Edward Scissorhands

Today I have watched this movie. It's one that Christian bought for me many years ago after I'd had an incident with some scissors !!! (thinking about that particular event now makes me laugh very much - but it wasn't nice at the time, and if it hadn't been for Christian and another friend I don't think I would have got through it!) It's a lovely film and if you've never seen it I suggest you watch it very soon. I won't tell you what it's about or the plot because to do so would spoil your pleasure.

Apple Mac or Microsoft - Answer below.....

Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft engineer. "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.

They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the rest room door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft engineers decide to copy the Apple engineers (as they always do) on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft engineer. "Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple engineer. When they board the train the three Microsoft engineers cram into a rest room and the three Apple engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Apple engineers leaves his rest room and walks over to the rest room where the Microsoft employees are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."

Extremely Thankful

Today I went to get a coffee from the little shop across the road from our office. As I stepped out of the building I saw a young (ish) man who was very shabby looking. His clothes were very dirty and ill fitting as he was extremely thin. He was stumbling as he walked and he clearly hadn't had a good wash or a good meal for quite a while. As he walked past me - he bent down to pick up a old cigarette end off the floor, and then he did it again.

My heart broke for this guy. There was I - feeling sorry for myself - just about to go and spend a couple of quid on a take-away coffee (self -indulgent) and this chap hadn't had a good meal or a bath in ages.

There are some people who would say he was a scrounger, or a drug addict, or a homeless tramp, or an alcoholic - but I saw somebody's son, somebody's brother, somebody's grandson who had probably taken the wrong path, and couldn't find his way back on to the correct one. When he was a little boy - he probably wanted to be an astronaut or a footballer, or something equally fantastic. I wonder what had pushed him to where he is now? Maybe a hard childhood, a bad relationship, possible mental illness - it could be anything. Who is to know? All I know when I see people like that - who are clearly in a very hard place - is that getting there would never have been their intention. Things happen to people and they sometimes don't have the emotional strength or intellectual energy to fix things. Depression and / or addiction is often the result, and that can be almost impossible to get away from.

There but for the Grace of God goes every single one of us....and I, for one, am extremely thankful for all I have.

Thank you my friends

I have had such overwhelming love and support from my friends far and wide for the last few days. I am so very grateful to you all for being there for me. It has made me realise how much love there is in my little world. When I stumble you help me back to my feet, and when I fall completely over - you pick me back up - time and time again. How absolutely blessed I am to be surrounded by such generous spirited, kind, caring, compassionate people.

That's enough of that

I've had enough of feeling down and self-pitying now...48 hours of that nonsense is more than enough. Johnson's baby shampoo (no more tears) is the way forward for me. So tonight I'm going out with Su for a drink, and lets open ourselves up for new possibilities. Yippee - I can feel a few Gin and Tonics coming on!!!

On to happier things now

Yesterday I had a lovely time. At lunchtime I had a great riding lesson on Phoebe. She was, as always, as good as gold and the lesson was a great success - mind you - we were both very sweaty by the time we had finished (yuch) - it was sooo hot here yesterday.

Later in the afternoon I drove to Portsmouth to see an old friend who used to be in Cyprus with me when I was in the army over there in 1984 and 1985. It was lovely to meet up with Nicky again and her two little girls, Phoebe and Lucy. We went out for a meal and then came back home and dragged out the photographs. We used to be in the Theatre Group together (oh so hammy!) and there were loads of photographs to look at. I haven't laughed so much in ages...what were we thinking!!!! I recognised so many people in those pictures that I haven't thought about for years - people that I spent many good times with - when we were young and so carefree. I've said this before - I loved my time in the army - it was probably the best time of my life, and living in Cyprus for 2 years was the tops.

It was so good to catch up - and now we're back in contact we'll be seeing each other regularly!!!!

Greedy !

I'm sure it's okay to eat a whole tub of Haagen Dasz Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream isn't it? Nothing bad will happen to me? Oh well, it's too late now. But I do feel a bit sick !!

Fun !!!

I've been at work today (what's new?) and I'm in the office again tomorrow - and then I've got the rest of the week off - yippeeee!!! I can't wait to get a bit of a break from the humdrum, difficult, tedious work that is my lot at the moment. All the best people I used to work with have now left and I seem to be left with all the numpties. There's one in particular that I could tell you about - but he's so ridiculous that I really can't be be bothered. I am soooo looking forward to Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week. I'm going to have some FUN!!!

