Friday 30 April 2010

Great Weekend Afoot

I am so excited....I have a great weekend planned.....

Tonight I'm going out with Jayne for a few sherberts and a wander down Ecclesall Road - which is the place to be on a Friday night. Tomorrow I'm painting my house railings during the day (I know that's not exciting - but it kind of is because it means I am one step nearer to moving back in). Tomorrow night has two events.....firstly I am off to the 'Rising Sun' (venue of many a drunken night with Christian, Victoria and Helen in years gone by) to meet up with Stewart, Bruce and Matt. I went to school with these boys - and was a honorary member of their gang. There were about 7 of us in total and I was the only girl. We were seriously into rock music...bands like Thin Lizzy, Van Halen and Utopia, and we used to spend all our spare time together. When I moved back to Sheffield in 1991 we got back in touch - and once again I was the girl in the boys gang. I bumped into Stewart the other night in a restaurant and he invited me on their boys night out on Saturday. I'm sure it won't be as rowdy as our past nights out have been (we once left Matt asleep in a skip because he was so drunk we couldn't get him home - and it was December...I'm surprised he didn't die)...(and then there was the party in a flat where I was so drunk I fell down a fire escape, stood up and walked straight back in and had another broken injuries at all!!) but it's bound to be fun - and then later tomorrow night Fiona and I are going to Pete's 50th Birthday at the 'Three Merry Lads'. Pete has been a pal for ages - and we'll be dancing - no doubt at all x

Then on Sunday - my lovely pal Liz is calling somewhere near here for a meet up on her way home from the North East.

I'll be knackered by Sunday night! But it's going to be great!

Food Bill

This article from the Guardian lists some of the MP's expenses claims (remember that? I know it's been a bit overshadowed during recent days...what with Leader's debates and Mrs Duffy and all)....have a look - there's nothing massively shocking on there - however I wasn't aware that MPs are allowed up to £400 per month for food! Wouldn't they need to eat whatever job they were doing and where ever they are sleeping? Doesn't make sense to me......In any job I've ever had (and word .... I've had a few) I've never been able to claim for scran - unless I've been entertaining. It seems that the MPs can claim for supermarket shopping! What a great thing!!! I'm glad that they're all well fed :) After all they need to keep their strength up.

Interestingly - £100 per week is more than most people who claim benefits get in total - for food, heating, lighting and all their living expenses...(not including rent of course)...and I'm not saying I condone living on benefits - it's just that the difference in what is okay for some folks to live on and buy food, and what others get is a bit ironic.

Thursday 29 April 2010

Airport run

Today I'm off to the, I'm not jetting off anywhere - I'm taking Julian so he can catch his flight back to the diving world of Gozo. Lucky bugger. He's been here for four days - and it's been fun :) I've known Julian since I was 30 - (that's a whole 17 years) and he's always been a lovely chap. He was one of my husband's best friends - and was always out in the pub when we used to go there (every night of the week). He's always cheerful and up beat - never complains about anything and is very very funny. I had a great time diving with him when I was in Gozo earlier this year and It's been lovely to see him again over the last few days. It will be sad to wave him off today......I'll miss him.

More Family Photos

Somebody should tell this little girl that it is never okay to touch Daddy's penis - no matter what fabric it's made of.....

Seriously - what is that on the far right?

After my post about the Graham Norton Show and the included link to Embarrassing Family Photos, my brother sent me some more. These two made me laugh out loud...a lot. So I thought I would share them with you.!


I should have known it wasn't going to go well when he text me to say I would know who he was as he was wearing a daffodil. It never occurred to me that he might be Welsh. He certainly didn't sound Welsh when we chatted on the 'phone. Anyway - he was - Welsh I mean - (not wearing a Daffodil). No offence to the Welsh - but they're a bit odd aren't they? (Must be all those sheep).

In person he did sound a bit Welsh - mind you most of the accent had been knocked off after 20 years of working as a Consultant in Sheffield's Northern General Hospital - a Doctor you see - no bin men for this girl...Oh no!

Anyway - enough of that - there's something about the Welsh which just simply doesn't appeal. I'm not sure what it is - but my anti-Welsh feelings were just re-inforced :) Bigoted? Racist? Worried about burning holiday cottages? All possible.

....And he had this annoying habit that some people have when they have a little phrase that they keep on repeating over and over and over again.

On a plus point he did know three chaps who I went to school with who have since become Doctors. Small world. Will I be seeing him again? No, I'll leave him to Blodwyn.

Wednesday 28 April 2010

...and today's score is....

Mrs Duffy 1 - Gordon Brown 0

The moral of the story is 'Always make sure your microphone is switched off'......(see it here)

What a cock!...and for the first time in weeks Cameron doesn't feel it necessary to comment!!! You couldn't make this stuff up.

Can somebody tell Gordon which way it is to the Job Centre?

Tuesday 27 April 2010


I love my Mum...make no mistake about it. But (and this is only a small 'but') she's very noisy. Right now she's washing a few pots in the little kitchen - and she's crashing and banging about like a demon. It's like there's a poltergeist in there - I kid you not. She is a bit deaf so maybe she's doing it loudly so she can hear herself - or maybe (and this is more likely) she's doing that 'I'm doing the dishes whilst you're sat on your fat arse messing around on t'internet' thing'. Now she's come back in and has put the telly on, and turned it up right loud! Last week she was away for seven whole days and the peace and quiet was absolutely lovely!

I am ready now to move back into my house x

Monday 26 April 2010

Awkward Family Photos

I've just been watching the Graham Norton Show. Very funny indeed. He referred to this website. The picture scrolling arrows are on the left and right just underneath the title bar. Enjoy!

What a smashing day!

Well....I've had a lovely day. I pottered around a bit this morning - washing...ironing...walking the dog...that kind of thing. Then I popped out to meet yet another chap (God loves a person who keeps on trying!)...and guess what? I actually liked him. Yes, I know, I know...I had decided to put a halt to the dating website thingy - but this chap sent me a few emails last week and I thought it would be rude to ignore him. Anyway - I really quite liked him. We stayed there in the coffee shop chatting for two and half hours - so I think he liked me too. Usually after 45 minutes I am desperate to escape - but today I was happy to stay. I don't know if he'll call again - but that's not the point - the point is that I finally felt something. He made me laugh, he was a bit interesting...and as an added bonus he turned up on a huge sexy Aprilia. I'd quite forgotten how much I like big motorbikes...but well - I would get on the back of his bike anytime!

I did the mental test - which is the questions "Would I?", "Could I?" and finally "Should I?" and surprisingly - after weeks of resounding "NO's" today I would have answered a tentative "Maybe"!

Anyway - I hope he calls me again - I'll keep you updated :)

Tonight I have been out for supper with lovely lovely Julian who is over on a flying visit from Gozo, and I met his two daughters who were also very lovely. We had a really good laugh over Pizza and Pasta, and a few bevvies in 'The Stag' afterwards.

