget to my heart's content - and my lovely dining room in which I occasionally entertain my lovely friends. 

The house has now actually gone bald - so I'll put a picture of that on here in a few days time. Goodnight X

Thursday, 4 November 2010

New Hair Cut!

Well - I don't quite look like Sharon Stone - but the thought was there. I still have to get the dark roots done - but seeing as we're on a tight budget - we have bought a DIY blonde-ing kit and Fifi has agreed to do the honours on Saturday night (fingers crossed that my over-bleached hair doesn't break off and I end up with a number 2!)...she's doing it while we watch the 'X Factor' - so I hope she concentrates. (I'll hide the wine until it's done).

I also purchased some false eyelashes today - just for fun!!!

Diva Alert!

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Where have you been?

Well I've been a bit busy - doing this and that - you know how it is. Chilling with friends...making ends meet (not very well for most of the time) resting...reading...watching movies...and generally just relaxing a bit. All a bit idle and self indulgent I feel - but hey-ho...not to worry:)




Tomorrow I'm off to get my hair cut a la Shazza (see picture) after three years of the same style we fancied a bit of a change, and so the picture over there to the left is the look we're going for. I have to be careful with hairstyles because my hair is very fine - so luscious long thick locks are out of the question ... sadly.


Also sadly - I don't have Shazza'z lovely face either - mine has a few more wrinkles - which is a bit of a bugger seeing as she's actually older then me....but then again if I had her cash I might be able to have a few nips and tucks and keep looking as if I were still in my thirties instead of heading like a speeding bullet towards my fifties.


I just want to look a bit more funky......check back tomorrow and I may post a pic of the new style :)
POSTCRIPT - Have just checked and Shazza is a full five years older than me - she's 52!!! Christ - she looks good...... (I'm just popping upstairs for a weep)

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Faint heart never won fair lady...

...but maybe a Mercedes might help.

Let me explain. Yesterday La Trix and I went to funeral. Very sad it was too. The man who passed away was a big personality in our area and therefore there were lots of mourners. Among the crowds I spotted Edward. The last time I saw Edward was way back in the early 1990's when I lived in a little cottage (not the same little cottage that I live in now - she's got a thing about cottages). He lived next door with his Mum and dad and his siblings. They were (still are) a lovely family. At the time I had a very nice flashy silver Mercedes benz (oh Lord..won't you buy me..) two seater sports car. I loved that car. It was so 'me'.

Anyway - one day young Edward rang my doorbell to ask a favour. He'd met a girl that he really liked and he wanted to impress her. Could he borrow my car to take her out? Of course I said yes. Why wouldn't I? So he did. And it worked. 

Yesterday he introduced my to his lovely wife - they've been married a good number of years. Who is she? The girl that he took out in my Mercedes. So it worked then.

How lovely X

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Lovely day

Well - I have had a lovely day. A nice afternoon coffee date with a man who is a few years younger than me. (oh yes - she's still got it)..and then an evening watching X factor with excellent company and super food. many, many laughs.

Tomorrow I've got a lunch date and then an early evening of admin - before a nice night in front of the tv with the log fire and some red vino.

Autumn weekends. Can't beat them :)

Thursday, 14 October 2010

...and that's a whole other story

Have just got back from meeting 'Dear Gentleman Caller". What happened was so side splittingly funny and completely and gobsmackingly bizarre...that I had an idea. I'm not going to write about my dating disasters on here any longer. Firstly because when I've had a drink I often tell my dates about my blog...they go home and read it ...and I probably never hear from them again. That may be something to do with the fact that I sometimes write the truth about what I REALLY thought about them...completely forgetting that I've told them where to go to read about it....(DOH). 

Also - some people who read this blog wouldn't really want to read about my dating life (sad and forlorn though it is) - and I would really like to write about it in more detail.

So I am going to write another blog. Just about that. It will probably be funny. (I hope so).

If you want to keep up to speed with what's happening (or not) in dating land - drop me an e mail...txt...or leave a messsage on here and I will be happy to give you the new URl (but not if you're my Mum).

That's all x

Dear Gentleman Caller

Hello.

Thanks for texting me last night. It was lovely to hear from you - mind you by the time I was reading text number 17 which was all about your recent golf handicap changes - I admit to being a wee bit heavy-lidded. It was lovely to learn all about your selection of racing cars and the fact that you're personal friends with the rich guy who has a helicopter and who designed and built Meadowhall. I love guys who constantly name drop. No, really I do:)

I do feel for you with your recent struggles with your weight - but you've done ever so well to get down from 22 stone to 20 stone in the last three years. Well done you! Mind you - having your leg amputated probably helped. I mean to ask you - How did the gangrene get you?

Your witty stories probably lost some of their magic when recounted by text - but I am so looking forward to meeting you later today so that you can tell me them all in person. Can't wait.

When I see you I feel sure that I will know you - I think you'll be the rather chubby guy - leaning (obviously) on the bar - talking to the glazed-eyed bar tender about all your numerous achievements and friends in high places. Just so that you'll know me - I will be the small blonde woman with the intravenous gin drip - reading 'The Penguin Guide to Lesbianism for Beginners'.

Can't wait until later - I am so excited.