Lovely Day

Today I went for a boozy sunday lunch with Jo and Su. The food was great - I had Rib Eye steak - but when Jo's lamb arrived I wish I had had that :)

We were talking about the things that girls talk about when we talk about men, and what you're meant to do with them:) If you're a man - you won't know what on earth I'm on about here - but if you're a girl you'll know exactly what I mean...and very very funny it was too. We had a lovely time, with a great deal of stomach aching laughter That's something that you only really get when you're out with the girls - sorry guys :( but laughing with you is different (just as good - but different).

Top Gear has just been on - and it was a fantastic episode. I especially liked the hunting feature - well I would - wouldn't I? I used to follow the hunt when they hunted real foxes....(please don't be offended - each to their own...let's not get into any kind of heated debate regarding the merits or not of fox-hunting...that one's been done to death and as yet there is no agreement).... I was convinced that the Hamster was going to fall off seeing as he'd never jumped over fences before - but he didn't - very impressive!!!

Before we went out to Lunch Jo and I had half an hour trying on outfits for a specific occasion later in the week. I was trying on and she was grading....hot, or not so hot. We finally decided on an outfit that is hot. I haven't tried on clothes with a girlfriend's advice since I was a teenager!!!

Work tomorrow - Boo Hiss - so off now for an early night with a good book (how are you spelling that?)

Squeeze - Up the Junction

I've just read what I wrote the other day about the good old days in 1979...so as a special treat here's Squeeze "Up the Junction".

Madness

I've been to Tesco this morning and probably came close to being locked up in the loony-bin. For some reason I'm in a really good mood today and feeling very friendly towards everyone. In Tesco I kept smiling at all people who crossed my path or looked at me. The trouble is - because I'm like I am - I kind of overdid it and started grinning at everyone like the Village Idiot. Not Good. People worry :) Southerners are not really a very reserved bunch of people and find it a tad un-nerving when some mad northern bird starts saying 'Hello" and grinning at them from ear to ear!!!

I had dropped my truck off at the car valeting place just around the corner, so on the way out of Tesco I had to negotiate all the traffic entering and leaving the car park (whoever designed Tesco carpark at Brooklands clearly had some hankering to be a Formula 1 racing driver...all twists and turns). I nearly got run over about three times and each time it happened I just laughed even more. I am convinced that they now have me on CCTV grinning like an idiot, dodging traffic, and laughing like a maniacal pre-menopausal tart. Marry that with driving through the barrier at Staines last week - and you could be forgiven for reaching the conclusion that I should maybe go and see someone:)

I've always suspected that I am bit barking (no comments please...Christian) but I think this morning it is now officially confirmed.

Kubica

If it's true what they say about the size of a man's nose - I can think of lots of girls who would like Robert Kubica's 'phone number :)

Saturday

Today has been a busy day. I've had to balance my bank accounts. That has taken hours and hours and it's a job I detest. It requires concentration, diligence, and applying myself to rows and rows of figures when I'd much rather be doing something a lot more FUN. After a visit to the beauty salon (I know that you can't believe that I would need to go to a beauty salon) I went to Jo's for a bacon sandwich and Tim was showing us all the places he has marked on Google Earth. Then we watched the qualifying for the Grand Prix. I think Tim really should get out a bit more. The places on Google Earth were really fascinating - but I mean - well, ...really!!! Jo and I both started to giggle at the same time - but we had to suppress them for fear of hurting his feelings!!! When I left Jo was informing him that tonight he HAD to watch 'Serendipity". Poor Tim - I can feel more 'Google Earth" coming on:)

Now I'm just about to go and ride my beautiful horse. Then I'm calling for an Indian take-away - an early night I think and tomorrow we're off out for a boozy girl's Sunday lunch...yippee!!!!

Great people and good things come into my life

This is a mantra that a friend of mine lives their life by. They believe it - and it works for them. It's a kind of cosmic ordering, or PMA - or whatever you want to call it - but with this attitude - all they see and feel is the great people and good things. It works on the theory that whatever you think about is what happens. So if you expect and believe in good things - then good things are what comes your way. Conversely - if you think about bad things - the bad things are what come to you. The power of the sub-conscious mind :) I suppose what happens is that when you focus and see the good things - you don't have time - or don't notice the bad things. Whatever you expect is what you will get. Ask and you shall receive. Whatever you think about becomes your reality.