So - it's been sunny, I actually liked a chap, and I ate amongst lovely friends. Doesn't get much better than that x

Oooooohhh.......brilliant x

Chuffing hell - there is quite a lot of good stuff on here. I'd forgotten most of what I've ever written. Please indulge me and go back and look at this. It's bloody awesome. It should be printed and stuck to your fridge door. That Mandella bloke isn't half amazing.

Search Engine Report

I have a blog report nowadays. It tells me when somebody finds my blog via 'Google' what search phrase they put into the search engine. It's quite cool! A lot of readers simply search for 'Tracy's World' which is pretty straight forward - but some people hit upon my blog through random chance searches for something quite different. Today for example somebody searched for "Ladies handcuffs" (what a kinky fetish loving hero!) and Google took them they were gutted! Somebody else searched for 'ripped jeans porno' and ended up here.....which must have been a huge disappointment! Can you imagine - the poor chap sits himself down at his PC with a box of tissues all sorted out for a bit of five knuckle shuffle and he ends up reading my blog!! I am still waiting for somebody to randomly hit this post because that would be some kind of kinky search engine phrase!!! Love it.....

Sunday 25 April 2010


Tonight I have watched at TV drama on the BBC about the Ipswich prositute murders in the 1990's. It made me think. It made me re-think about a half-plan I formulated about a year ago. I would like to start some kind of charity to help working girls. I am not entirely sure how that help would manifest itself - more research required on what would actually help - nobody appreciates some sanctimonious twat telling you what it is you need...when you are actually crying out for something else. My date tomorrow is a Director of a charity - so I may well pick his brains.

We are only here on this planet for a short time - and I think at this time in my life it may be a good idea to give something back. I've had a nice comfortable life (mostly) and it would be good to do some good.

I'll think about it some more and come back to you when I have the basis of an idea.

Look at the time - it's time for bed - that's what I mean you see - I am about to climb into bed in a warm home where I will be safe until morning. Lots of people don't have that basic luxury of sleeping in a warm bed in a safe place. Maybe we (and when I say 'we' I actually mean 'I'...I am not expecting anybody to join in!) should be helping them?


Jayne told me that last week she had read my entire blog from start to finish. That's more than four years worth of random ramblings about utter nonsense. She was extremely complimentary about it. For that - I am grateful and pleased. I am cheered by the thought that my fans enjoy reading my inane twitterings and musings on diverse subjects.

Tonight I had some free time so I decided to read back through some of the stuff I have scribed. I particularly enjoyed this post because in recent times I had forgotten how to be a PSD. Now that I have read it I am utterly convinced that it is the way forward - so boys - you'd better get ready!

Alan Sillitoe

Alan Sillitoe has died today. Who's he? He's the author that wrote 'Saturday Night and Sunday Morning' which is a great book and a fabulous film. It's a 1960's B&W kitchen sink drama starring Albert Finney.... and I first watched it when I was about ten years old - obviously I didn't understand the film then - but since then I've seen it about another ten times and it's very good indeed. I got a copy of it on DVD just last year and it belongs in 'my best movies of all time' shelf.  He also wrote 'The loneliness of the long distance runner' which is also extremely good. If you haven't seen this film I suggest you get hold of a copy and watch it. It's truly excellent.

Another great movie if you enjoy 'Saturday Night and Sunday Morning' is 'Spring & Port Wine' which is of the same genre (but not written by Sillitoe).

What a great day!

I've had a lovely day today. Most of it spent blethering on the dog and bone. I went out for full english with Jacqui this morning, and a lovely wander round the garden centre where I got a bit excited about being able to get something done in my pretty little garden at the cottage in the next few weeks. (Sad but true). Tomorrow I'm going to go and paint the railings! Hammerite covers all rust apparently - so that'll be great! I've nattered with Trish, Dennis, Lisa, Dan, Chesney...all of course wanting to know if I'm still at large or if I've been arrested yet - 'No' is the answer - not yet - I am still at liberty - but you never know your luck in a raffle :) Do watch this space for updates!

I have completed the knowledge reviews and Q&A section for my Deep Diver (40m) course - so only 4 deep dives to do now - and that should be in the next couple of weeks...and then I'll have yet another qualification and another badge and certificate. I think I should have been a fish :)

My lovely cousin Richard has run the London Marathon today and got a very respectable time - and all he suffered was a torn off toenail - I say 'all'...actually it sounds a bit painful - and when I texted my congratulations to him earlier he replied telling me he was sitting in an ice - why would you do that? I'd be in the pub on my fourteenth G&T.

Tonight I was called by a chap from the dreaded dating website - and we got on famously on the phone - an hour and a half chatting! I'm off to meet him tomorrow - so we'll see what happens there. If the 'phone call was anything to go by he might be quite nice.

I am also excited because Julian is on his way here from Gozo for the week - on an aeroplane as we type this - so no doubt there will be some fun and frivolity involved when we catch up for dinner later in the week ;)

And then - just now I have noticed comments on here from an old school friend who lives in France - how absolutely lovely. Hopefully to become another avid reader - and when she next visits no doubt we'll get together......Alright Sarah? Yoo Hoo!

Anyone have a spare nail?

For want of a nail, the horseshoe was lost
For want of a shoe, the horse was lost
For want of a horse, the soldier was lost
For want of a soldier, the battle was lost
For want of the battle, the war was lost
For want of a war, the Kingdom was lost

(Small things can make a big difference - never underestimate your importance in the grand scheme of things :) )

Saturday 24 April 2010

Law Lecture

There are laws in our country - and the purpose of them is protect the general public. That's a good thing. No question. One law in particular is about protection from harrassment. When laws are written sometimes they need tweaking - and over a few years (the legal system grinds slowly...very slowly)  they are tweaked and eventually we have something that is workable, and does what it says on the tin. The Protection of Harrasment Act (1997) was written to give people some immediate redress in a situation where they are GENUINELY in fear. I have been on the end of domestic violence and it's something that I feel extremely strongly about. My husband (no 2) bullied and terrorised me in my own home ...this culminated in him battering me with a heavy cast iron frying pan and causing a serious injury. At the time there was no PFH act and I had to use every tool that the law had available, and invoke every clause to assure protection for myself and my then small daughter. Luckily I had the help of a very caring solicitor who advised me and told me what to do to protect myself, and eventually my then husband was convicted of Actual Bodily Harm. To be on the end of domestic violence and to be in total , complete and utter fear of your life is not funny...not bloody funny at all. I am not ashamed to tell you that when I was laying on the floor and he was raining the blows down on me I thought I was going to be killed and I actually wet myself. Please don't ever underestimate the severity of domestic violence. It's about cowardice, control, manipluation and fear. It is awful - bloody's often silent and back in the 90's it was so very very difficult for the victim to get any help and support that was effective. At the time I was a Law student, and had a pal who was a Magistrate - and I had a brain in my head and even with all of that on my side I STILL STRUGGLED MASSIVELY TO the garner the protection that Danielle and I needed.