Kissy Kissy - Love Tracy x

Note to regular readers - of course there will be an update later this evening - please check back for the latest installment :) 

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

I just haven't met you yet

Last night I was on the dog and bone for 97 minutes talking to somebody. It's somebody I've never met - a friend of a friend. We like each other (although we've never seen each other). He is interesting and thoughtful and quite deep thinking - and funny. We talked about all kinds of things from our mutual desire to buy a narrow boat to the problems inherent in the NHS. I love it when new people come into my life - usually by accident or by three degrees of separation. I love it when I find people with whom I can indulge my love of chatting . I love talking about all manner of things. I love getting to know somebody - how they work - what they think and feel ...what their desires and drives are - all their aspects and angles. It takes time (I'm usually in a hurry) and it's lovely just to spend that time and really learn. 

On Saturday I am meeting more new people - people that I have interacted with on FB - and who make me laugh out loud. I am so looking forward to meeting them. Learning from them and discovering all about them.

We are social creatures. People are interesting and fascinating and all have their own story to tell. This year I have studied and learned about loads of things...but most importantly I've learned loads about 'folk'...who they are and why they do the things that they do. I have gained compassion and understanding (I hope) and found so much love surrounding me from people who are my friends. I love adding to my list of friends. You never know who is around the next corner.

As Michael Bouble says... "I just haven't met you yet"

Thank God

This morning five of the trapped Chilean Miners have been rescued from their hell hole underground. They have been trapped for 69 days. Can you imagine how that must have been? I don't want to even try. They look remarkably well. It's a bit of a miracle and a testament to their courage and the courage and wit of the rescuers.

Thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Oh - I'm sorry...X Factor

Here I am on a Saturday night watching one of my favourite programmes. After last week's debacle when silly Cheryl (who has gone right down in my estimation) put through the daft lass with the crap voice and the ridiculous eyebrows (?) who kept forgetting her words instead of the fabulous naturally brilliant Gamu (who since is being threatened with deportation - "Oh well ...she couldn't have gone on the show anyway"...let's all get Chezza off the hook before the loving public turn on her......) and her performance ended up being worse than a very bad working man's club karoake version of God Knows What....

Then we have the absolutely ridiculous Diva Fever - who undressed on stage to reveal an outfit that you would get thrown out of the gym for wearing. It was woeful. Seriously.

Paije started out quite well until he got to the ..'whoa whoa whoa ' bit of his song and then he went a bit astray.

So - so far - we've had nobody who is sparkling. Apart from Tesco Mary...who was fabulous - truly Diva. I know it's only the first week and they're all nervous - that I understand - but so far they've been pretty shite. And how annoying are the audience with all that braying and hollering.......

This may well be the last time that I watch this show - so what the hell else am I going to do on every Saturday night between now and Christmas..... ??

Friday, 8 October 2010

Diving pictures from Malta :)





Back now :)


Hello. I'm back. Sorry for the break in transmission - but it was worth it (to me anyway). As you know - have been to Malta with Liz for a week. Had a ball. Met some lovely lovely people. This young lady is a real gem - so much so that now Liz and I are her adoptive Aunties. If you're looking for a touch of handsome young gallic charm - then look no further than this young man. Despite being almost half my age - well - let's just say that when he kissed my hand and looked deep into my eyes while we discussed philosophy....I seriously considered doing a Shirley V and running off to France for ever. Yes - ladies - he's single - and I have his phone number - which I am prepared to release for a hefty sum :)

Whilst in Malta and diving with Jools - I took my Nitrox qualification and am now officially able to dive with super-funky air that can have as much as 40% oxygen!!! Talk about high as a kite.  I only need two more small qualifications and then I will be a 'Master Scuba Diver' which is the highest recreational Scuba standard that exists.

I dived wrecks, and reefs and had loads and loads of fun. - Oh yes - I got a bit of a tan too. 

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Am I my Mother?

Today I popped to Fifi's for lunch. I'm not going to see her for a while (a whole week) and I will miss her (a lot). I thought she may be walking a bit like the hobbit today after 'Yogalates hell' last night  and her recent operation - but NO - she was doing better than me.  :(

Anyway we were chatting about my impending journey by British Rail down to Billericay tomorrow...when lo and behold...without prior warning... I went into "Turning into my Mother" mode. I actually thought about - and then verbalised - the idea of making some sandwiches, wrapping them in silver foil, and making a flask of tea - to take on the train for a snack - because those British Rail sandwiches are not very nice (are they dear?) and so expensive.

I mean - I actually thought it - and then spoke it out loud. It really did seem like a great idea.

I am now suicidal. Fuckity Fuck Fuck.

Britain from the Air

I have just been watching the lovely (Sheffield lad) Michael Palin - who is the President of the Royal Geographical Society talking about a new exhibition called Britain from the Air. It's a series of many photographs of parts of our glorious land taken from the air. Go and have a look at a pre-view here.

It's very lovely...indeed :)

Mermaid

Today I am packing. For our brief sojourn to Malta. I am very excited. However - because we're going diving and obviously there's a weight restriction on luggage - I'm not taking any glamour stuff. There's room only for basic clothing essentials - and when I say basic - I mean it. A couple of pairs of shorts - 3 or 4 t shirts - and one pair of shoes. I kid you not. No room for make-up, hairdryer, hair straighteners. By next Thursday I will look like a tramp (of the highest quality). People on the train back to Sheffield will be avoiding me and perhaps giving me a few pounds for a sandwich and some hot soup. I don't care though because I'm going diving. Which I absolutely love.

I love being under the sea where we're not supposed to go. I love swimming with the fish and exploring reefs and sea bed formations. I love floating around feeling almost weightless. I love the silence. I love looking at everything and seeing things from a totally different perspective. I really really REALLY love it. I wish I could do much more of it. 

