In tonight's episode of Top Gear (which I love...I could eat Richard hammond - no - not like that...- well alright then - yes, like that...but that's not what I mean) Jeremy Clarkson told a joke. How do know when you dashboard is having it's period? The satnav starts shouting at you!!!! I think you had to be there!!!
I've just been to Kingston with Jo for breakfast and to drive back to the house a left hand drive mercedes sports car. That's a first for me - driving a left hand drive car!!! It was a bit of a struggle at the outset - I was veering into the middle of the road somewhat...but after a couple of miles I got the hang of it!!! It's surprising how much interest a left hand drive car creates!!! ....mind you it might be because the driver was absolutely drop dead gorgeous :)
Today I went up to town. I went to get my hair done at Cousin Richard's salon in Covent Garden. I had a lovely time there - my hair cut and colour took nearly 4 hours as we were talking so much!! Have to look my very best for Sunday!! Then I met Jo for lunch and we went shopping. I needed a certain particular item - very specific - and could I find it....no....cue much fustration in Selfridges, Oxford Street. Eventually I found one in Debenhams.
Central London shopping is very busy - far too many people for my liking:) I'd much rather be in a field with my horse and my dog.
Cressie came round last night and brought me a few things. She brought me a dress to borrow, a blouse, some magazines and the best thing ever - her Mum's copy of one of the best movies ever "An Officer and a Gentleman". Every one knows of my love of all things with any kind of military theme - and very recently I have been reminded that my time in the Army was a very special time in my life and holds many many fantastic memories for me. It is something that i am so glad I did in my life, and perhaps it was when I was at my absolute best...who knows?
Tonight I have sat and watched the movie again. (must be for about the tenth time!). I love this movie - almost as much as I love "Pretty Woman" (Richard Gere?...oh yes indeedy!!) (Also very good in 'American Gigolo') This week my 'Army memories' are more important to me than ever before.
The drill sergeant "Foley' is ace. His funniest line is "..only two things come from Oklahahoma...Steers and Queers!.." The main character Zach Mayo (Richard Gere) is tormented by the suicide of his mother and joins the Navy to become a pilot and escape from his drunken womanising father. He meets and falls in love with Paula (played by the very beautiful Debra Winger). Zach is a loner and Foley tries to turn him into a team player.
There are some great scenes - when Foley beasts Zach for the whole weekend in an attempt to 'break' his spirit and get his DOR (Dropped on request) ...and - fails miserably.
Lynette gets pregnant (or not) to trap Sid, and then dumps him when he quits the navy pilot's programme - because she only wants a pilot - so Sid, distraught - goes and hangs himself...Oh so sad :(
...and then the final part when Zach realises he loves Paula and goes to get her from the paper factory where she works. It's so romantic - and I don't mind admitting I shed a wee tear at the end.
What a lovely evening - I love this film - thanks Cressie !!!!
Right Girls - what is this 'waxing pain' nonsense?. I was warned that it was going to hurt like hell. My friends were telling me to take painkillers prior to the appointment and then go straight for a stiff drink!!! I was a bit worried - I don't mind admitting. They're wimps because it didn't hurt a bit. I just laughed - a lot - because it was really ticklish :) I must be braver / harder than I thought.
Tonight I went for a drink (she's doing a lot of that lately) with Jo, Cressie and Su. We went to Red bar in Weybridge. While we were there a man came around the corner in his BMW, lost control and smashed it into a wall - at very high speed!!! Luckily no-one was hurt. But it was very dramatic. The police came and two ambulances. Apparently - he slammed his foot on the accelerator and thought it was the brake ...doh!
On Friday I went to Longleat to watch Dan competing. Unfortunately it didn't go well and she was eliminated in the show jumping after a refusal. There were big white tents and stalls around the arena and Rupert didn't concentrate!!! Here's a picture of where it all started to go a bit Pete Tong.