Times change and things progress, and now we have the PHA (1997). It's purpose as I said it to protect people. It has the much needed features which enable a victim - with the help of the police - to gain some level of protection within a very short time from somebody who is intent on causing them harm. That's a good thing. A very good thing indeed.

However - because it's a relatively new law (I know 13 years is a long time - but the legal machine really does move very slowly), and things take a long time to change......and also because for it to be effective quickly it needs to emcompass all kinds of scenarios - it is very generally written. That's good because it means that the protection it offers is available to more people in more situations. However the downside of this is that it can be abused.

This is how it works. If you want to you can make a statement to the Police about somebody harassing you, causing you distress and fear. The police then have to take action. They have to go to the other person and ask them to read and sign Part One papers. This means that they acknowledge that a complaint has been made against them. They are not allowed to see the other person's statement - or to know what it is they are supposed to have done. Effectively this means that if somebody is feeling spiteful and malevolant towards you - they can make a statement - and you will get a visit from the Bablyon. When you are asked to sign the Part One papers - you are assured that you aren't being accused of anything - you're not in any trouble - just that someone has made a complaint, and if you don't sign - they will take further action. Bit of a no brainer really. The police don't even ask you if what the other person has accused you of is true. There is no caution, no interview...nothing. It's simple, easy to use and should have immediate results. Everybody wins.

You can see how this would be a good thing - it's a warning shot across your bow. 'Look Mr Bully - your Missus has complained that you've been a bit of a twat with your fists and your gob after a few sherberts and we just want you to know that we know about it and we're onto you and if you do it again you'll be in some serious shite'. Might possible cause Mr Bully to not batter Mrs Bully again, and make him think twice. Saves the NHS a fortune and the Police don't have to wait forever to be able to protect Mrs Bully in the future. Mr and Mrs Bully might even work it all out, live happily ever after...not become another statistic and save the council a fortune on housing's cheaper for two people to be claiming rent on one house than on two - you see everybody wins. All makes perfect sense to me. The CPS won't run up a huge bill trying to prosecute Mr Bully, and then have to drop the case because Mrs Bully realises that she loves him after all and forgives him and retracts her statement. Please don't laugh at this because the facts are that a woman has to be seriously hurt by her partner SEVEN times before she will finally take action against him. The police and the Courts are well aware of this - the costs and time involved are extensive and quite frankly they get fed up of trying to protect women who are stuck in some kind of (understandable) victim cycle. The psychology of domestic abuse is extremely complicated. Do some reading about's a massively interesting subject with many angles and issues.

The PHA was written with genuine victims in mind, and with a view to prevent drastic situations becoming more drastic. There is also another angle - which is the serious matter of stalking. We all remember Jill Dando - and there is nothing funny about stalkers and sick people preying upon and causing genuine fear and distress. People who do that kind of thing are ill and need help - but their 'victims' need protection - however I'm not entirely sure how effective the PHA act is in that sphere. I don't think it would really have helped Jill Dando? do you? If a nutter is going to kill you - getting them to sign a piece of paper two weeks before hand probably isn't going to work......? Perhaps there's an element in there too of 'Crime clear up rates' to be considered. The police just have to have a chat with someone, get them to sign their little form, and they get another tick in their box...perhaps I'm being cynical. Issue dealt with...job let's go and get a cup of tea.

The point is that all laws are open to abuse, especially newer pieces of legislation that are loosely written. You have to balance the effectiveness in terms of the protection it affords to those genuinely in need against the worry of the law being abused. In time the legislation will be tightened up and it will be better at doing exactly what it was originally written for - which is to provide protection for people who are genuinely at risk. GENUINELY - AT - RISK. Meanwhile we wait - and hope that most people understand all that is outlined above. We hope that most people would never abuse a piece of legislation in any kind of way. We hope that most people would never be so selfish, and stupid and short sighted as to take up resources, waste police time and try to use this act to cause a hassle or inconvenience to another person, over something trivial and banal -  (can I have my Carpet cleaner back please?) Because if that happens - what the result will be is this ......the Act will be (in time) altered. It will be changed to give less protection to those who need it. It will no longer be a workable fast solution for those of us who have at some point in the past - or in the future - desperately need some protection.

How dare anybody abuse this law? How dare anybody take away resources from people who genuinely need them? Every time you call the police or have them visit you in your comfortable home counties detached stone house...over some imagined and ridiculous affront to your over inflated ridiculous middle-aged are stealing those resources that are intended for Cathy, or Sue, or Dawn or any of the one hundred women who are killed...(oh actually let's not use the word 'killed'..let's say it as it really is...'Murdered')... each and every year in this country by their partners in a domestic violence situation. What if that were your daughter - would you be feeling quite so smug and self satisfied now?...and make no mistake about it - it could easily be your daughter - because domestic violence knows no class distinctions or boundaries - it happens in council flats and it happens just the same in mansions.  Imagine how you would feel if there was no officer available to go and protect your daughter when her husband is smacking the crap out of her because they're too busy taking a statement from somebody who has over-exaggerated some kind of concocted over imagined and vastly inflated tale of woe? I think you might just be a tiny bit pissed off?

It happens to women with degrees in high flying subjects just as it happens to women who shelf stack at Tesco. It is universal in its appeal.

If you abuse this law - and use it to achieve  your own ends - wrongly - and in a situation where you are motivated by anger and revenge - you will have the blood of EVERY VICTIM of domestic violence on your hands. You will have every small child who has ever witnessed or heard their Mum being battered pointing the finger at you and asking you 'why?' ..You will have people like me looking at you as they lay on the floor in severe pain, fearing for their lives, covered in blood and surrounded by a puddle of their own urine...asking you 'why?' You will have relatives at the funerals of the two women each and every week who are killed in this country by their partners looking at you and asking you 'why?'

You'd better have an answer ready. And it needs to be a bloody good one. Think on. - No seriously now - Think on.