I am eternally grateful to the person who had the idea last year that I would like it and booked me onto my first course.

I am taking my camera - and its underwater housing - so hopefully there will be lots of photographs to share when I return. 

Splish splash X

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Yogalates

"...and what is that?" I hear you enquire. The clue is in the name...it's a cross between Yoga and Pilates and sounded a wee bit more gentle than a step class of aerobics (I don't really want to push the 47 year old envelope).

So off we trot. Myself, Helen and Fiona (recently had hip replaced - requiring gentle exercise).

There...was...no...gentle...exercise.

It was hard - damn hard - I couldn't stretch to touch my toes - couldn't lift my legs off the floor and drew a complete blank when it came to crossing my legs in yoga-buddha like position. I mean - I always though I was quite supple - but seeing as I haven't done any real bodily exercise for about 9 months - it shouldn't really be a surprise to realise that the woman on the next mat - aged about 94 and weighing 16 stone - would find it easier than me.

The teacher - all blonde, under 30,  firm and cheerily enthusiastic with a delightful sing-song voice (I wanted to punch her frickin' lights out) was kind and sweet - but couldn't really keep the 'I can't believe that you have let yourself go that much love' look off her face - and tried to be helpful and sympathetic to my obvious difficulties. 

Will I be going again? Probably not - but am more than happy to wait in the bar scoffing crisps and drinking gin while Helen and Fiona have another crack next time.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Leaving on a jet plane......

Too busy to scribe much nonsense at the moment - sorry people. Am leaving at the weekend to fly out to Malta for a bit of diving before the winter sets in for good (well for the next six months anyway). I thought I deserved some sea and swimming in nice deep water before bundling up in woollies for the duration!

So today - I am busy sorting out dive gear - checking my equipment (ooo-er) and generally trying to get a bit organised...because before I know it Friday will be here and I'm due on a train mid-morning.

I'm going with a dear friend who has never dived before - so they're doing their Open Water qualification and I'm just going to leisure dive. Sounds perfect doesn't it? X

Saturday, 25 September 2010

I've got a bus to catch

Oh My Goodness... it's all going on here. If you read this blog earlier today you will know I have a date planned for tomorrow lunchtime (with lovely handsome younger man - yum yum)...and then (drum roll) I managed to make a new friend on facebook (I know....you're struggling with that concept) and we had a wee chat on FB chat - then he called me and then he asked me out for tea tomorrow evening:)

Tea time chap comes with recommendation as he is a friend of a friend.....

That means two changes of clothes - two lots of make-up - etc etc...

It's true what they say...men ARE like buses  :)  So I'm off to bed now as I need my beauty sleep.


Sorry I missed your party :)

This website made me laugh out loud - a few times.

The younger generation

Check me out. I have a date on Sunday afternoon with a 34 year old. That's a full thirteen years my junior. In his photo he looks well-fit.  I know that all my regular readers will await the outcome with baited breath. I will too.

Wish me luck :)

Thursday, 23 September 2010

No, No, No

I've just had a message on the dreaded dating website from a guy calling himself 'Bum-fun'. Needless to say I won't be replying.

Meter reading

The man has just been to read my Electric Meter. I've just had my carpets cleaned. So...he's not coming inside my bijou wee cottage with his shoes on. Simples. I ask him to remove his shoes - he says 'no' - (some twaddle to do with Health & Safety...needs his steel toe cap shoes for all the hazards in my home - a cushion may just fall on his toe - or he may get attacked by a dried flower....JEEZ)...

My house - my rules - my carpets - (oil of Evening Primrose....Dear?)

Cue - ensuing 'discussion' (argument) regarding the law regarding Meter Reading. I tell him (in no uncertain terms) to Piss off. My meter hasn't been read.

No matter - because when the bill comes - I can ring them up in a state of outrage at their 'estimation' - give them the correct reading - and receive an up-dated bill.

In truth I was a bit pee'd off because when the doorbell rang I thought it was probably the man from Interflora bringing me a bunch of 'Happy Birthday' flowers from George (Clooney). Alas - No - it was some spotty grungy dirty uniform-wearing  oik from 'Meter Plus'. (Who incidentally work on behalf of N Power - so that was never going to go well really....was it?)

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Kinesiology

Tonight I have been to Abbeydale Squash Club with Helen. They had a ladies health and beauty evening. Beauty therapists (Please help me) and waxers, and manicurists et al. Loads of them -but - and this is the good bit - only charging a fiver a chuck. BARGAIN!

I had a very nice back and shoulder massage  from Angela which was very relaxing - but prior to that I met Tracy Cooper. She does Kinesiology. What's that? No bloody idea. 

I laid down on a bed and had to do all sorts of weird stuff with muscles and things. Then after an assessment she told me I was depressed, de-hydrated, lacking in energy and sleeping badly. Right on the nail.

She has told me to take extra vitamin B and drink more water - and I should see an improvement within a few days.

I've ordered the vitamins and they should be here in a few days. Water's in the tap.

I'll let you know just how quickly I'm dancing on the ceiling.

Pilot Update

Went out on date with Pilot on Friday night. Had an OK time. (Mind you that did include 35 minutes of him telling me all about the break up of his last relationship - you are so clearly NOT OVER IT)  I wasn't massively entertained....he came back to mine for 'coffee' - and then he had coffee.  Then he left. We discussed future dates and made a tentative plan to go walking on Tuesday. All very nice. (yeah - right)

Then he did nothing. I text him to see if he still wanted to go. Nothing. So I text him to say that while it was nice to meet him - I didn't really see a future in things and maybe it was for the best...and all that 'nice' crap - when I actually wanted to tell him that he was a tad bad mannered !