I know lots of fathers. I even have one of my own! If you are a father - today is your day. So put your feet up and have a lovely day - knowing that your children - even if they're not with you - love you very much and will be thinking of you today. Great Dads I know include Gary Pilkington, Christian Briddon, Jim Moore, Tony Mckay, Tim Setterfield, Jonathan Stewart, Melvyn Woodall, Russell Davy (stepdad extraordinaire!) Stewart Lale, Anthony Mackley, Bill Rusling, Andy Davies, Cousin John, and Craig, Dennis Carr, David Ashforth, Richard Ashforth, Jeremy Ashforth, ...and loads more xxx
Being a parent isn't easy - but all of these men go about their daily lives with the main intention of making the world a better, happier place for their children and in some cases - their grandchildren . And that's exactly the right thing to do. I know that there will be times when you think you're not doing the job right, or not being a good enough father - but I also know that every day, in lots of ways - you do your absolute best. Dads - I salute you. This song is just for you xx
I did drop off back to sleep eventually - see post below - but unfortunately my dreaming didn't include George Clooney and / or any kind of implement. It did however carry a theme of a sexual nature (Only people over 18 to read further).
I can't tell you who the other person was who starred in my dream - suffice to say that this morning I am horrified that my subconscious mind could envisage such a thing with that person!!!! I've don't even like her :)
Rightio - look at the bloody time! Brer Fox must have got home late from the pub and decided to give Mrs Fox one. I think he must have stopped at the curry house on the way home - or maybe even been to the fox equivalent of the Casino or the nightclub. You know what men are like when they get home late and have had a few. They get all romantic and amorous. The liquor that they have imbibed plays tricks on their mind and they think that they have miraculously become Jack Nicholson in that Postman movie when he does that blonde girl on the kitchen table - when in reality they've actually turned into something that more closely resembles Postman Pat. That's fine - I'm all for a healthy sex life- just not right beneath my ground floor bedroom window at 1.30am. Have you ever heard the noises that mating foxes make?
There am I - deeply deeply asleep - and I get woken by a racket that is akin to seventeen witches scraping their long scaley fingernails across a blackboard. At first I though the world was ending - but as I came to I realise what was going on - I admit to being a bit horrified. After all - anywhere within an eighty foot radius of my bedroom is a totally sex-free zone - more's the pity.
I thought that they would stop after a couple of minutes - but no - this particular fox has obviously read McKinsey and Johnson, or maybe it was the drink - but he had some stamina. Lucky old dog. First I opened the window and tried to 'shoo' them away. The male fox (on top - typical!) looked at me as if to say 'yeah - right' and just almost winked at me and carried on!!! Meanwhile Mrs Fox is well onto verse two of her lament (I'm assuming they were married?).
This calls for desperate measures - so the dressing gown goes on and the rolling pin comes out - well actually it's the modern day equivalent of the rolling pin - which is a horse whip - and, no I don't keep whips in my bedroom - well actually I do - but it's not how it looks - that is unless George Clooney stops by and then it would be EXACTLY how it looks - and out I go clutching a whip - not to beat the porn-foxes with - just to wave at them and get their attention.