I've learned an awful lot recently. About Aliens. My friend told me yesterday that some people are like Aliens. And do you know what? She's right. I make the mistake sometimes of thinking that people are probably the same (for the most part), and that would mean that everybody's standards, morals, codes of behaviour would be pretty much on a par with mine. I tend to spend time with people who I like...people who are nice, caring, kind, funny and generally have a set of behavioural ethics akin to mine. We tend to rub along quite nicely. I 'get' them and they 'get' me. Obviously we all have our quirks and foibles and do things that are a bit off the wall - but most of the time we are on the same page - or at least reading a similar book. I like to laugh, think, discuss, share, care, hug,  support people, encourage, learn, work hard, progress. I also like the odd moan and whinge, and I worry (perhaps too much) about stuff that will sort itself out...but apart from that I'm pretty much an ordinary girl in an ordinary world and I want what most people want. I want to love and be loved. Simples x

I am surprised that at my age I hadn't quite realised that some folks just aren't like that. Some people are as my friend described. They are Aliens. I don't mean that they're made of metal and spend their time making packet mashed potato (for Mash get Smash)....but it's just that their hearts and minds aren't wired up the same. I have been a bit naive to be honest. It's not like after 46 years of walking on this planet I haven't met a few Aliens in my time - but I just really struggle with the fact that they're not the same as me and I tend to really believe that they are even when every shred of evidence is telling me different. When the veil is finally lifted and I truly see them I am usually somewhat staggered and amazed - and to be honest - upset and disappointed. So I credit them with my standards, my levels of honour and integrity ......and my sense that all people are inherently good (at some basic level).

The thing is - you can sometimes spend an awful lot of time with a person before you actually realise that they are a bit 'Mork and Mindy', and then you come to realise that no matter how long you spend with them, or how much affection and love you give to them they just aren't the same. You can dig and dig and you will never ever find their 'similar to me' human qualities - because quite simply - they are Aliens.

A good pointer (apparently) is the number of friends a person has. If they have lots of pals - and those pals have been around a long time - and are still there - that's good. Some people have no friends, no satisfactory relationships with their families, nothing other than their work. Obviously that's a bit weird...why wouldn't you have any friends? 

Sometimes we meet people who we instantly 'click' with - I think they're the ones who are like us. The ones who it is relaxing to be around and who don't cause you any internal stress. On the other hand the Aliens will cause your inner voice to start mumbling quietly away to itself - usually saying things like 'this doesn't feel right' or 'something's amiss here'. As people who love, and probably (Oh Dr Spock) due to some childhood issues are usually looking to be loved in return - we tend to ignore our inner voices for a while. Then it will shout at you. Really shout. It will tell you that you aren't in the right place, with the right person...and the longer you ignore it - the louder it will get. Always trust your inner voice as this is your intuition...and it's there for a reason. It's there to protect you and keep you from danger. In the days pre-Tesco when we had to hunt for our food,  our intuition would tell us about real danger from sabre-toothed tigers and dragons and other scarey man-eating creatures.

Eventually - the Aliens will do something that is so opposite to what you would do, so completely wrong, so difficult to comprehend....that you finally get it. This person is just not of the same planet as me. We've all been there - wracking our brains to try and figure out why somebody has done something that you could never ever ever envisage yourself doing. Something that no matter how long you think about it - study, disect, or analyse - you simply cannot ever understand. Something that is wrong to you at every level. You know what I mean. You can make excuses for them - you can obtain a degree in human physcology - but deep down you will still be left speechless and staggered by their actions. It's hard - because the lesson is usually learned with someone that you truly care about. You know what I mean...don't you?

So - my friend told me yesterday - to look out for the Aliens - there's quite a few of them out there - and sadly they don't look any different to us. Listen to your inner voice...if somebody 'feels' wrong or you don't feel 'safe' around somebody.....they're probably from another galaxy! Take care x

PS - Can anybody lend me a carpet cleaning machine?

Friday 23 April 2010

Hearing restored

Well... have just got back from the clinic, and full stereo hearing is now head has sound quality akin to B&O. I had forgotten what my own voice sounded like's been that long :) I have to tell you what residue was left in the 'catching bowl' when nursey had done her bit with the electronic pulsing water thrusting device (I did ask if I could borrow it). Readers of a nervous disposition should look away now.

There was the equivalent of a thimble full of shed dead skin wonder I was deaf. Apparently I have a weird condition where my inner ear is irritated (actually it's bloody furious) and it creates more skin cells than it should. These stay down there and cause the recurrent blockage. It's a left over issue from a nasty ear infection I had whilst on holiday last summer. So there was no wax...just lots of exfoliated bits! So my ear canal is a bit like a snake - as in - it keeps shedding its gross is that?

The clinic is a 'walk-in' GP surgery - and it's open from 8-8 every day of the year...even Christmas Day.  I have to say that some of the other clients were a bit's in the centre of town you see. One lady was carrying a Netto bag......enough said.

Needless to say I found a big space in the waiting area and sat by myself, reading leaflets all about scabies and headlice.

Thursday 22 April 2010

Mystic Meg

Tonight I have been to night school. Not that I need any further education - I think I've learned enough in my lifetime...don't you? This is 'Spiritualist' classes. It's a 12 week course, and tonight was week 2. We have learned how to open our Chakras, how to meditate, how to contact our spirit guide, and lastly tonight we met our animal guides. Please don't DON'T LAUGH. (I can just imagine Christian's comments on this post....groan). We also did some experiments with pendulums, and using a map of the church and a pendulum I managed to locate a hidden key. Seriously spooky. We also did some mind reading partner had a set of five picture cards - she chose one, visualised it and I had to 'see' which one she was holding. I got it right four times out of five. Now - that's not simply random - it's because I am brilliant :) We also did some dowsing - and that was pretty good too.

Apparently everybody has abilities that are usually un-developed in the psychic realm and all you need to do to expand these talents is learn how....just ask Derek Acorah - he'll tell you.

I can't wait to see what comments appear after this post.  (actually I already know)    :)

Ear'ole issues

Regular readers will know that in the past I have had trouble with my ear. It's always the same one, and it blocks up...all by itself. In the last twelve months I've had said ear syringed three times and had two infections in it! This is not good news for a recreational scuba diver. Actually it's not good for any kind of middle aged diva such as myself - constantly turning one's head towards the direction of conversation, or to the telly, is not a good look. I kind of appear to have some kind of twitch - or nervous tic. Today I rang my Doctor's surgery to make an appointment to have it flushed out - only to be told that they don't do that anymore. What's a girl with a blocked up ear'ole supposed to do?...Google...that's what! I found a clinic in town that carry out said procedure and have an appointment booked for tomorrow morning at 11.15! I can hardly wait...I am so excited:) I know it's sad - but honestly having a blocked ear un-blocked is such a lovely feeling. And to re-gain stereo sound again is fab!

When I go out on the lash with Jayne tomorrow night I will be able to hear all the handsome young men telling me I'm sexy and offering to buy me a drink!

Wednesday 21 April 2010

I told you I was ill

That's what I'm going to have engraved on my headstone.....because nobody ever listens to me when I'm ill. Today has been terrible - well - not actually the entire day - but I've been out of service since about 3pm which was 'MIGRAINE TIME'. I suffer from the occasional migraine - every now and again - it hurts like hell (on a scale of one to ten it's about a nineteen) - I can't speak (bonus!) - the pain builds to a crescendo - and then we have the projectile vomiting. Tonight we had four lots. It's not pleasant - not pleasant at all. After the sickness comes a slow and gradual lessening of the pain back down to about a number four headache which then lasts about 24 hours. Small quantities of food can be eaten - but it's not enjoyed - simply a need to put something back in the old tummy. I really wouldn't wish a migraine on anybody - not even my worst enemy. Last year I had such a bad one that the Doctor had to inject me in the butt cheek!!!