Now he's texting me wanting to be my friend. For Christ's sake. I just don't get this stuff. Men are freaky and weird and stoooopid. Seriously!....oh yes - and they wee on the toilet seat .....

It's me :)

Things they are a-changing :) (Thankyou Bob Dylan).

Last night I went out for dinner with the ladies and had a really lovely time. I laughed - a lot. This morning I am in reflective mood - Birthdays will do that for you.

People spout all sorts of 'intellectual emotional shite' - I am one of the worst perpetrators of this particular crime. People talk all sorts of nonsense in the quest for understanding and happiness. It's all a  bit of bollocks I think. At the end of the day it's just words. What really matters is being with people who care about you - having some fun - a few bevvies - sharing the moment - relaxing and having some fun. Laughing until your sides hurt. Nice food - nice people. The quest for betterment is all a bit nonsensical. I am who I am. I do what I do. If you like that - that's great. If you don't - bugger off and make space for somebody else who might :)

ha ha ha ha :)

Birthday Girls

Tonight we have been here to celebrate mine and Fifi's birthdays. We had a lovely meal courtesy of Pete the chef (who is brilliant)...great conversation and much laughter. There were seven of us altogether..and we've had a lovely time. Thankyou to Mary, Mel, Moya, Jayne and Helen for sharing our celebration with us.

Monday, 20 September 2010

Helmand

Finally the Government has seen sense and is withdrawing our boys from the Sangin region in the Helmand province. I have no clue what - if anything we've achieved by being there - apart from the tragic loss of the lives of 337 brave young people

They're not all coming home - and the war isn't yet over - it seems like the beginning of the end though. I hope it all ends soon. 

Bring them home.

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Grand day

What a grand day. After my lovely walk earlier with the hounds and Helen and Phil - I came home - had a bubble bath...lit the log fire.......cooked and ate some bacon, sausage, tomatoes and a fried egg (lashings of HP)... and watched this film.

It's a love story (no shit Sherlock) and it's truly lovely. If you haven't seen it - I suggest you do. You won't be disappointed. 

Puppy Love




Today Millie I have been for a walk in Ecclesall Woods with Helen, Philip and Ernie. Millie and Ernie are clearly in love.

I am in love too - with the woods. The pictures don't do it justice - but it's very beautiful, and peaceful. I wore my new walking boots - and they were very comfortable...thanks Dan x

Still green !

Very soon my little cottage will go bald. All the leaves that adorn the front and sides of the house will soon drop off for the winter. Before the baldness sets in we have 48 hours when the entire colour changes from a vibrant green to a rich beautiful red. When the change comes you can see the it change in one day. It starts at the gable end and moves across the front of the house during about 12 hours. It is a sight to behold! 

So this is how it looks today...still green. I think the change is due this week. I will take a picture of it changing and post it on here for you to see.

Nature - don't you just love it?

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Well done Dan x

My lovely bright funny amazing smashing clever divine beautiful daughter has passed her accountancy exam at University. I am very proud of her. She is a superstar and I love her with all my heart.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Music

I am busily getting ready for my date tonight. Ablutions and make-up and hair and all that palaver. While I am getting ready I'm listening to music. Tonight's offering is Nickelback - who I love. I have just listened to this song. 

It's fab. I loved it the first time I heard it and I still love it now.

Thanks to the lovely Jo Kemp for introducing me to Nickelback some two years ago. I have loved them ever since - and even went to see them live last summer at the O2 arena in London. I have a tour t-shirt and everything:)

Rock and Roll x

PS It also helps that the lead singer is well fit !

Thursday, 16 September 2010

Second date...second base?

Last night I had a phone call from a chap. I liked this chap when I met him - and clearly he liked me. Told me he's been thinking about me - a lot. (Of course there could be nothing better for him to think about). He's been out with a few other ladies since we met, but sadly - none of them lit his fire quite like I did (his words - not mine....how poetic). 

So the upshot is - he's driving to mine on Friday night - will accompany me to Scuba club at the local pub in Nether Edge - and then he's taking me out to dinner. Said he can't wait to see me again.

Ker-ching :)

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Holiday plan.....

How excited am I? Yesterday my dear friend and I finalised plans for a trip that we've been talking about all year. We both (desperately) need a holiday as we haven't been away all year. (Pity party?) It's been a tough year for both of us and we need a break. We were going to go to Dan's dad's villa in Spain - but knowing him as we do - last minute changes were inevitable - and quite frankly - we couldn't cope with the stress.

I really wanted to do more diving - last time I was in the water was back in March in Gozo - but Julian has now moved to Malta. So - with the help of a pal who works for Sleasyjet (cheap flights anyone?) last night we booked heavily discounted flights to Malta, cheap and cheerful accommodation - and she is booked on a 18m Open Water diving course. She's a bit worried that she may not like diving - but I've told her that everyone loves it...what's not to like?

So while she's learning how to dive for three days - I will be doing more adventurous stuff under the sea - and after six days - we're coming home again.

We're off at the beginning of October - and won't be gone long - but it will be lovely! I can't wait :)

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Early Birthday Gift :)



My lovely daughter bought me a pair of these today. For my imminent birthday. So that I can go walking - properly! My intention - after I enjoyed my meander with Helen so much last week - is to do more of it. I will be taking my camera along and attempting to capture the beauty of the Yorkshire and Derbyshire countryside to share with you all :) I can't wait. Millie is excited too. 