I dash into the garden, around the laurel hedge and to within two feet of the copulating couple; making a strange shushing noise myself by now - why not join the chorus? and waving my whip. The Male fox - who is clearly getting close to the vinegar stroke, and doesn't want to be distracted, stands up straight on his hind legs -(acrobatic sex?)- and snarls at me ...I was quite scared. I waved the whip again - this time the tip of it right in his face - and with one last nasty bark - he's off. Leaving poor old Mrs Fox prone on the floor without so much as a note with his mobile number scrawled on it, saying 'call me'. With this I realise that she's probably not Mrs Fox at all but some poor unsuspecting Miss Fox who believed his line of "Of course I'll respect you in the morning ". I know he won't call :)
Because let's face it - if they were married they a) wouldn't be doing it at all - let alone mid-week and b) certainly would have waited until they got home and had a nice cup of cocoa and were able to enjoy the comfort of the deluxe double sprung pocketed springs Slumberland that they bought in the spring sale at Debenhams.!!! Married couples don't do 'it' in the outside in the middle of the night - or do they? Well, I never did after I got married. All of those fun things went straight out of the window to be replaced by housework and paying bills, and listening to 'im indoors moaning about life, the universe and everything :)
I'm all for nature and the procreation of the species - whatever species you may belong to - but not in my back yard if you please, and not if you're going to wake me up in the middle of the night when I've got an early start tomorrow (today). The only thing missing was the post-sex cigarette, and maybe the camera crew and the cheesy cheaply produced music that usually goes along with the porn movie industry (not that I would know) :)
Anyway - it's all over now - I wonder if she was satisfied? or disappointed with his performance - I feel that he was one of those 'wham, bam, thankyou Mam' types - and therefore she's better off without him. Anyway - she put her stillettos back on, picked up her handbag and teetered off into the night.
As for me...well I'm off back to bed now to hopefully have a pleasant dream about George Clooney and a horse whip!!
I'm still up at my desk at 2.15am. God only knows why? Tomorrow (today) I'm going to be sooo tired. I have been listening to music from my boxes and boxes of cds - and got a bit carried away :) I found all sorts of stuff that I'd forgotten I had. Some of it is over 20 years old - but it's still well worth a listen. I've been listening to loads of Queen - which I adore, some Thunder tracks (who?) Def Leppard, Barry White (what!!), Hot Chocolate (yes - really!) and loads more.
Having just watched 'The Apprentice' Final I have to say that I think Sir Alan made the wrong choice. I think either Helen or Claire should have won it. I didn't rate Leigh at all. He lied on his CV for goodness sake!! I thought he was pretty one-dimensional and uninspiring.
If I had had to choose - I would have picked a girl!!! Mind you saying that, if I had interviewed any of them I don't think I would have hired a single one:)
This website is very clever. You simply type in a partner's (or anybody's) mobile phone number and by the wonders of satellite technology it tracks them to where they are. It's a bit like Google earth, but takes you right to the spot where their phone is.
Dan and Rupert did well yesterday. If you really want to know how they got on click here. She rang me from the lorry on the way home and was extremely thrilled with how the day had gone. I am a very proud Mum.
There is a very good reason indeed why I don't usually drink. This morning I am reminded unequivocally what that reason is. There are at least one hundred leprechauns inside my brain having a serious go with pick axes and pneumatic drills. A few of them have escaped to my stomach and are creating a maelstrom within. Some of their cousins are sticking sharp needles into the backs of my eyeballs, and earlier during the night a few of them have carpeted my throat!!! I had no idea that there were leprechauns living in the village of 'Gordon'. I am never ever ever ever drinking half a bottle of gin again:)
Today Jo and I went out for lunch to the Minnow in Weybridge. It's lovely there - right by the wier on the river and the food is great. We had a lot of fun and much merriment - with quite a lot of alcohol, then came home and had more alcohol. I'm starting to get a taste for the alcohol - crikey!! Lunch was lovely - just a sunday roast for me, after loads of bread and balsamic vinegar and oil - which I love. I could just eat that all day without having anything else!! The beef was lovely and I had some very hot horseradish..which burnt my nose and made my eyes water - but I love it when that happens!!!
Then after lunch we went to sit outside in the lovely sunshine for coffee and had a really nice talk about life, the universe and everything. We quite put the world to rights. We also talked about how ridiculous Jordan and Peter Andre are - but that's a whole other story!!! I'm wearing my sunglasses because a) it was sunny and b) that way you can't see the laughter lines (!) around my eyes!!!