Lovely Dan has been nursing me - she went out to buy drugs, has made me cups of coffee and covered me in a blanket when I finally fell asleep on the sofa. She can't cope with the up-chucking - but everything else she can do! Then - when it was all over she went out and got me fish and chips....and we were meant to be going out to the movies......bless her!

Catwalk or Pratwalk?

Dan has just shown me this. Poor girl - perhaps she should be working at Tesco? By the way, does the black guy look like Cat from Red Dwarf? or is it just me?

(Clever link there if you spot it!......'Cat' and 'Catwalk'!)

Inherited traits

Last night Dan and I went out for dinner with our lovely friend Moya and her friend Fiona. Dan hardly stopped talking as they were asking her all about university, horses, boys and future plans etc. When Dan wasn't talking...I was. When we left I realised that poor Moya and Fiona had hardly had a chance to speak. My Dad talks all the time and I realised with horror that the very thing about him that I find so infuriating has been inherited by the two of us. I need to work harder on  being 'quiet'. I think I need to work quite hard :)

Tuesday 20 April 2010


My little body is getting a bit bigger. It must be all the food that I'm consuming in restaurants. In the last seven days I have eaten out for six of them. Tonight Dan and I went to Nonna's with Moya and Fiona for early dinner. I had Lasagne - which was like heaven on a plate - proper Italian food x Last night we were at Loch Fyne with Helen and I had a fillet steak and monster king prawns. I can't go straight to bed when I get home because my little tummy is so full! Five weeks ago I was extremely skinny as I had lost one and half stone since Christmas and could easily pull my jeans (size eight) without unfastening them - but now - no chance!!! You can no longer see my hip bones through my trousers, and my bum has kind of grown back. My clothes now almost fit me again....previously they were all hanging off me. I'll have to be a bit careful or I may need to go on a diet soon :)


Unfortunately - the job interview I went for - didn't result in a situation of gainful employment for moi. The other girl didn't get it either - apparently they want to go back to the drawing board and start all over again. It's not as if they're recruiting the next Prime Minister - it's only a PA's job - but hey ho - in the grand scheme of things it's not really important - children are dying of starvation. I'll get another job - I've never been without work for long.  I won't even ask for suggestions - my mystery readers might write something nasty! I should be able to move back into my pretty little cottage before very much longer - the tenants have served one month of their notice - so worse ways there's just one more month to go. Hopefully they'll go before the end of the notice period.....fingers crossed everybody! Then there'll be some decorating to do, and gardening (yaaaaay) and I shall be settled in my little home again.

I am still practising patience techniques - which for me is somewhat challenging - (No?) but it's nearly May and I feel a bit like I've been standing still all year so far. Somebody did say that this year wasn't going to go well for me - but I'm not having that!!!!

Monday 19 April 2010

Blog Links

My dearest male best friend Christian has just sent me a message on Facebook referring my to Belle's blog. You all know who she is - immortalised by Billie Piper (who even I fancy) on the telly. Funnily enough - on her blog she has a link to Mistresse Matisse who is a dominatrix - I have been reading her blog for ever. It is very amusing, informative. Small world! Have a look at what these lovely highly intelligent working ladies have to say. It's fun, and it certainly makes you think :) (I won't tell anybody if you look at them - your secret is safe with me x)

Sunday 18 April 2010


Okay - to prevent the recent disastrous dating experiences from re-occurring - I have decided to be quite specific about what it is I am looking for in a chap. I do understand that my version of 'ideal' probably doesn't exist - but if we can get anywhere near it - that would be an improvement over recent acquaintances :)

1.   Must have own teeth. (Not vitally important that ALL teeth are natural - caps and veneers are okay)

2.   Must not be tight. Splitting the bill for coffee is not okay.

3.   Must not be badly overweight. A slight paunch would be acceptable - but resemblance (no matter how remote) to Mr Blobby or Roy 'Chubby' Brown is not okay.

4.   Must not have any kind of serious porn addiction. A healthy normal interest in porn is okay (after all - we do live in the real world) but active memberships on any sleazy websites with chat facilities is not acceptable.

5.   Any offspring must be polite, well behaved, respectful, able to sit properly at the dinner table - and not chew their food with open mouths.

6.  Must not chew food with mouth open - and have basic cutlery abilities :)

7.  Must not pick nose and eat bogeys

8.  Not to be a heavy drinker

9.  Not to have any kind of annoying braying laugh

10. Must be kind and reliable

11. Must be completely 'over' any previous relationships / divorces. No bitterness in evidence about losing the house, kids - or half the pension.

12. Must actively participate in some kind of sport or social activity with other people at least once a week.

13. Must be able to discuss worldy subjects at some depth.

14. Must not care about what clothes go on what coathangers.

15. Must have own least three!!! (Not kidding here)

16. Must have healthy loving relationships with other family members.

17. Must not have any kind of penchant for Dr Who. I am not interested in who is / was the best Doctor!

18. Must not mind my liking for the News of the World - or Britain's Got Talent

19. Must absolutely adore me to the point of madness.

Now - I don't think that's a lot to ask - do you? If my friends can think of anything else - please feel free to add other requirements in the comments section :)

Should I give up now?

Better next week - please?

You've got to laugh. Honestly - you do, you really do. Because I'm telling you - if you were living my life right now - if you couldn't find it inside yourself to laugh - you'd be roarin' your eyes out! Fortunately I have a sense of humour which is quite well developed...and despite all that this sometimes ridiculous life chucks at me - I can still laugh. Which is a blessing - (unless you are a shareholder in 'Kleenex Paper Products' - as I'm laughing not crying and your share price is not going to increase due to higher sales in the Sheffield area any time soon!!).

This week I have been 'spoken to' by our hardworking local Constabulary - although I have to say they were very nice and polite and more than happy with the outcome of our conversation - I think they realised that the 'other' party had a particularly blunt axe to grind - and were a little bit annoyed about having their precious time wasted - in all honesty they have real criminals to apprehend..............

Yesterday evening I found myself in a situation with someone who was ......let's just say....not at all moderate in their opinions - and hell bent on not only sharing their political opinions - but also determined to insult and harrangue anybody else who didn't completely agree with their extreme views. For me - that was a tad challenging :)....although you'll be pleased and no doubt surprised to know that I managed to keep the polite and somewhat strained smile fixed firmly upon my face - and never said a word.