We also got a pair of the proper walking trousers with the zippy off bit at the bottom - so they can - hey presto - be transformed into long shorts - should it get a bit warm!


Things are going well...I am quite excited :)

Monday, 13 September 2010

Which one's which?


Dan is home and last night I was showing her pictures from the past. I found a picture of me when I was eight and a picture of her when she was eight. Which one of us is which?

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Never before......

Today I have been reminded of my love for all things patriotic. As you know (ahem) I served in HM forces when I was a young lady (reminder picture to the right) and am very, very, very proud to have done so.  I didn't get the chance to fight for my country - but had the chance arisen I would have taken it - it wouldn't have even been something to think about. It was a given. I also have a slight new interest in all things to do with aeroplanes - seeing as I have a new 'friend' who is a pilot.

This evening I have just watched a programme about the Battle of Britain pilots from WWII with the delightful David Jason ... (I wasn't watching it with him - not on my sofa sharing peanuts and wine)....and it was excellent. It brought a tear to my eyes a few times.

I am honoured that those brave men and women gave their lives for us to maintain our country's freedom. My grandparents were involved in the war - one Grandfather built floating pontoons down in London for the Royal Navy, my other Grandfather was a POW in Italy. My Grandmother worked for the Fire service and was involved in the Sheffield Blitz. 

My friend's son has recently joined the Navy and when I saw him last week we were talking about the pride you feel as a serving member of HM Forces. I will never forget that feeling of pride...and still have it. It is a good thing.

We must never forget all those brave men and women who did what they did for us to have what we have. As Winston Churchill said 'Never before have so many owed so much to so few'.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

September 11th

We must never forget.

Happy Birthday ex-hubby :)

Yesterday was my lovely ex-husband's fiftieth birthday. Even though we divorced a few years ago we have remained friends and I love him dearly. He's a lovely, lovely man. We had ten very happy years together prior to getting married (!) and then we got married, lived together and it all went a bit Pete Tong. Nobody's fault really - just one of those things. But he remains one of the nicest people I know - and everybody who knows him says the same thing about him. 

He loves his rock music, loves his beer and likes to relax and have fun. he is one of the kindest and most gentle people on the planet, and I am extremely grateful that we are friends. It was lovely to see him and share his special evening :)

Friday, 10 September 2010

Bad legs

After our lovely walk on Wednesday - now - on Friday morning - I am walking like Douglas Bader. Muscle ache? pah!

Boob Job

No - I haven't had a boob job - and no this is not "An introduction to Mammaries" (for our male readers who may or may now know what to do with them - and boy - how annoying is that? - when you get somebody who has NO CLUE....) pinch, grab, nip grope, chew,...NO, NO, NO

(I digress).

This is a picture of the very best thing I have ever purchased. Fiona and I popped into a perfect little shop close to home yesterday as she required support of the adequate variety for her rather sumptious bosom (she certainly got my share, and yours too probably) as she is off to a party wearing a new frock on Saturday night and wanted a lovely brassiere to wear. The requirement was 1) adequate support without steel girders, 2) thinner straps and lower sides as the frock has the same and 3) pretty enough to raise Mr. Smith's temperature.

While we were in there I asked the lovely proprietor lady if she could measure my 'iccle fried eggs as I have never had them measured - probably because there is no tape measure small enough - ahem.

She did (no I'm not telling you the result) and then I asked her if she had anything that could 'help' me. She mentioned Prozac, therapy, Buddhism and a few others - then realised I was talking about my baps and not my numerous personality disorders.

Voila - the product photographed above was duly shown and duly tried on. It has secret pockets which are filled with gel. A product no doubt developed by some clever oil engineer in a laboratory somewhere near the North pole in his spare time (Thank you Dr. Brilliant). It guarantees (guarantees - it actually says 'guarantees' on the label) to boost your boobies by two cup sizes. TWO-CUP-SIZES. No less!!!

I tried it on - and the result was - well - marvellous. I was 'jiggling'. I have never ever 'jiggled' in my entire life. My sad and sorry little puppy dogs ears were transformed into the kind of heaving bosom that a dickensian heroine would be proud of. I was transfixed, delighted and amazed. I purchased. And all for the princely sum of twenty quid. BARGAIN.

I promise you - my life has been transformed. I now have boobs that would actually get noticed in a crowd. I kid you not. Well, actually I don't have boobs that would get noticed - but I do have the appearance of boobs that would get noticed. Not that it matters. (...Trade Descriptions Act ....I hear you mutter). The way I look at it is this...if somebody likes me enough to get my bra off (I live in eternal hope) I'm sure it's my mind and my spirit and my soul they like - not my boobs. and they won't be too disappointed to discover the truth - will they? Besides - they're not going to stop at that point - surely? It would be like trying to stop a runaway train :)

The picture above is not a picture of my boobs.....no...it is a picture I knicked from the bra company's website - but my boobs do look just like that when I am wearing the wonderful garment of great 'boobiness'. Although my model is in black (you don't say). So any girls out there who may need a bit of 'lift' the product is called 'Solutions Gel Bra' and is available from www.atlantis-lingerie.com.

Tonight I'm going to my ex-husband's fiftieth birthday party for an hour or two - so we'll see if the new boobies (bra) have any effect on the over 50's of Nether Edge.