Serendipity

This is a great movie about fate and the hand it plays in our lives. I loved it:)

Thursday Night in Esher

Thursday night in Esher has a bit of a reputation :) It's where all the singles go!! How funny!! I'm going there tonight for a few drinks with a friend to see what occurs! If nothing else it should be fun. A couple of good looking girls like us should do okay!!! Hopefully I won't have to buy a drink all night.

Why you should eat less sometimes!!!!

They don't know what they're missing

I have just been talking to Matt who works with me about Monty Python. He's 29 years old and doesn't really know what I'm talking about. He's never heard of the Parrot Sketch or the Argument sketch and only has a vague knowledge of 'Life of Brian'. I feel really sorry for the younger generation. They don't know what they're missing. He was born in 1979, and I just asked him what he thought I might have been doing in 1979. He said ..."celebrating your fortieth?" .....cheeky git! It cracks me up when I think back to what I was doing in 1979.

I was 16 (do the math) and some of the things I got up to would make a nun blush!!! My parents had a pub in a mining village (before the demise of the British Coal Mining Industry) and the pub was full every night with young lads who all had money to burn. At one point I had three boyfriends and none of them knew about each other. My friend Gill (who I met when I worked for the Midland Bank) and I used to go out every night and never spend any money - but we used to come home quite tiddly!!! They were such good times and I remember them with great fondness. I also had a part time job in another pub in town - and the manager of the pub was a CB radio enthusiast. I have spent a few nights sat in a car at Woolley Edge services having random CB radio conversations with total losers...what was I thinking? The song I remember best from that particular time is "Betty Davies Eyes" by Kim Carnes. Also some "Squeeze" tracks...'Up the Junction' especially, and Police's "Message in a Bottle" and "Roxanne". Great times :) It's definitely that 'music memories' thing happening again. Don't you just love that?

Nice Evening - even though Lisa isn't here!!

Tonight Emma and I have been for a Curry. Lisa - who normally comes too is in Barbados for a month (Grrrrrr) but she says it's raining there today :).How awful for her - yeah right...bloody terrible !!!! Anyway - we had a lovely natter and a very good laugh. After I left the curry house I just went for a drive for half an hour. I used to do that often when I was younger - just get in the car late at night and go for a drive. I was listening to cool music that I like at a quite high volume!!! Reminded me of when I was younger and I used to drive out to the moors late at night to look at the sky! Anyway I played this CD as I drove around in the dark and it made me feel very upbeat. Then when I got home a few minutes ago - Millie was delighted to see me - I love my dog!!! It's great to come home and feel so welcome !!!!

Dan and Rupert

Here's a nice picture of the two most expensive things in my life!!! Good job they're very precious !!! What a big jump!!! :)

Class Of 99; Wear Sunscreen

THis is what Dan sent to me on CD today. I love it xxx

My Girl

Our Dan is a lovely girl - even though I do say so myself. Today I received a lovely surprise parcel from her. Inside it was a copy of The Kooks album 'Konk", a bar of Green and Black's Black Cherry chocolate (my favourite) two bars of Turkish delight chocolate, and a lovely card - together with a cd copy of Baz Luhrmann's 'Sunscreen' which is very good indeed. She's so thoughtful and caring. She sent me these things because when I spoke to her on Sunday I was feeling a tad miserable and she wanted to cheer me up!!! Today she's eventing with Rupert so I hope she's doing well. Love you Dan xxxxxxxxx

Good start

This morning I am late for work. I have just arrived. I have forgotten my specs - so cannot see a bloody thing - someone has set the aircon to sub-arctic temperatures ...brrrr... and my chair has just broken. Things can only get better :)

Direct debit Hell

This morning I went to the cashpoint only to find I was overdrawn. I never, ever, ever go overdrawn (haven't done for about ten years) - and luckily I have an overdraft facility so I won't get charged for this - but the problem was that a company I paid a large deposit to by cheque a couple of months ago - have now spanked the same amount again by direct debit!!!! Cheeky Fuckers. I remember when Christian (and I) was poor a few years ago and Sheffield City Council took a whole years council tax off him in one hit by Direct Debit. He couldn't eat for about 8 weeks!!! I really dislike Direct debits because when you set one up the actual paperwork says that they can take as much as they like whenever they like. Usually they don't - but when they do - it's often a real struggle to get it back. So, I need you all to pray that my £850 will be returned to me with immediate effect!!! Luckily I have savings - so I'm covered - but my blood ran cold this morning when I went to get some money so I could have a latte and a bacon sandwich on my way into work!!

