Thursday 31 July 2008
They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the rest room door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft engineers decide to copy the Apple engineers (as they always do) on the return trip and save some money.When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft engineer. "Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple engineer. When they board the train the three Microsoft engineers cram into a rest room and the three Apple engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Apple engineers leaves his rest room and walks over to the rest room where the Microsoft employees are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."
Wednesday 30 July 2008
My heart broke for this guy. There was I - feeling sorry for myself - just about to go and spend a couple of quid on a take-away coffee (self -indulgent) and this chap hadn't had a good meal or a bath in ages.
There are some people who would say he was a scrounger, or a drug addict, or a homeless tramp, or an alcoholic - but I saw somebody's son, somebody's brother, somebody's grandson who had probably taken the wrong path, and couldn't find his way back on to the correct one. When he was a little boy - he probably wanted to be an astronaut or a footballer, or something equally fantastic. I wonder what had pushed him to where he is now? Maybe a hard childhood, a bad relationship, possible mental illness - it could be anything. Who is to know? All I know when I see people like that - who are clearly in a very hard place - is that getting there would never have been their intention. Things happen to people and they sometimes don't have the emotional strength or intellectual energy to fix things. Depression and / or addiction is often the result, and that can be almost impossible to get away from.
There but for the Grace of God goes every single one of us....and I, for one, am extremely thankful for all I have.
Tuesday 29 July 2008
Sunday 27 July 2008
Later in the afternoon I drove to Portsmouth to see an old friend who used to be in Cyprus with me when I was in the army over there in 1984 and 1985. It was lovely to meet up with Nicky again and her two little girls, Phoebe and Lucy. We went out for a meal and then came back home and dragged out the photographs. We used to be in the Theatre Group together (oh so hammy!) and there were loads of photographs to look at. I haven't laughed so much in ages...what were we thinking!!!! I recognised so many people in those pictures that I haven't thought about for years - people that I spent many good times with - when we were young and so carefree. I've said this before - I loved my time in the army - it was probably the best time of my life, and living in Cyprus for 2 years was the tops.
It was so good to catch up - and now we're back in contact we'll be seeing each other regularly!!!!
Tuesday 22 July 2008
Monday 21 July 2008
Sunday 20 July 2008
We were talking about the things that girls talk about when we talk about men, and what you're meant to do with them:) If you're a man - you won't know what on earth I'm on about here - but if you're a girl you'll know exactly what I mean...and very very funny it was too. We had a lovely time, with a great deal of stomach aching laughter That's something that you only really get when you're out with the girls - sorry guys :( but laughing with you is different (just as good - but different).
Top Gear has just been on - and it was a fantastic episode. I especially liked the hunting feature - well I would - wouldn't I? I used to follow the hunt when they hunted real foxes....(please don't be offended - each to their own...let's not get into any kind of heated debate regarding the merits or not of fox-hunting...that one's been done to death and as yet there is no agreement).... I was convinced that the Hamster was going to fall off seeing as he'd never jumped over fences before - but he didn't - very impressive!!!
Before we went out to Lunch Jo and I had half an hour trying on outfits for a specific occasion later in the week. I was trying on and she was grading....hot, or not so hot. We finally decided on an outfit that is hot. I haven't tried on clothes with a girlfriend's advice since I was a teenager!!!
Work tomorrow - Boo Hiss - so off now for an early night with a good book (how are you spelling that?)
I had dropped my truck off at the car valeting place just around the corner, so on the way out of Tesco I had to negotiate all the traffic entering and leaving the car park (whoever designed Tesco carpark at Brooklands clearly had some hankering to be a Formula 1 racing driver...all twists and turns). I nearly got run over about three times and each time it happened I just laughed even more. I am convinced that they now have me on CCTV grinning like an idiot, dodging traffic, and laughing like a maniacal pre-menopausal tart. Marry that with driving through the barrier at Staines last week - and you could be forgiven for reaching the conclusion that I should maybe go and see someone:)
I've always suspected that I am bit barking (no comments please...Christian) but I think this morning it is now officially confirmed.
Saturday 19 July 2008
Now I'm just about to go and ride my beautiful horse. Then I'm calling for an Indian take-away - an early night I think and tomorrow we're off out for a boozy girl's Sunday lunch...yippee!!!!
