Saturday, 24 April 2010

Aliens

I've learned an awful lot recently. About Aliens. My friend told me yesterday that some people are like Aliens. And do you know what? She's right. I make the mistake sometimes of thinking that people are probably the same (for the most part), and that would mean that everybody's standards, morals, codes of behaviour would be pretty much on a par with mine. I tend to spend time with people who I like...people who are nice, caring, kind, funny and generally have a set of behavioural ethics akin to mine. We tend to rub along quite nicely. I 'get' them and they 'get' me. Obviously we all have our quirks and foibles and do things that are a bit off the wall - but most of the time we are on the same page - or at least reading a similar book. I like to laugh, think, discuss, share, care, hug,  support people, encourage, learn, work hard, progress. I also like the odd moan and whinge, and I worry (perhaps too much) about stuff that will sort itself out...but apart from that I'm pretty much an ordinary girl in an ordinary world and I want what most people want. I want to love and be loved. Simples x

I am surprised that at my age I hadn't quite realised that some folks just aren't like that. Some people are as my friend described. They are Aliens. I don't mean that they're made of metal and spend their time making packet mashed potato (for Mash get Smash)....but it's just that their hearts and minds aren't wired up the same. I have been a bit naive to be honest. It's not like after 46 years of walking on this planet I haven't met a few Aliens in my time - but I just really struggle with the fact that they're not the same as me and I tend to really believe that they are even when every shred of evidence is telling me different. When the veil is finally lifted and I truly see them I am usually somewhat staggered and amazed - and to be honest - upset and disappointed. So I credit them with my standards, my levels of honour and integrity ......and my sense that all people are inherently good (at some basic level).

The thing is - you can sometimes spend an awful lot of time with a person before you actually realise that they are a bit 'Mork and Mindy', and then you come to realise that no matter how long you spend with them, or how much affection and love you give to them they just aren't the same. You can dig and dig and you will never ever find their 'similar to me' human qualities - because quite simply - they are Aliens.

A good pointer (apparently) is the number of friends a person has. If they have lots of pals - and those pals have been around a long time - and are still there - that's good. Some people have no friends, no satisfactory relationships with their families, nothing other than their work. Obviously that's a bit weird...why wouldn't you have any friends? 

Sometimes we meet people who we instantly 'click' with - I think they're the ones who are like us. The ones who it is relaxing to be around and who don't cause you any internal stress. On the other hand the Aliens will cause your inner voice to start mumbling quietly away to itself - usually saying things like 'this doesn't feel right' or 'something's amiss here'. As people who love, and probably (Oh Dr Spock) due to some childhood issues are usually looking to be loved in return - we tend to ignore our inner voices for a while. Then it will shout at you. Really shout. It will tell you that you aren't in the right place, with the right person...and the longer you ignore it - the louder it will get. Always trust your inner voice as this is your intuition...and it's there for a reason. It's there to protect you and keep you from danger. In the days pre-Tesco when we had to hunt for our food,  our intuition would tell us about real danger from sabre-toothed tigers and dragons and other scarey man-eating creatures.

Eventually - the Aliens will do something that is so opposite to what you would do, so completely wrong, so difficult to comprehend....that you finally get it. This person is just not of the same planet as me. We've all been there - wracking our brains to try and figure out why somebody has done something that you could never ever ever envisage yourself doing. Something that no matter how long you think about it - study, disect, or analyse - you simply cannot ever understand. Something that is wrong to you at every level. You know what I mean. You can make excuses for them - you can obtain a degree in human physcology - but deep down you will still be left speechless and staggered by their actions. It's hard - because the lesson is usually learned with someone that you truly care about. You know what I mean...don't you?

So - my friend told me yesterday - to look out for the Aliens - there's quite a few of them out there - and sadly they don't look any different to us. Listen to your inner voice...if somebody 'feels' wrong or you don't feel 'safe' around somebody.....they're probably from another galaxy! Take care x

PS - Can anybody lend me a carpet cleaning machine?

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