Tesco Advert - Richard Hammond

OOOhhh I'm so excited - more Richard Hammond on the TV!!!. He's in a new Morrisons's advert about the fresh meat counter. At the end of the advert he crashes his trolley into a woman who is walking past. She turns round and calls him, in a cross way..". a roadhog "...(there's a joke there somewhere). I wouldn't do that if he crashed into my trolley in Tesco. I would dive on top of him and do him right there on the floor of the supermarket....in front of everybody. NO SHAME !!!

Top Comment from Clarkson

Top Gear was fabulous again last night. But I'm not going to give you a complete run-down like I did last week. If you're that interested you can watch it yourself - BBC2 Sunday 8PM. But he did say that Sarah Jessica Parker looked like a 'boiled horse'. And do you know what? she does!!!!!!

I Really love Motorbikes!!!! - What a thrill :)

Well - I've just got back from being a pillion passenger on the wrong bike with the wrong man - and even when you take the wrong bike and the wrong man out of the experience it was still totally amazing. How weird - I thought I would be really scared and nervous - but no - absolutely not... I loved every second of it. Somebody said to me that being on a big fast bike was better than sex - and I so get where they're coming from with that...it was really really really great. I Have been on the back of a motorbike before - but only once and it was a long long time ago - but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I so totally understand now where the 'motor-bike' passion thing comes from with people. I loved the fact that you can weave in and out of traffic, I loved the acceleration - what a buzz - and I absolutely loved the speed - even doing 120mph on the M25 didn't freak me out...I just laughed and would have liked to have gone faster!!! Get me - a speed freak!!! Apparently I was a natural at the leaning...although I did struggle to keep my bum on the seat - I kept sliding forward and that wasn't particularly comfortable.

When we arrived at our destination I took the helmet off and my hair wasn't ruined - Bonus!!!!

We went to biker's cafe at Box Hill in Surrey and there where about 300 people there and about 200 bikes. Bike people are all ages, all shapes and sizes and all really friendly. There were scarey hell's angles types chatting to people who appeared to be Bank manager types - what a laugh!!! I had a ball. Some of the bikes were truly beautiful - there were some that were just works of art on two wheels. I may sell my horse and buy a bike!!!

I can't wait to do it again - but next time it has to be with the right man - and it has to be the Kawasaki ZX9R.

Tick Tock - Wrong Bike

Kawasaki ZX9R

Isn't it funny how time passes? We're told that it passes at the same rate no matter what. But that's not true - just ask any child who is waiting for Christmas!! When you're waiting for something time drags its feet - and when you're having fun - it pops on its Nike trainers and veritably sprints by. So - when you're waiting for something - I think the answer is to try and have fun - that way the time slow / fast thing balances itself out........with me so far?

So fun, then, is the order of the day. Today I am going out with a male friend to Box Hill (which thankfully is not that far!) on the back of his motorbike for a bacon sandwich - that should be fun...right? (that's if I don't fall off!!). The motorbike is a CBR 900RR Fireblade and is the wrong bike because it belongs to completely the wrong person - there's someone else's motorbike that I would far rather be getting onto the back of...but we're having fun so that the time passes quicker. When the time has passed - maybe I'll get to go on the right motorbike - which is a Kawasaki ZX9R (what is this thing with 900cc motorbikes and guys in their late forties?...is it a re-discovering your youth mission?) and belongs to completely the right person. Here's hoping !!!!

Mr Brooks

Last night after a fun afternoon at Jo's - where there was a street party - I watched this movie. If you haven't seen it - I would say don't bother. I was told it was really scarey - but it isn't. There wasn't much of a story line to it - in fact all in all it was pretty crap. The female lead character (played by a very one dimensional and wooden "I couldn't act my way out of a paper bag" Demi-Moore) was called 'Tracy'. Even that wasn't enough to turn it into a good movie. I don't even rate Kevin Costner much anymore. All in all a big disappointment, and a waste of two hours of my time.

Another great song

In this song - during the first few lines he sings about 'the bubble bursts'. I hope my bubble doesn't burst !!