Thursday 17 July 2008
I was 16 (do the math) and some of the things I got up to would make a nun blush!!! My parents had a pub in a mining village (before the demise of the British Coal Mining Industry) and the pub was full every night with young lads who all had money to burn. At one point I had three boyfriends and none of them knew about each other. My friend Gill (who I met when I worked for the Midland Bank) and I used to go out every night and never spend any money - but we used to come home quite tiddly!!! They were such good times and I remember them with great fondness. I also had a part time job in another pub in town - and the manager of the pub was a CB radio enthusiast. I have spent a few nights sat in a car at Woolley Edge services having random CB radio conversations with total losers...what was I thinking? The song I remember best from that particular time is "Betty Davies Eyes" by Kim Carnes. Also some "Squeeze" tracks...'Up the Junction' especially, and Police's "Message in a Bottle" and "Roxanne". Great times :) It's definitely that 'music memories' thing happening again. Don't you just love that?
Wednesday 16 July 2008
Tuesday 15 July 2008
Monday 14 July 2008
Sunday 13 July 2008
When we arrived at our destination I took the helmet off and my hair wasn't ruined - Bonus!!!!
We went to biker's cafe at Box Hill in Surrey and there where about 300 people there and about 200 bikes. Bike people are all ages, all shapes and sizes and all really friendly. There were scarey hell's angles types chatting to people who appeared to be Bank manager types - what a laugh!!! I had a ball. Some of the bikes were truly beautiful - there were some that were just works of art on two wheels. I may sell my horse and buy a bike!!!
I can't wait to do it again - but next time it has to be with the right man - and it has to be the Kawasaki ZX9R.
Isn't it funny how time passes? We're told that it passes at the same rate no matter what. But that's not true - just ask any child who is waiting for Christmas!! When you're waiting for something time drags its feet - and when you're having fun - it pops on its Nike trainers and veritably sprints by. So - when you're waiting for something - I think the answer is to try and have fun - that way the time slow / fast thing balances itself out........with me so far?
So fun, then, is the order of the day. Today I am going out with a male friend to Box Hill (which thankfully is not that far!) on the back of his motorbike for a bacon sandwich - that should be fun...right? (that's if I don't fall off!!). The motorbike is a CBR 900RR Fireblade and is the wrong bike because it belongs to completely the wrong person - there's someone else's motorbike that I would far rather be getting onto the back of...but we're having fun so that the time passes quicker. When the time has passed - maybe I'll get to go on the right motorbike - which is a Kawasaki ZX9R (what is this thing with 900cc motorbikes and guys in their late forties?...is it a re-discovering your youth mission?) and belongs to completely the right person. Here's hoping !!!!
Last night after a fun afternoon at Jo's - where there was a street party - I watched this movie. If you haven't seen it - I would say don't bother. I was told it was really scarey - but it isn't. There wasn't much of a story line to it - in fact all in all it was pretty crap. The female lead character (played by a very one dimensional and wooden "I couldn't act my way out of a paper bag" Demi-Moore) was called 'Tracy'. Even that wasn't enough to turn it into a good movie. I don't even rate Kevin Costner much anymore. All in all a big disappointment, and a waste of two hours of my time.
Friday 11 July 2008
Update - 10pm - well that's another 2 hour telephone conversation done!!! It's so great to reminisce about my Army Days. Nicky, my friend - was the first friend I made when I arrived in Cyprus all alone back in September 1984. We had so much fun together. When she got married I was her bridesmaid and she repaid the favour for me. We were in the theatre group together and we have just been crying with laughter at some of the things we got up to during our two years together at 9 Signal Regiment In Ayios Nikolaos from 1984 until 1986. I'm meeting up with her in Portsmouth in two weeks time. Can't wait :)
Last night I went out for dinner with Jo - and had a very nice lamb shank...(have just read that back and I hope that nobody misconstrues what I'm saying!!!...or is that 'ham shank'?) with mash potato. Jo told me about some music tracks that she loves and that mean a lot to her. So when I got home I bought them from itunes (bargain at 79p each) and listened to them. 'Hurt' by Christina Aguilera, 'How come the world won't stop turning' by Anastastasia, and also 'The Blower's Daughter' by Damien Rice. I really like all three of them. Listen to them and let me know what you think. I would post them on here but I haven't yet figured out how to do that...I'm not even sure if you can ...Christian?
Yesterday I also had a go at writing some poetry...but that's something I need to practice more at :)
Thursday 10 July 2008
Wednesday 9 July 2008
The Bonnet of my new car is quite badly scratched - add that to the bad front wing scratches that I did the other week- what a tit I am!!
Update Sunday 13th
Have just had a message from Emma via facebook and she says that the barrier has been put back on - it's just a bit bent!!!! Hilarious!!
chocolate when it's raining....!!!
Well - lets be honest here - she loves chocolate at any time - whatever the weather - but I couldn't think of a better excuse to eat two large bars of Cadbury's turkish delight chocolate - all at one sitting...how self-indulgent !!!