I'll let you know......

PS - Before you write in - yes I do know all about Chicken Fillets - but after a disastrous evening at an office Christmas Ball in a marquee in a muddy field somewhere just outside Walton-Upon-Thames......when (during a quite vigorous rendition of YMCA) one escaped my bra and ended up slithering about on the dance floor - I have no affection or time for that particular product :)

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Walking with dogs :)

Today has been amazing - and it's not finished yet :)

Helen and I took Millie and Ernie to Chatsworth for a long, long walk. We walked for about 5 miles. Through fields, and woods.... and the dogs swam (Ernie swam - Millie paddled) and we chatted and laughed and then stopped a few times to admire the stunning and outstanding beauty. We are very blessed living where we do - as within a ten minute drive we are in the midst of the Peak District National Park - which is (I am a bit biased) one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I saw so many truly beautiful and inspiring sights today that a few times I had tears in my eyes. My only regret is that I didn't take my camera. But I will next time, and then I can show you what I was so moved by.

We had lunch in the delightful courtyard area of the house - and then on the walk back to the car Millie found a huge cow pat - and rolled in it :) I am now waiting for her to dry (she is banished to the garden) so that I can brush her coat and get the offending faecal matter out! 

Meditation

In our (my) quest for inner peace (oh - gosh - how deep!) I have explored many things of late. I've been to Church, I've been to counselling, I've read extensiveley - books on all manners of subjects. 

Some have been good and helped a little. Others - not so good.

I know one fundamental thing. I want to be more, do more, learn more.....and most fundamentally - I want to feel good and quiet and still and peaceful inside. 

I have tried meditation (can you imagine me with a still mind..?...no, thought not), but can't quite seem to get there. 

Yesterday - whilst idly browsing the web I happened across the website for the Buddhist centre here in Sheffield. They teach a course on meditation. The next course starts tonight. At 7.30. So that's where I'll be. 

I think there may be a problem with the sitting cross legged :)

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Not for me

Now Wayne Rooney's been a bad boy. Actually - let's not call him a boy as it kind of trivialises what he's done. Makes him sound too young to be fully responsible for his own actions. And he's not - he's grown man. With a wife and a son. So - when he dropped his pants - can somebody please explain what he was thinking? 

Why do people do that cheating thing? What on earth is it that they're looking for? Excitement? flattery? something a bit different? an escape from the problems that they're having in their relationship? When you take your marriage vows - or express romantic commitment to somebody - why would you then go ahead and have a relationship with somebody else. At what point do you begin to ignore your conscience - and excuse yourself - how do you excuse yourself? How can you possibly make it right within your heart?

I....Just....don't.....get....it.

Rainbows

Last night it rained. A lot. I could hear a drip, drip, drip - somewhere where it shouldn't have been...if you know what I mean. I think it may be somewhere in the roof. The difficulty with living in a 200+ year old cottage with the original roof is that it probably has a few holes!

I searched everywhere for water coming through - but as yet - haven't been able to find any. I do love the rain - as it washes and cleanses - and brings much needed moisture to the ground - so that we can grow beautiful things and have food to eat. I love walking in the rain - and after about ten years of keeping horses - the rain just doesn't bother me.

However - I don't really want it 'inside' my little house! (Mainly because expensive roof repairs just aren't in my budget right now).

It did make me think though - about renewal - and cleansing - and growth - and all of those kinds of things. (Which - let's face it - is a bit deep for 2.30am).

Now - the sun is out - it's early morning - and there's a lovely lovely rainbow above :)

That makes me think about that line from some random song which I can't remember ... 'after the rain comes the sunshine' - or something.....

How lovely x

Monday, 6 September 2010

Love

Today - via the few degrees of separation  - I became friends on FB with the man who writes a blog. He lives on the other side of the Atlantic - and when I looked at his pictures I just knew he had a good heart and a beautiful soul. You can see it in his eyes. It's obvious. It could never be denied.

He has written this post - amongst many others - but this piece is about a love letter from his father to his mother. Please read it. 

That's the kind of love that I'm looking for - and I won't rest until I find it.

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Simon says "Can you pass on from me.....it's 4 No's"

Last night I watched 'The X factor'. Those of you who know me will know that I love this show - especially the audition stages - which are on at the mo. It causes laughter, tears and sometimes cringing. Never before has it caused me to feel absolute horror! But last night it certainly did. For those of you who missed it - you really need to watch Abby and Lisa's audition.

The very worrying thing is that both these young ladies are probably fertile and will - at some point in the future - mother children (but the pregnancies will probably be the result of some fumbling with a stupid young man who has drunk 17 Stellas and will therefore be wearing extra strength beer goggles) - and be responsible for bringing up those children and teaching them all they need to know :)

Note : check out the size and shape of one of the girls' Mums who is standing backstage wearing a (large) white polo shirt....Jeez!

Does anybody have the phone number for Dr. Barnados?

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Afternoon Movie

I just watched 'The Notebook'. It's a lovely film. It's about a truly beautiful love story. At the end I cried, and then I cried some more...and then I cried again :)

It made me laugh......

Yesterday Fiona was telling me about something her son Joshua had said. (He's 19). Somebody asked him if he wanted to do something......and his reply...."I'd rather shit in my hands - and clap"

We'll take that as a 'No' then Josh?