The Blower's Daughter

This song is from the movie 'Closer' which is a great film. I love this song :)

More Friends re-united

This friends re-united things is really kicking in now. New people are coming into my life at an alarming pace. I have had a message from a very special old friend that I had a great fondness for when I was in Cyprus for two years during my Army days. We were very close for a while, and when this person left Cyprus to be posted back to the UK - they left their canary (called Christopher) with me to look after!!!. I went to this person's wedding in 1986 and they came to my wedding in 1985. Sadly - neither of us is still married. Today I have received a message and an e mail and am planning a possible trip to Portsmouth in a few days time to meet up!!! It's so lovely to get these special unexpected treats :)

Update - 10pm - well that's another 2 hour telephone conversation done!!! It's so great to reminisce about my Army Days. Nicky, my friend - was the first friend I made when I arrived in Cyprus all alone back in September 1984. We had so much fun together. When she got married I was her bridesmaid and she repaid the favour for me. We were in the theatre group together and we have just been crying with laughter at some of the things we got up to during our two years together at 9 Signal Regiment In Ayios Nikolaos from 1984 until 1986. I'm meeting up with her in Portsmouth in two weeks time. Can't wait :)

Millie gets a haircut

How cute is she? Mind you - she does look a wee bit grumpy!!! She hates the hairdryer at the groomers and tries to bite it!!

I love this song

Day off

No work for me today - yippee!!! Millie has an appointment to get her hair cut at 9.30 and then I'm off to Trish's for lunch. I love Trish - she's a great friend - and when she worked with us she was one of the three musketeers who would meet each day for coffee at 7.30am....when we would sit and put the world to rights. Now there's just me and Darren and we miss her very much :( I can't wait to see her for a good old natter and a catch up.

Last night I went out for dinner with Jo - and had a very nice lamb shank...(have just read that back and I hope that nobody misconstrues what I'm saying!!!...or is that 'ham shank'?) with mash potato. Jo told me about some music tracks that she loves and that mean a lot to her. So when I got home I bought them from itunes (bargain at 79p each) and listened to them. 'Hurt' by Christina Aguilera, 'How come the world won't stop turning' by Anastastasia, and also 'The Blower's Daughter' by Damien Rice. I really like all three of them. Listen to them and let me know what you think. I would post them on here but I haven't yet figured out how to do that...I'm not even sure if you can ...Christian?

Yesterday I also had a go at writing some poetry...but that's something I need to practice more at :)

Ken Lee

This is very funny. I used to have a Maths teacher at school called Ken Lee - I wonder if he knows he's been immortalised forever by some random bird in Bulgaria!!!!!

Shiny Bright

Today I had a really good idea at work. Believe me that doesn't happen very often. The response was one of great enthusiasm from our Chairman. Sometimes I can still be shiny-bright :)

Staines Massive

Tonight I've been to Staines for Dinner with Emma and Sam. Whilst leaving the carpark - (which has one of those red and white stripey barriers - you need to put your ticket in and the barrier lifts up) I was talking to my brother on the 'phone and not concentrating...I just drove straight through the barrier and it snapped off!!!!! I don't think it has damaged my car but I can't really see as it's dark outside. I hope to God they don't have CCTV or I'll be in serious trouble. I couldn't stop laughing all the way home. Sometimes I am so bloody stupid :)

Update
The Bonnet of my new car is quite badly scratched - add that to the bad front wing scratches that I did the other week- what a tit I am!!

Update Sunday 13th

Have just had a message from Emma via facebook and she says that the barrier has been put back on - it's just a bit bent!!!! Hilarious!!

Who do we know who has a Bentley?

Naughty Phoebe in the rain

Phoebe hates rain - and when she goes out in the rain she can be really really naughty to bring in again...she gets a bit agitated - I think it's a girly thing - to do with getting her hair wet:) When I got to the yard this afternoon one of the girls was just bringing her in and she was rearing right up on her hind legs and nearly trampling this poor girl to death. Extremely dangerous and very very naughty!! I hid around the corner until she was safely inside her stable, just in case anyone decided to blame me for having such a badly-behaved horse. And they wonder why I pay someone else to turn her out and bring her in? !!! I'm not stupid enough to attempt it!!

And all because the lady loves

chocolate when it's raining....!!!

Well - lets be honest here - she loves chocolate at any time - whatever the weather - but I couldn't think of a better excuse to eat two large bars of Cadbury's turkish delight chocolate - all at one sitting...how self-indulgent !!!

Come on now.....