Today Dan and Rupert are eventing near Oswestry in Wales. Bruce is riding too. I am sad that I couldn't be there to support my little girl as she rides her horse bravely!!! No doubt later I'll let you know how they got on. Right now she'll be in the lorry winding her way through Wales, and no doubt poo-ing her pants with nerves. As her mother I want to hold her hand and tell her how clever and brave she is and that it will be great!!! So I've just sent her a text, and she'll be fine. Good Luck Dan and Rupert xx
The truth is everything. The truth really really matters. It's a cornerstone of my life. People who can't tell the truth or handle the truth are cowards and I don't want anything to do with them. I like being truthful and I love to be honest about what I want and how I feel. That sometimes scares people - but you know what? That's their problem. I sometimes get told - usually by people who are trying to manipulate me or 'shape' me - that too much honestly is not always appropriate....but do you know what? I don't buy that. It's a crock. So there is a good time to lie then is there? I like honesty because that way you always know where you stand.. That's a good thing - and don't ever let anybody tell you that it's not.
Unfortunately some people can't or won't do the truth. It scares them because their lives are built upon sand. Most people can't even be honest with themselves. Well, this is what I say to them. 'Be gone from my life...there is no room for you here'
You want to play in the park with me? Well, you need to be wearing your 'truth trousers' before I'll let you join the game.
Truth comes in many forms. It's about doing what you say you're going to do, and doing it when you say you're going to do it. It's about not lying by omission. It's about looking inside yourself and finding out what's really important to you and then having the courage to go get it. It's about not playing games with other people's feelings. It's not about winning or scoring points or saving your own ass. It's about integrity and honour. It's about not guessing how somebody else feels or what they want - but actually asking them and listening to what they say.
You want to really know about truth? - go get a dog:)
Well, well, well!!! The truth is often stranger than fiction - or so they sometimes say. (who - by the way - is 'they'?) I have had the oddest week - in fact, the oddest end to a week that i think I've had for a long time - if not ever. I'm not going to tell you what has happened - because it's not really relevant, but it has re-taught me something that I already knew but perhaps had forgotten.
Sit down - philosophical ramblings coming your way right now.....
I've lived my life for what often seems like a very long time. I have quite a good understanding of people, how they think and how they operate. I've had lots of varied and wonderful experiences and many that aren't so wonderful and I like to think that I've learned from them. I'm not naive and I'm certainly not stupid (that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes do stupid things!) But sometimes I really surprise myself. I suppose deep down there's a part of me that's still a little girl and she sometimes peeps out from under the duvet and holds up the beacon of 'hope'. (Silly cow) Well she did that for a while and I got quite excited about the promise of something. Stupid high expectations bit me on the nose once again! I really should know better at my age, and be happy to settle for what I've got - which all in all is not a bad (albeit somewhat dull) lot. But no, when she popped out from under the duvet holding the beacon of hope I (like a tit) grabbed it with both hands and started to run with it. Like I said - at my age I really should have known better.
Anyway - one of the things that I absolutely know - like I know my own name - is that you can never rely on anybody else for your own little pieces of happiness and joy. They have to come from within....and if by some strange chance - you forget this wisdom and start to trust or believe in another to give you what you need (or even contribute in some way) very quickly you will realise that you're on a hiding to nowhere. And you know what?...this week I learned that all over again...like I needed reminding :(
I promise the spirits that take care of me that I will never make that same mistake again. STUPID STUPID WOMAN :(
It started well enough with a 6.30am visit to Phoebe. I'm never normally the one who gives her her breakfast so that made a pleasant change. Then after I had mucked her out I had to hi-tail it into Kingston - taking care to stick to the speed limit of 30mph all the way..do you have any idea how difficult it is to stick to 30mph when the roads are empty? I have to attend a speed awareness course in three weeks time (instead of accepting 3 penalty points on my already murky driver's licence) so my speed awareness talents are being honed on a daily basis.