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Limp lap-top

Following a hissy fit last night during which I punched my laptop and very nearly threw it out of the window (I don't know - you just don't get these issues with a Mac......) Today I went to buy a new laptop. Mine - which I've only had a year - is so crammed with shite that it runs slower than a snail's pace. I used it extensively while I was displaced as my beloved I-Mac was in storage. 

In Curry's I was gutted to realise just how expensive they are - at least for a good one. 

So following the advice of a pal - I went to PC repair shop near my house and my little laptop is booked in tomorrow for a 24 hour period during which its hard drive will be wiped completely and Windows etc will all be re-installed. The result will be like a new laptop. (I can't wait). 

All for the princely sum of just £59.

I love a bargain :)

Maslow


Today I was chatting to somebody and explaining to them all about Maslow. Who's he? Well he's not the guy who works down the chip shop - that's for sure. He theorised about the heirarchy of needs. As you can see above - as humans we have many needs - bodily needs, emotional needs and spiritual needs. Very simply the theory goes that when one range of needs are met (starting at the bottom of the triangle) we then become concerned with the next set of needs.

It's very true. If you're hungry and don't have a roof over your head - that issue will become all encompassing - however - once you have a home with food in the larder - something else becomes important. It's a very big subject - and very interesting to learn about. The diagram above is very simplified - but it just shows the stages that we go through in our goals. Before we can move up a level - our needs on the level we are at must be met.

If you'd like to know more - read this (and anything else you can find)

That's all folks x

PS - The credit for me knowing about Maslow goes completely to my dear dear friend Mr Dennis Carr who taught me this stuff some twenty two years ago :)

Monday, 30 August 2010

Dan said the loveliest thing....

Dan's home for a couple of days. We were preparing dinner together this evening and she was talking about her best friend, Emily. Then she said to 'You're my real best friend, Mum'.

I had no idea that she thought of me that way. It brought a huge lump to my throat - I can tell you. What bigger compliment can a girl pay to her Mother?

Sunday, 29 August 2010

Stuff

Sorry I haven't been here for a while - but I've been a bit busy. Just doing 'stuff' - you know how it is. Nothing really to report. How boring is that?

Catch up soon -  promise X

Sunday, 22 August 2010

Biggles Update

Here I am - all ready to go!!! (Pooing my pants - actually!)


You can see our 'ouse from up 'ere!!!


Me - flying the plane - (look at my handbag clutched on my lap!!!)


Today I've been on the best first date ever. With a Pilot. He took me flying. Doesn't get any cooler than that!! And what's more I quite liked him. 

Will I be seeing him again? Yes - probably :)

Saturday, 21 August 2010

X Factor is back :)

Did you watch the 'X Factor" tonight? I just love that programme. Especially the beginning few weeks when the auditions are on. It's the best thing on TV by a mile. It is so damn funny and it makes me laugh out loud and cringe a lot. I love it. 

Once the auditions are over and it becomes all serious - I can take it or leave it - but I just love the great British public with their delusions of talent!!!! (and secretly I am in love with Simon)...(I would also do a turn with Cheryl)...(and what has happened to Louis - has he had a hair weave this year?)

Biggles

Oh My God - tomorrow I'm going out for lunch and then I'm going flying!!!! A very nice American guy (note - when they're American - they're 'Guys' - not 'chaps') called me tonight from the dreaded dating website. He's an private charter airline pilot - and he's got his own 'plane. 

He's picking me up after my morning breakfast with Jacqui and whisking me away ....how exciting is that? Talk about fantastic first dates!!! That one would beat all the other first dates I've ever had right into a cocked hat!!!

The only deciding factor is that it depends on the weather - so everybody keep your fingers crossed for a great weather here tomorrow :)...mind you - he did say that if the weather isn't great he's going to bring his picnic hamper and we'll have champagne and raspberries in a little country park instead.

How ideal does that sound?

I'll keep you posted!


PS - Thinking about it - he'll probably fly me to Morocco where he will have previously arranged to sell me to a slave trader......

More Afternoon Movies

This afternoon Fifi and I have watched this movie. We also scoffed delicious cream and Jam scones. This is another of my collection of beloved 1960's British kitchen sink drama movies that I love so very much.

This one stars Susan George, James Mason, Rodney Bewes and a host of others you would instantly recognise.

It all starts with a herring - and unfolds from there...

It is a fabulous movie - and we were wooping with delight when we recognised items such as egg cups and table cloths identical to the ones our mothers had when we were small. 

I can recommend this film - very highly X

Congratulations Jane!

I have a special friend who lives in London. We are blogging pals and FB friends. She's a musician and uber talented. We met up in London a while back and had a nice evening out sharing shushi and conversation. I like her...and well - she's fallen in love with a great man and just got engaged. She is also one of the original Princess Shiny Diamond Girls. She has her own Tiara and everything !

Apparently she's very happy - and I am so pleased for her. Champagne all round I think ....

Summer?

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. The rain in England falls mainly on Sheffield. Every day I get news from my pals far and wide of 'how sunny it is here'...and to be honest - I'm a bit narked by it all. It's rained here every day for what seems like forever. We had a few sunny spells back in June - and - well - that was our summer. 

I have a pretty little garden that I would love to sit out in - complete with very nice patio set of four chairs and a table - made from hardwood which I have lovingly oiled and cleaned - but at this present moment it's covered in its winter clothing and hasn't seen the light of day for weeks. 

In nine days time it will be September - and then all chance of balmy summer evenings will be over. It will soon be time to put the central heating on and get out the winter coats. Face the biting winds and dig out the woolly hats and scarves. Electric blanket and Christmas shopping beckons.....