...Mr Weather...let's stop with this rain already!! Somebody I know is at Centerparks in this weather -they must be gutted.... how bad must that be? The BBC Weather website tells me that the temperature today in Weybridge is 18 degrees Centigrade. That must be Weybridge in some kind of parallel universe because in this here Weybridge it feels like about minus 2 :)

Great Book

For those of you who are even remotely interested in how people work - their actions and reactions to situations, other people, relationships, why they make the choices they do and how things happen in a people-orientated world - and how scientific theory relates to these matters....and whether the choices they make and the actions they take are under their control or not....I suggest you read this book. Written by Malcom Gladwell, Author of 'The Tipping Point'. It's very good indeed. It's written in an nice uncomplicated way so even blonde girls can understand it!!!!

A true friend....

...is someone who will get in their car at 9.30pm and drive to your house - stopping on the way to buy large chocolate bars..because they heard in your voice, on the 'phone, that your normal sunny disposition was wavering, your resolve was weakening, your inner strength was failing, your belief was deserting you and that you were - quite possibly - close to tears. Great friends are always there to pick you up when you fall and stumble a little. They make you laugh, give you strength, remind you of and re-inforce your beliefs, tell you how wonderful you are and that you deserve for everything to work in your favour...and make you believe it....put the kettle on and hand you a tissue. Thanks Jo xxx

Appalled and disgusted...

Today, in the newspaper there are reports about the G8 Summit currently taking place in the Windsor Hotel in Japan. World Leaders are there discussing and debating poverty, hunger, desease, childhood deaths in third world countries and world food shortages. Our Mr Brown is there along with Mr Bush and many others. The presidential suite is being used by one of 'World Leaders' at an obscene cost of £7K per night. The G8 Summit is costing £283 million - an amount which incidentally would purchase over 100 million mosquito nets.

While the World leaders are there, discussing an end to poverty and world hunger they will enjoy a banquet - a veritable feast of 19 dishes. Can you hear me? - I said NINETEEN dishes of no doubt, luxury food. They should be given one sodding bowl of rice and then made to walk seven miles in their bare feet to go and fetch a glass of water.

In my opinion - these 'compassionate' men - should be lined up against a wall and shot, and it should be hungry people who fire the bullets from the weapon.

How can they sanction this amazingly gob-smacking disparity and blatant waste of money and resources that would go so far to helping those in dire need. How many medicines could be bought with this money? How much food? How many shelters? How many wells? What a bunch of hypocritical greedy selfish wankers.

Top Gear Review

I love Top Gear - as anyone who is a regular reader knows. Tonight's episode was a classic all time great - nearly on a par with the funniest episode ever when they went away with the caravan (which eventually and unintentionally blew up). Very few television programmes can make me laugh out loud repeatedly when I'm in the house by myself - but tonight I was laughing all the way throughout the entire 8pm -9pm time slot.

It began witb Jezza wragging a £240K Brooklands Bentley around the race track and making more smoke from the tyres than Dumbledore would in a cauldron. He said it was like 'Powersliding a Georgian Tallboy'. When he shred the tyre his face was a picture and insisted it wasn't him that had done it. The he said "The Germans have overdone it again like they did on their french holiday in 1939" - Classic Jeremy Clarkson speak - he ought to write a whole new language. (make sure you join the Facebook group "Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister"...can you imagine how much fun life would be in Jezza were installed at No 10?)

Then they reviewed the new road signs - which very cleverly are lit by solar and wind power. They cost £10k each - but need an ordinary sign standing next to them for when it's dark / and / or not windy!!!!! About which his comment was 'We are being governed by imbeciles" - I couldn't agree more :)...then he rattled off a brilliantly funny precis of the Spanish people.

Next came the great £1000 Alfa Romeo challenge. After having been married to a man who owned an Alfa - I knew exactly where they were coming from with this. This was classic television. Part of the Challenge was to go to a race track and join with lots of other drivers pointlessly driving round and round a race track. None of the three Alphas were much good - and the three of them spent a while trying to unnerve the other drivers ...by making up imaginary problems and telling them fictitious stories about their cars...like expected fires and explosions and the like. James may kept repeatedly crashing into the kerb and eventually cracked and said 'Cock' on camera !!! Eventually they decided on the strategy of driving three abreast to prevent any other drivers overtaking them. Brutus Hammond and Cassius May finally overtook a Ford Focus - and then brakes failed and one of the Alphas ended up on its side.

Next they took them to a concourse competition - which is like a beauty pageant for cars. This involves having your car look as good as possible. Amongst many other really funny things Hammond used Jezza's leather jacket and a staple gun to recover his seats and then Jezza and Hammond grated cheese all over Richard's engine block!!! Richard's car kept breaking down so they towed it into the competition between the other two.