Tuesday 8 July 2008
For those of you who are even remotely interested in how people work - their actions and reactions to situations, other people, relationships, why they make the choices they do and how things happen in a people-orientated world - and how scientific theory relates to these matters....and whether the choices they make and the actions they take are under their control or not....I suggest you read this book. Written by Malcom Gladwell, Author of 'The Tipping Point'. It's very good indeed. It's written in an nice uncomplicated way so even blonde girls can understand it!!!!
While the World leaders are there, discussing an end to poverty and world hunger they will enjoy a banquet - a veritable feast of 19 dishes. Can you hear me? - I said NINETEEN dishes of no doubt, luxury food. They should be given one sodding bowl of rice and then made to walk seven miles in their bare feet to go and fetch a glass of water.
In my opinion - these 'compassionate' men - should be lined up against a wall and shot, and it should be hungry people who fire the bullets from the weapon.
How can they sanction this amazingly gob-smacking disparity and blatant waste of money and resources that would go so far to helping those in dire need. How many medicines could be bought with this money? How much food? How many shelters? How many wells? What a bunch of hypocritical greedy selfish wankers.
Sunday 6 July 2008
It began witb Jezza wragging a £240K Brooklands Bentley around the race track and making more smoke from the tyres than Dumbledore would in a cauldron. He said it was like 'Powersliding a Georgian Tallboy'. When he shred the tyre his face was a picture and insisted it wasn't him that had done it. The he said "The Germans have overdone it again like they did on their french holiday in 1939" - Classic Jeremy Clarkson speak - he ought to write a whole new language. (make sure you join the Facebook group "Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister"...can you imagine how much fun life would be in Jezza were installed at No 10?)
Then they reviewed the new road signs - which very cleverly are lit by solar and wind power. They cost £10k each - but need an ordinary sign standing next to them for when it's dark / and / or not windy!!!!! About which his comment was 'We are being governed by imbeciles" - I couldn't agree more :)...then he rattled off a brilliantly funny precis of the Spanish people.
Next came the great £1000 Alfa Romeo challenge. After having been married to a man who owned an Alfa - I knew exactly where they were coming from with this. This was classic television. Part of the Challenge was to go to a race track and join with lots of other drivers pointlessly driving round and round a race track. None of the three Alphas were much good - and the three of them spent a while trying to unnerve the other drivers ...by making up imaginary problems and telling them fictitious stories about their cars...like expected fires and explosions and the like. James may kept repeatedly crashing into the kerb and eventually cracked and said 'Cock' on camera !!! Eventually they decided on the strategy of driving three abreast to prevent any other drivers overtaking them. Brutus Hammond and Cassius May finally overtook a Ford Focus - and then brakes failed and one of the Alphas ended up on its side.
Next they took them to a concourse competition - which is like a beauty pageant for cars. This involves having your car look as good as possible. Amongst many other really funny things Hammond used Jezza's leather jacket and a staple gun to recover his seats and then Jezza and Hammond grated cheese all over Richard's engine block!!! Richard's car kept breaking down so they towed it into the competition between the other two.
It really was very very funny - the three of them are like naughty schoolboys on a great adventure. Their enthusiasm for what they do is really infectious - that must really be the perfect job.
It also helps that I fancy the pants off Richard Hammond :)
I have just watched 'The Secret" again. So now, with all of that extra knowledge and the unswerving love of my daughter (which never changes - no matter what I do) I am inspired to do great things !!!
I am very fortunate and truly blessed xx
Saturday 5 July 2008
Friday 4 July 2008
Last night I watched a brilliant DVD called 'The Secret". Jo and Su were here too and we had chinese food and once Milly and Colin had stopped chasing each other round the living room we settled down to watch the DVD. Somebody had recommended it to me - and we weren't disappointed. It's not a normal movie - in that there's no story - but it's very good. It's not available in the shops - you have to order it. I ordered my copy (well actually I got two copies - one for a friend who I think might like it). It's very good and I would recommend it to anyone. It might not be your thing - but there's plenty to think about when you've watched it. When I began to look for it - it took me a day or two to locate it here in the UK - it's not for sale in HMV and I found it on the web here . I recommend it to everyone. Watch it and let me know what you think :)
UPDATE - 0912
Have just been for a lovely walk with Milly. The sun is shining and the birds are singing. I've seen and said a cheery hello to the postman, the milkman, a lady out with her two irish setters (lovely) another lady out on a run, and said hello to three builders who had no shirts on!!! I love Milly, and taking her for a walk always keeps me happy and seems to bring nice people my way :) Dogs are great xx
Have had a lovely day so far - much laughter and merry making with Jo (she should be working) and from now on she will be know as 'Sunshine Meadow Kemp" and apparently my new name is "Wonderful babbling Brook Wood" (please don't ask!!! - you would never understand the answer). I have had a delightful chat with a lovely friend, and been food shopping - and spent twice as much as I normally do - I just got carried away...everything looked so nice, and I was hungry and I couldn't decide what I wanted so I bought way too much and will probably put on a stone over the weekend!! I love it when my fridge is full!!!