This afternoon I have been out to meet someone for coffee (on a kind of date) - who - when the bill came - got out his mobile phone - switched to the calculator application and proceeded to work out exactly how much I owed for the two coffees I had consumed - un..fucking...believable. I just paid the total bill - telling him that it was 'my pleasure' when he protested - weakly. What a loser!

Before I go to sleep tonight I am going down on bended knee (no - not for that) by my bedside and I am going to offer up a prayer to 'im upstairs - for some slight improvement in things in general. Nothing specific - don't want to make it difficult for him - just generally a bit better next week please!!!

Friday 16 April 2010

Nature 1 - Technology 0

Once again nature defeats us. The current volcano eruption has been responsible for the complete thwarting of all our modern computers and machinery and new-fangled airliner and airport technology. Last year it was the floods.....we've had hurricanes and tsunamis, and here in blighty - a stiff breeze is all it takes to render us helpless.

As a race we think we're very clever - with all we can do nowadays - but Mother Nature always has the last word - which is exactly as it should be seeing as she's a woman :)

Old friends

Today I'm going to meet my friend Jayne. Jayne and I met for the very first time in 1968 and I daren't do the math to find out how long ago that is. We met on our first day at St. Wilfred's RC Junior and Infant school on Millhouses Lane in Sheffield. We were in the same class for the next six years and were both quite bright (!). Jayne would always come first in English tests with yours truly running a close second, and the situation was reversed for Mathematics. We then moved to Silverdale School together and had another five years of being really good friends. When the dinner ladies used to catch our group smoking in the loos at lunchtimes - they would always send Jayne and I away and then report the others to the Headteacher. Us two never once got into trouble for smoking - I think we were the school's best hope for good O level results.

As so often happens - over the ensuing years we lost touch - with occasional contact - giggly telephone calls etc - and then we got together again in 2000 during the event of our 20 years school reunion party.

When I lived in Sheffield before we used to go out down 'Eccy Road' on a Wednesday night, which was always fun. Jayne has this amazing laugh which starts in her throat and then giggles out ...just to see her laughing always makes me laugh.

She now has three children of her own - two of which are studying to become doctors - the 'bright' gene must have been passed on.

I'm going to see her today, and I can't wait :)

Thursday 15 April 2010


Today I had my hair done. After four years of being platinum blonde I have completely changed the colour to very dark brown - almost black! I fancied a change!!! My friend Fiona - who's lovely - told me it made me look ten years younger! Who am I to argue with that?


Sometimes people do things that leave me absolutely staggered. That any person can stoop so low is simply unbelievable. I don't believe that 'evil' exists. You could argue that people who hurt kids are evil, or people who hurt animals...but my take on that is that they are ill...sick...whatever....

However - sometimes people do things that you simply cannot understand. They must be motivated by their own inner pain, torment, insecurity - or weird kind of need for revenge that comes from some left field somewhere.

I understand that - everybody has a dark side - or dark moments - and they do things which perhaps they shouldn't. The motivation that exists when these acts take place can only garner pity. It must be awful to be so driven by dark thoughts that you would deliberately set out to hurt or damage another.

Fortunately - I understand all of this - and feel only sorrow for people who act that way. I wish them love and peace in their hearts, today and always. Hopefully one day they may realise that their actions were wrong and only succeeded in perpetuating their own bad feelings. The thing about trying to damage others is that it rarely hurts the person for whom it is intended - rather it leaves the perpetrator feeling worse - not better - as they imagined it would.

Revenge is never a good idea....never, ever, ever.

I am okay, and strong enough to take anything that is thrown at me. There is nothing you can do which can truly hurt me because I am strong and good on the inside. I know this. So - do your worst, waste more time, increase your dark thoughts and feelings and keep on attacking me......and may God bless you, forgive you ...and help you to find peace in your heart xx

Wednesday 14 April 2010

Sky diving

My friend Liz has just called after posting a piece on Facebook about wanting to go sky diving. I've said I'll do it - and I will. I am not scared at all......not one little bit! I do 'deep under water' - I may as well do 'high up in the sky' as well. I'll keep you posted on the plan x

Dear Anonymous..... ( tiresome!)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Monday 12 April 2010

Big Teeth

Yesterday lunchtime I popped out to meet yet another chap from the dating website. He seemed nice - but once again - absolutely no spark and..... he had the biggest teeth I have ever seen. (Oh Grandma - what big teeth you have). I was sitting there chatting with him and all I could think about was the size of his gnashers. I couldn't imagine where they had come from. Tombstones doesn't quite convey just how massive they were. Now I now why he wasn't smiling on his photograph. Cosmetic dentistry - anyone?

Once again - after twenty minutes of chatting to him I was deadly bored - but good manners dictate that you have to stay for at least an would be rude to dash off after twenty minutes.

I don't think I'm going to pay for next month's membership because this website dating lark just isn't working for me. There are some very nice people out there - but quite frankly - after the last eighteen months I've had - I really don't think it's the way forward. Maybe being on my own for a while is what's right for me. Perhaps my heart / head is telling me that it's just now what I need right now :)

Sunday 11 April 2010

4 years and still going strong

It's 4 years since I started writing this blog. 4 whole years. That's a very long time - but when I look back - it's flown by. So much has changed - and many events have unfolded. I am 4 years older and about three minutes wiser!! Ha!

I hope to still be writing it in another 4 years.

Sleepover...and afternoons out

Last night I went out for a sleepover! Sadly it wasn't with a chap - but we live in hope! I went to stay with my friends who live over in Stocksbridge - which is a bit too far to drive back home from when you've had a couple of sherberts. I went to Helen and Andrew's - and we had curry. It was fab. I've known H&A for about 18 years and they're amongst the nicest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. They are both very funny and Andrew has the ability to have me in stitches from the very outset. He's the most laid back person ever - almost horizontal in fact. Our kids grew up together - and are now all  adults in their own right. We spent many happy days and weekends together when the kids were small - including one never to be forgotten weekend in a caravan in Devon when Helen and I put the clocks forward by three hours - and had the kids - who were just toddlers - washed, fed and fast asleep by 5pm (they thought it was 8pm) so that we could get on with drinking some wine!!! Shameful behaviour - but they were tired!

I have known H&A for what seems like forever - and I love them both very much. They are very smiley people, and I love spending time with them.

Later today I am going to Scunthorpe to see my lovely cousin Stephen - who is over on a flying visit from Canada. He's brill and I can't wait to see him.