It really was very very funny - the three of them are like naughty schoolboys on a great adventure. Their enthusiasm for what they do is really infectious - that must really be the perfect job.

It also helps that I fancy the pants off Richard Hammond :)

Truly blessed

Dan has just 'phoned - just to a) remind me that Top Gear is on in a minute (I already have a post-it note on the TV) and b) to tell me that she loves me and misses me:)

I have just watched 'The Secret" again. So now, with all of that extra knowledge and the unswerving love of my daughter (which never changes - no matter what I do) I am inspired to do great things !!!

I am very fortunate and truly blessed xx

It's a Beautiful Day

This is one of my all time favourite Queen tracks - and I love it - especially on a day like today when the sun is shining!!!

...and this is another :)

Independence Day

Today is the 4th July. That means something to Americans everywhere!! Good for them!!! What does it mean for me? Well, today I'm off work so Milly and I are going to go to the park later to play - we love the park - there are lots of other nice people and nice dogs and we chat and Milly plays - actually I'd like to play too - but the tennis ball keeps falling out of my mouth!!! - ("What? even with the size of your mouth?")

Last night I watched a brilliant DVD called 'The Secret". Jo and Su were here too and we had chinese food and once Milly and Colin had stopped chasing each other round the living room we settled down to watch the DVD. Somebody had recommended it to me - and we weren't disappointed. It's not a normal movie - in that there's no story - but it's very good. It's not available in the shops - you have to order it. I ordered my copy (well actually I got two copies - one for a friend who I think might like it). It's very good and I would recommend it to anyone. It might not be your thing - but there's plenty to think about when you've watched it. When I began to look for it - it took me a day or two to locate it here in the UK - it's not for sale in HMV and I found it on the web here . I recommend it to everyone. Watch it and let me know what you think :)

UPDATE - 0912

Have just been for a lovely walk with Milly. The sun is shining and the birds are singing. I've seen and said a cheery hello to the postman, the milkman, a lady out with her two irish setters (lovely) another lady out on a run, and said hello to three builders who had no shirts on!!! I love Milly, and taking her for a walk always keeps me happy and seems to bring nice people my way :) Dogs are great xx

15.48

Have had a lovely day so far - much laughter and merry making with Jo (she should be working) and from now on she will be know as 'Sunshine Meadow Kemp" and apparently my new name is "Wonderful babbling Brook Wood" (please don't ask!!! - you would never understand the answer). I have had a delightful chat with a lovely friend, and been food shopping - and spent twice as much as I normally do - I just got carried away...everything looked so nice, and I was hungry and I couldn't decide what I wanted so I bought way too much and will probably put on a stone over the weekend!! I love it when my fridge is full!!!

Tomorrow I'm taking Millie to Richmond Park - which she loves and I've bought three books to read over the weekend. Oh yes - fresh bedlinen for tonight too...bliss bliss bliss bliss and much more blissx Happeeeeeeeeeee :)

20:45

...and finally I am now having a lovely dinner of fillet beef wellington - caesar salad, and then for dessert, fresh strawberries and raspberries and Madagscar Vanilla cream...oh my goodness...in the words of the Great Lou Reed...'it's such a perfect day'.

Plenty to do !!

At the moment I need to do lots of stuff to keep my mind occupied. There's lots of stuff to do. I'm not sleeping that well - it's too hot!! I'm saving up jobs and adding them to a list - but as yet I haven't done any of them!!! The way I think about is - if the jobs are still there tomorrow - if I need to keep busy tomorrow - I'll have plenty to do....(how's that for female logic?)....you should see the state of the place!!!

Blind as a bat!

A few days ago I realised that my eyes weren't working- despite wearing reading glasses - even with the specs I was struggling. Yesterday saw me going for another eye test only to find that instead of the normal quarter point change over the last twelve months, my eyes had altered by three quarter points in 9 months...I'm going to need a labrador and a white stick soon. So this morning I went to get some new specs. Now I'm £250 worse off but at least I can see again!! They're designer specs of course - Ted Baker - and very stylish (wouldn't expect anything less for a woman of my calibre) I can't actually see the designer logo - it's too small without my glasses. How bizarre - this time last week I was feeling 19 again - now I feel 90!!!

Formula 1 news - Just for Christian

The Ferrari formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity scheme and employ people from Liverpool. The decision to hire them followed a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of Euro's worth of high tech equipment.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari board which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour.