Tomorrow I'm taking Millie to Richmond Park - which she loves and I've bought three books to read over the weekend. Oh yes - fresh bedlinen for tonight too...bliss bliss bliss bliss and much more blissx Happeeeeeeeeeee :)
...and finally I am now having a lovely dinner of fillet beef wellington - caesar salad, and then for dessert, fresh strawberries and raspberries and Madagscar Vanilla cream...oh my goodness...in the words of the Great Lou Reed...'it's such a perfect day'.
Thursday 3 July 2008
Wednesday 2 July 2008
Prime Minister Gordon Brown went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari board which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour.
As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari thought they had the advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the first practice session, the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in less than 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to McLaren for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of smack and some photos of Hamilton's bird in the shower.
He also wanted to get away from the hot summer in Canada - and as I have a cousin who endures that every year I knew what he was talking about. I told him about lots of places to go and see / explore...some that are on the tourist trail and some that aren't.
Anyway - once we got to Waterloo - I helped him with the tube maps and he travelled part of the way with me.
He gave me his mobile number and has suggested that we meet up for coffee sometime next week and also asked me if I would go to the theatre with him and his daughter in the next couple of weeks - and which shows would be best to go and see. His daughter rides horses in Canada so I suggested that she might like to come and have a sit on Phoebe.
It's lovely to meet new people and it was just very nice to have a chat with somebody on the long and dull journey up to Waterloo - it will also be nice to have a new friend.
Tuesday 1 July 2008
The worst thing was that some guy groped me on the tube. It was packed and just before this random 'low-life scum-bag' got off the train - he ran his hand right underneath me....exactly where it should never have been.... and then squeezed. By the time I realised what he had done he was off the train and away. Good job really because I would have twatted him if he'd have stayed in the vicinity. I was shocked and felt 'invaded' - so much so that I felt physically sick - and didn't even get a good look at him. So there you go - my first ever sexual assualt - Bastard:(
I have been reliably informed that I am a good driver - somebody told me that just last week as it happens - but it's very difficult to stick to 30 when the roads are empty. I haven't had an accident for years (apart from the smash with doddery old gimmer last year -but that was SO NOT MY FAULT), so hopefully after this afternoon I will be an even better, safer driver. It doesn't really matter anyway as my car is huge and tough so if I do have an accident the other car is bound to come off worse!!!
It says on the instructions that there is no requirement to bring your vehicle. That's a shame - I was hoping they would teach me to drive like 'The Stig" I wonder if the lovely Richard Hammond will be there? I hope so xx
Because I was asked (see comments on previous post) - I have uploaded the classy picture of Jo (aka Waynetta). Depending on how nicely she asks me and how much grovelling she does I may be persuaded to remove it. It depends entirely on the size of the bribe. What a class act!!!!
Last night I went round to Jo's for a barbecue. I took Millie to play with Colin. Here you can see Colin Lusting after Millie, and Millie doing that 'chase me' thing that girls are so good at!!! She's so bossy with him - poor Colin has his garden invaded, his toys knicked and then when he tries to play with Millie she just barks at him.
Here you can see Millie with Colin's rubber chicken (his favourite toy) and she's showing her breeding in that "I'm a terrier so I'll just break it's neck" way...which is usually reserved for Mum's knickers or newest shoes!! She has a rubber chicken of her own at home and just ignores it - never plays with it - but because this is Colin's rubber chicken it's the best thing ever!!!
And here you can clearly see what Colin thinks to that :)
Tim was there and Joseph, and then later Cressie came round too. I think Tim was meant to be doing the cooking (barbecue is cave man's work - all those flames and that freshly speared meat!!!) but as you can see he'd rather have a beer - so Jo did the cooking and the sausages weren't that badly burnt!!!
Today I'm going somewhere but I can't say where. "Shim shams for Meddlers" my Mum would say. Whenever we asked a 'nose...
Yesterday I went on an adventure to Cambridge. I've never been so I though I would (go, I mean). Anyway it rained - a lot - but I had a ...
Some days I could just scream. Really. Some days I could bash my head against a wall until I go dizzy. Some days I could cheerfully hit some...