When I came back home a few weeks ago I was a bit concerned about whether or not I was doing the right know...'Is it a good idea to go back?'...but now that I'm here and am surrounded by lovely people I know it was completely the right thing to do - I only wish I had done it eighteen months ago:)


What about this weather? Isn't it lovely? Makes me want to be back in my little house and start tending to my pretty little garden. A few years ago my garden was a riot of colour and beautiful things (not to mention the daily battle with the slugs) we would regularly have barbeques and most nights I would sit outside to eat my dinner. The warmer weather has brought all that flooding back and my green fingers are starting to itch. Later today I am going to a Garden Centre to meet 'random man from dating website' for a coffee - but you can bet while I'm there I'll be having a little pike at the bedding plants! It's a bit too early to start planting them as yet - (you need to wait until May - to be sure the frost doesn't get them) but then you have total beauty until about the end of September (providing you feed and dead-head them regularly).

I really can't wait to get back into my little house and do the garden and all that kind of stuff. It must be the homemaker in me :) I love my little cottage x

Saturday 10 April 2010

More Diving

A Facebook friend (who I've never met) sent me a message last night asking if I wanted to do the 'Deep Diver' course over the next few weekends for free - that is - no money to change spondulies. Bit of a no-brainer really. I said yes. He came round this morning (so now I have met him) with the manual and the DVD for me - so soon I'll be even more qualified than I am already! I'm going to get a new wallet  just to keep all my dive qualification cards in!

Prison Visit

I'm off to prison soon. "Not a moment too soon" I can hear some of you saying. Sorry to disappoint - but I'm not going as an inmate - rather as a visitor. A really good friend of mine has sadly been caught, and then convicted of a crime and was given a custodial sentence. Not being the judgemental type, I am still his friend and although I don't want any kind of heated debate regarding punishments......suffice to say I feel his sentence was quite harsh - and he hasn't done anything to hurt anybody in particular. Obviously - had he harmed anyone, I wouldn't still be his friend. But his crime was more on the 'helping people to part with their money' front.

Anyway I am hastily arranging a visitor's order so I can go and see him very soon. I think it should be in the next couple of weeks.

I have found out that I can take gifts of magazines and cigarettes and such like for I will.

Luckily - he's in an open prison - so I won't have to rub shoulders with murderers or terrorists or anyone of that ilk - no - we'll probably spend the hour doing painting by numbers, basket weaving or meandering through the gardens.

Another 'once in a lifetime' experience which I am sure I will learn something from.

Meeting of cultures

Last night - my friend Fiona and I took a little girl to the park. That sounds a bit random...but it was Fiona's friend's daughter who was having a sleepover. We went to the swings, climbing frame and slide. It was fun. But something puzzled me. There was an indian family - with about three young women - all wearing saris, and about six children. The children were very very cute, and they too were dressed in traditional indian garb. They were all  eating - but they were eating a huge pile of food from MacDonalds.

I thought it was great - and quite amusing. East meets West :)

Thursday 8 April 2010

A word to the wise

When you do bad things - the results of your actions will be bad. When you treat people with blatant diregard and disrespect - you will, in turn be disrespected. When you lie and cheat and deceive - the truth will come out and although others may suffer as a result of your actions - in time you will be the one holding the hurt, suffering the loss - and that's exactly as it should be - balance is restored. The universe takes care of everything and what you sow is what you reap. So, before you threaten, rage and stamp your feet, accuse and blame, hate and show anger.....spend a few minutes asking why whatever has happened, has happened. Has somebody just told the truth about something you wanted to keep hidden? Have you acted in a way that is wrong? Probably. If you're doing things that you wouldn't want to come to light and be made public - then you probably shouldn't be doing them.......think on.

The probable answer would be to examine your own actions and think about what you may have done to cause the problems you are now facing. Probably not a good idea to threaten and harass and act like a small child having a tantrum in a

I've said this before - and I'll probably say it again - when you point the finger and get all accusatory - remember there are probably another three fingers pointing right back at you. If you act like a sleaze, you can be sure your actions will be uncovered. So - the answer - live a clean life and treat others exactly how you would like to be treated.


My Mum (bless her) has just come back from the doctors. She had a problem with her ears. She has just announced that the Doctor has told her she's got 'Tittinus'. I think she means 'tinnitus' - but hey ho - I got the meaning :) I love my Mum x

Doctor, doctor

I have a very bad case of man flu. Hacking cough - during which some dreadful stuff makes its presence known (!), headache, sore throat, and aching bones. Yesterday I was told (by somebody spooky) that I would have ladies problems 'down there' before the end of the year, and issues with my bones. Put that together with the fact that I have broken a fingernail, and my roots need doing......and you would assume it's probably time to call the vet and put me out of my misery! I just wish the summer would hurry up - I always feel healthier when the sun is shining :)

Mardy arse !

Wednesday 7 April 2010

Fist shaking

Today has been a very bad day. I have felt quite (!) angry all day. Fortunately nobody got in my way too much when I was out driving my truck - because if they had I probably would have smashed into them - just for fun! If I had seen an old lady crossing the road I would have probably run her over. Twice. (kidding!)

I have wanted to shake my little fists at anybody and everybody - I haven't had a thing to eat all day - and have just come home and there's no food in the fridge, and my Mum's not here to cook me my tea....grrrrrrrrr!

I know I sound like a spoiled brat - and that is probably how I am acting....but my blog is nothing if not honest - and I don't feel like being all nicey nicey and tinkly laughing and twee and all that shite. I feel like sinking a ten pound lump hammer into somebody's skull (no prizes for guessing who that might be) because ...well just because.

Apparently feeling anger is all part of the process - and just yet another stage in the 'healing process', and if anybody else suggest lilac crystals I swear to god I'll twat them one.

Having a bad case of 'man-flu' and a raging headache doesn't help much either.


Tuesday 6 April 2010


When I left my old address I was pressured and harangued on an almost daily basis to set up a mail redirection - by some grumpy old mardy arsed git who wouldn't/couldn't be bothered with my mail . The fact that he could've just given it to me or to our friendly neighbour to pass on to me - completely passed him by:) All he had to do was keep it safe for a few days and then pass it on - aren't some folks funny?

Well, you know me and how resistant to pressure I am - so I didn't - for ages. Besides which I didn't know which address I was going to end up at - so until something permanent was arranged there didn't seem much point.

Eventually I capitulated and set up the redirection to my Mum's address - that way I knew I would get my post. Today - after two and a half weeks - I still haven't received anything....have just been on the phone to Royal Mail (twenty minutes on hold...lots of Mantovani plus "Sorry you're in a queue...blah blah blah....") and eventually I discovered that I had put the incorrect address on the forwarding details. What a dick I am :) I also discovered when I recovered a piece of this post that chuffnut in Banbury has been opening my post - which is - in actual fact a criminal offence - honestly...some people have absolutely no morals whatsoever.

A poor woman in the next block has been getting my mail! My Mum has just gone round to collect it and apologise, and Royal Mail now have the correct address so all should be well!

Monday 5 April 2010

The Past

Sometimes - I go back in time and read old posts on my blog. It is just like re-reading a diary and it can bring back many happy memories. I've just read January and February from last year. I was having a really great time and was a very happy girl. I can't quite believe how things have changed since then. Life is weird fuck-up sometimes and seems to do its level best to crap on you from a great height - just when you think everything is coming up roses.