As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari thought they had the advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the first practice session, the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in less than 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to McLaren for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of smack and some photos of Hamilton's bird in the shower.

Nice Man on the Train

Yesterday - while on the train from Weybridge to London I met a very nice man. (This was before being groped by a not very nice man on the tube later). He asked if he could sit next to me even though there were vacant seats. He was from Canada and his name was Richard. He's staying in Weybridge for a few weeks while his 18 year old daughter settles over here. She's come here to work for the Summer before she goes to University here in October. So he decided to come with her and help her settle in and spend a few weeks exploring London and Surrey. He wanted to know how to get broadband installed for her in her little flat - so I think I pointed him in the right direction with that (not that I know very much about that kind of stuff - you just ring BT don't you?)

He also wanted to get away from the hot summer in Canada - and as I have a cousin who endures that every year I knew what he was talking about. I told him about lots of places to go and see / explore...some that are on the tourist trail and some that aren't.

Anyway - once we got to Waterloo - I helped him with the tube maps and he travelled part of the way with me.

He gave me his mobile number and has suggested that we meet up for coffee sometime next week and also asked me if I would go to the theatre with him and his daughter in the next couple of weeks - and which shows would be best to go and see. His daughter rides horses in Canada so I suggested that she might like to come and have a sit on Phoebe.

It's lovely to meet new people and it was just very nice to have a chat with somebody on the long and dull journey up to Waterloo - it will also be nice to have a new friend.

Today - I don't like London

Well - the trip up to town didn't go well. I set off from Weybridge at 3pm to get to the venue by 5.45pm. Needless to say it was further than I thought and I was late - and therefore they wouldn't let me sit the course. I now have to telephone tomorrow and grovel to book another appointment and I'm not entirely sure that's possible.

The worst thing was that some guy groped me on the tube. It was packed and just before this random 'low-life scum-bag' got off the train - he ran his hand right underneath me....exactly where it should never have been.... and then squeezed. By the time I realised what he had done he was off the train and away. Good job really because I would have twatted him if he'd have stayed in the vicinity. I was shocked and felt 'invaded' - so much so that I felt physically sick - and didn't even get a good look at him. So there you go - my first ever sexual assualt - Bastard:(

Safer Driving

This afternoon I have to make my way up to 'Town' to attend a 'Drivetch - Speed Awareness Scheme'. This is instead of getting points on my license - yes.. once again I was doing 35 in a 30 limit at 6.45am (who the hell can I kill at that time of day - the bloody milkman?). Apparently they show you video footage of mangled bodies and stuff to scare you. I will certainly faint.

I have been reliably informed that I am a good driver - somebody told me that just last week as it happens - but it's very difficult to stick to 30 when the roads are empty. I haven't had an accident for years (apart from the smash with doddery old gimmer last year -but that was SO NOT MY FAULT), so hopefully after this afternoon I will be an even better, safer driver. It doesn't really matter anyway as my car is huge and tough so if I do have an accident the other car is bound to come off worse!!!

It says on the instructions that there is no requirement to bring your vehicle. That's a shame - I was hoping they would teach me to drive like 'The Stig" I wonder if the lovely Richard Hammond will be there? I hope so xx

Waynetta!!!

Because I was asked (see comments on previous post) - I have uploaded the classy picture of Jo (aka Waynetta). Depending on how nicely she asks me and how much grovelling she does I may be persuaded to remove it. It depends entirely on the size of the bribe. What a class act!!!!

Barbecue

Last night I went round to Jo's for a barbecue. I took Millie to play with Colin. Here you can see Colin Lusting after Millie, and Millie doing that 'chase me' thing that girls are so good at!!! She's so bossy with him - poor Colin has his garden invaded, his toys knicked and then when he tries to play with Millie she just barks at him.



Here you can see Millie with Colin's rubber chicken (his favourite toy) and she's showing her breeding in that "I'm a terrier so I'll just break it's neck" way...which is usually reserved for Mum's knickers or newest shoes!! She has a rubber chicken of her own at home and just ignores it - never plays with it - but because this is Colin's rubber chicken it's the best thing ever!!!



And here you can clearly see what Colin thinks to that :)



Tim was there and Joseph, and then later Cressie came round too. I think Tim was meant to be doing the cooking (barbecue is cave man's work - all those flames and that freshly speared meat!!!) but as you can see he'd rather have a beer - so Jo did the cooking and the sausages weren't that badly burnt!!!