Bloody hell.

Friday, 20 August 2010

Dear Boris

As you know I am pretty 'au-fait' with all things IT. As a result of my far reaching and extensive knowledge (wry smile) and the wonders of modern software - I am always aware when you read my blog. You have been informed of this before - but still you continue. It feels like you are stalking me.

I would really like you to STOP peeping into my life in this way. It's creepy and un-nerving....and grossly and massively unfair. How would you like it if I was to come to your house and peer in through your living room windows?

You've had enough time now - perhaps you should move on?

Lots of Love  - Wanda x

Three dates

All of a sudden things are hotting up on the dating front. Next week I have got three. That's three dates to go out on. Three new chaps to meet. How exciting (!)....

Date 1 - Not actually from the dating website - got in touch with this chap through a random telephone chat regarding internet security - after somebody attempted to run a 'ripper' on this blog. (What's a ripper?...it's a small programme which quickly copies your entire website and downloads it to someplace else.) Highly illegal (I think) and very naughty. I'm taking a big chance here because I have no idea what he even looks like. But we've chatted on the phone and he makes me laugh. I like that.

Date 2 - A nice gentleman from Hathersage. At 57 - he's a bit older than I would normally go for - but his picture is nice and we've had a nice chat on the 'phone and he seems lovely. Once again - he's an IT consultant - and has lived in South Africa for the last few years. Seems interesting.

Date 3 - A Company Director from Milton Keynes. We're meeting for dinner on Bank Holiday Monday - he's driving up here - nice manners you see. We've chatted on the 'phone and he seems to be on the same kind of wavelength. His picture looks nice too.

Of course - if nothing else it's nice to make new friends. So let's see what happens.

By the way - this week I signed up for another dating website - which was free. Now I've been on it for two days - without a profile photograph - I know why it's free. I've had over a 150 messages and most of them are extremely choice in their content. These people are very forward.....and suggestive...and please can you explain why somebody would suggest a 'shag' when they've never even seen a picture - let alone had any contact? Am I living on another planet?

Thursday, 19 August 2010

Giddy Kipper

I am so excited - my website is nearly ready to launch - oh it's fab...so cool - the designer has done a great job...it's funky and cool and I love it....love it....love it.

So far I am having a great week. All of a sudden everything is coming together is the best way possible. 

Good times ahead - I can feel it in my water !!

Sunday, 15 August 2010

More Birthday Pics






















































































































My baby girl is all grown up



Today is Dan's 21st birthday. Happy Birthday Dan. I love you with all my heart. I am very proud of all you have achieved and the beautiful young woman you have become. I wish you every success in your future - with your career, with your life and with your heart.


PS. I love your hat


The World is Waiting

Dan rang me a few weeks ago and asked what I would say if she were to have a tattoo. I advised against it - not because I disapprove or anything (how the hell could I when I sport two of my own?) but I just didn't want her to do anything which she would later regret. I did advise her to have it placed somewhere where she could easily cover it up if necessary. I certainly didn't want her to have "L O V E and H A T E" tattooed on her fingers. Lovely Auntie Fiona also advised against it.

Anyway - when I arrived with her on Saturday night she took me to one side and said in a nervous voice..."Mum, please don't be cross with me...but..." and then showed me her foot. She has had a latin inscription tattooed along the bottom edge of her foot - so it's completely covered up as soon as she puts on a pair of shoes.

The latin reads..."Orbis terrarum est expecto". It translates as 'The world is waiting". I actually think that's very cool and inspirational. ...and Yes, she said it did hurt :)

Saturday, 14 August 2010

Happy birthday

Today it is my friend Liz's birthday. She is still very young. Tomorrow is Dan's 21st. I just want to wish both of these lovely girls who mean so much to me a very delicious fantastic exciting and sumptuous happy birthday. With love x

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Conscious Robots

On the train yesterday I got chatting to a scientist...(as you do). He was on his way to London to get hold of a visa which would enable him to work in Japan for the next 12 months. The purpose of his work? To further study and investigate conscious robots.

As he explained it...(I was a bit confused)...there will soon be robots who are capable of thought. Not just a serious of pre-programmed q&a binary - yes/no - switches - which is how stuff works nowadays....(in other words - not just 'database with every eventuality - flow chart processing.'.....get my drift?) - but actual conscious thought processes the same as we have in our wee little brains. These robots will eventually be used to care for people.

I understood what he was saying - and the way he explained it - it certainly seemd possible - if not highly probable - and seeing as he's off to do research on behalf of one of the huge electronics corporations - it's all highly likely.

I said I would be happy to test a nice caring robot - provided they wrapped it in skin - gave it hair and implanted it with george Clooney's face (and obviously...other bits).

Apparently - 'Cyber-George' will be delivered to my house next week :) I have requested that he knows how to make the perfect Gin and Tonic - and that he's totally programmed with page 79 of the Karma Sutra!

Whatever happened to Adrian Mole?

I'm away at the moment - and getting to my destination required train travel. This required book purchase at the railway station. (I actually met a very interesting person on the train who educated me on the future of conscious robots - but that's a whole other blog post).

Having thoroughly enjoying the 'Diary of Adrian Mole' when I was a girl (and he was just a boy) I bought this book.

It is hilarious. I laughed out loud several times on the train - much to the horror of my fellow travellers - obviously I won't recount the story - or even precis it on here - because that would spoil your enjoyment of said tome when you go and purchase it - which you must.

I insist :)