To say I am a bit pissed off right now would be an understatement.

The Church Story

Right - the Church story. Last week a pal of mine introduced me to a very nice man (who is a chemist...which is totally irrelevant but I like a bit of detail) who reads tarot cards. He came - asked me to pick some cards - and then went away. A few days later he provided a written reading based on the cards I had chosen. While he had a quick cup of tea I was asking all about him - how he came to start reading the cards etc.......people fascinate me you see. He told me he was a member of a spiritualist church here in Sheffield, he was / is clairvoyant and other such things. 'Hmmmm....interesting' I thought. Quite fascinating in fact. And then promptly forgot all about it.  The following day I go trotting to Meadowhall to meet a chap from the dating website ......through our chat I discover that he too is a member of the spiritualist church...the very same church that our tarot reading chemist attended! How bizarre. Two completely random meetings in two days.......a pointer do you think?

Well, I did. So on Saturday night I went to the church. They have a meeting called 'Open Circle' on a Saturday evening. Everyone is welcome and basically they're a bunch of nice people who all 'see'or 'hear' things from the spirit world. Prayers were said and tea was made !

It doesn't matter if you believe in all that kind of stuff or not - the point is that I like to learn about things. Everyone is entitled to believe whatever they choose - as long as they're not hurting anybody else. That's my view anyway - and I'm sticking to it.

Anyway - I got some messages. Not just one - but a few. 'Somebody' told me about my mum melting the kettle the night before. And that is exactly how they said it. How the hell could they have known that? They mentioned my eternity ring which I now wear on my right hand (and they knew I was wearing it on the wrong hand). They knew about my Grandfather sewing (he was a tailor) and my other grandfather could be seen sitting at the side of a pile of wood (he was a joiner). They mentioned a photograph of me that was on the top of my Gran's TV for years and years - in which I am leaning on the bonnet of a pal blue Jaguar XJS. They actually said 'pale blue sports car'. They knew about the sisters having a birthday this week (my Mum and her twin sister's birthday is today). They told me that I had recently been very badly deceived by somebody - but that the truth will come out in due course - and a big apology will be forthcoming........Can't wait for that!!!!

They said ...and I quote 'you will be soon getting the keys back to your home'. They mentioned a discussion about a headstone - which is bizarre as only last week we had the big family discussion about if we should mention my Grandfather on my Grandmother's headstone. Then they said that they could see me standing with horses. BIZARRE!

Understandably the whole thing was a bit scarey - and caused me a bit of an emotional reaction (no shit sherlock)...but it was totally fascinating. Everything was quite accurate - but random - and there was no way that those things could have been known. No way at all. 

I'm not sure if I buy all that stuff or not - but to be sure - there was something going on there that was quite odd.

Sunday 4 April 2010

No chocolate

I didn't get anything for Easter! Not a scarat of chocolate of any description. I did go out for breakfast with Jacqui - but sadly our usual venue for 'Full English' was closed so we had to re-locate - but managed to find a little cafe where I enjoyed tomatoes on toast - in some kind of balsamic vinegar sauce thingy - quite nice for a 'make-do'.

Have been out to meet police officer number three (I'm still at liberty - so clearly today's police force are pretty poor at their jobs)...however sadly I have to report that once again - there was no spark. It's pretty crap - but I feel nothing. He was very nice, quite interesting (in a calm sort of way) - didn't make me laugh even once - and although I spent two hours in his company - simply felt nothing at all. I could have been sitting staring at the wall for two hours for all the difference it made.

This period of numbness - nothingness -  empty - non-feeling - dullness - void - lack of feeling about anything and everything has to end soon.

Read this

Read this on Christian's Blog - I have been laughing for ten minutes.

Jesus Loves Me

Can't write too much at the moment as I'm going out for full English Breakfast in ten minutes. Just wanted to say that last night I went to Church. WHAT? YOU? CHURCH?......Yes - and what's more the building didn't collapse or get hit by an aeroplane falling from the sky (Emmerdale?), or burst into flames. No chap with a red face, goatee beard and tiny little horns carrying a toasting fork was waiting for me at the door to tell me I was in the wrong place (by a mile).....I was actually made to fell quite welcome! Him upstairs can obviously see that I'm okay actually!!!

It was a very interesting experience - because it wasn't any ordinary church. No - it was a specific church. Anyway - more about that and other stuff later....I'm off for bacon, sausage, egg, fried bread and HP sauce right now. Later x

Saturday 3 April 2010

Babylon update

I've just got back from my date with the Police Officer. Up North folk say that Sheffield is a big village - in that everybody knows everybody....and it's true. Nigh on three quarters of a million people live in Sheffield - but most people know somebody you's truly weird - and as far as I know it's a phenomena that's unique to our city.

You can just imagine what kind of conversation we had - it transpires that nearly everybody I've ever worked for in this fair city had been arrested by this chap at some point in time!!! Hilarious! Absolutely hilarious. I have to point out that I've never been arrested - well - not for anything serious anyway. Only for non-payment of parking fines...and that was a very very long time ago!

He brought me flowers too :)


On Thursday I went to meet a chap off the internet dating site. His job? Police Officer (yikes). Today I'm meeting another chap for coffee...his occupation? Police Officer. Tomorrow I'm going meet a chap for coffee...and you'll never guess what he does for a living???  Yep - in one.

I think it's called 'sailing close to the wind'.

Living with my Mother

Twelve months ago I was living in a luxury home, in the home counties (oh - la di boody da) learning to cook and having piano lessons......

Last night - my dear Mum - who is ageing disgracefully - accidentally (alzheimers) put the electric kettle on the hob and melted it.

Therefore this morning - to make a cup of coffee we have had to put the pan a small two bedroomed third floor flat.

It's like living in a episode of 'Shameless'.

It's a good job that we Sheffield girls are adaptable x

Love it - you've got to bloody laugh!!!

Great, Great day

This post was originally written on Thursday 1st April (Fools day) - but I forgot to upload it....doh doh doh...:)

Today has been a great great day. I met up with some extremely interesting people - and have had some great ideas and insights into the future. Fate has conspired to bring me various random chance encounters today in the oddest way possible......all leading me by the nose onto a certain path. Odd - but good. I always find it strange how fate conspires to give you the next part of your journey - always when you aren't looking for it. I've spent the last two years desperately scrabbling round and searching for myself and my place in the world......and then...lo and behold...when I stop searching and finally relax - the path is revealed and all becomes clear.

Finally this evening I went with Deepak to see this movie. We took tissues - assuming it was going to be a weepie - and we weren't disappointed. If you get the chance to go and see it - do go - I would give it ten out of ten.

Beautiful New life