I arrived at work at 7.30am to set up for a big in-house event that was taking place today. Millie was with me so I had to tie her to an office chair - the chair had wheels so she was off dragging it round the office :) Very funny indeed. I didn't manage to get away from the office until after twelve thirty as I had another totally un-related issue to deal with.
Then I had to call at the horse supplies store in Hersham to buy shavings - due to the fact that I've been so busy this week I forgot to order any for delivery...doh! It was great just loading the heavy bales into the back of my big girl's truck...well actually it was great watching the man from the store loading them into the back of my big girl's truck - I'm a bit weedy to be doing that kind of stuff without assistance!!
Then I went home for a nap - lovely!! After I woke up I went to the yard and spent some quality time with my horse. When I've been at work with people, and talking to people, and e mailing people, and texting people all week, it's just really nice to spend some time without any people talking to me or at me, or over me, or about me, or trying to communicate with me in any way whatsover...and just 'being' with Phoebe. (I left my mobile and my crackberry in the car) She never says a word but she makes more sense than anybody else I know!
When I got home I went for a run with Millie - Millie's legs are about a tenth of the length of mine but she manages to keep up with me!!!
Then, when I got home, after a nice phone conversation with a good friend, I had the ultimate dinner. Bacon, sausage, tomatoes and fried eggs - with HP sauce of course!!! Perfect.
Now I'm off for a shower and then I'm going to bed.
Someone who means a lot to me and who is a regular reader of my blog is having a difficult time at the moment. Some difficult things that are now beyond their control are occurring. I found this quote and thought if they read it - it may help to make things a little clearer and less painful.
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by Dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Trust your instincts and when something feels right it probably is. If something unexplained propels you toward a certain course of action - it is probably the right course of action for you. And, most importantly have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Your heart already knows what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary"
Anyone who knows me will know that it's a very rare occasion when I take a drink. Last night I did. Only the one, and it was at the indian restaurant. I had a 'Cobra' beer. It comes in a pint bottle and I had to drink it all. I had the drink on behalf of someone who would have loved to have been there but couldn't be, and where they are (a long way away indeed) there is no alcohol.
The week so far......has been different to say the least!! Dan has left Uni and gone to Bruce's yard for the summer with Rupert. She likes it at Bruce's as she gets to spend lots of time working hard (!) she gets to stay in a lovely little house with a pretty stream running by the front door. She lives with two lovely girls called Abby and Bex and together they have a lot of fun. Bruce teaches her to ride better, and then they all go competing together. She spent all summer at Bruce's last year and I know that she would rather be there than here at home being bored. I'm off to see her competing at Longleat next Friday and I'm really looking forward to that.
Work has been 'same old...same old' but things have settled down somewhat since the redundancies and we have more of a structure now - which is much more preferable than the way it was before. I have even managed to finish work before 4pm every day this week, which means more time with Millie and Phoebe. That in itself is enough to keep me happy :)
My cosmic ordering result is arriving in just over two weeks time - so I am really excited about that - I still can't tell you what it is - but suffice to say it will be the best thing that has happened to me in a very very long time :) And related to the cosmic ordering I have been having some very interesting and enjoyable dialogue with a certain somebody, who shall of course, remain nameless for the time being.
Tonight I am going out for a curry and a beer with Lisa, Emma and Gabby...now that will be nice.
All in all June is turning out to be a very nice month. I hope the entire summer continues in the same vein.
I have a feeling that June is going to be a lovely time for me. There are a few nice things to look forward to this month. I'm taking a few days off work (What, more time off? In your Dickensian sweat shop office?) as a special friend is coming to visit for a few days. Dan and Rupert have some competitions this month which I will get to go and watch - as wild horses wouldn't keep me away ...pardon the pun. Whatsmore I am very happy that the weather has taken a turn for the better and the summer appears to be peeping at us from around the very next corner. I was up very early yesterday and took some pictures of the garden. The colours are glorious at this time of year, and every time I go outside and look at them it makes me happy. We are very blessed in this country to have so much green!!