Video Star

I have just finished editing the video from this morning. It has taken absolutely flipping ages .....like most of the day!!   Transitions and titles and faffing about with it. And now that it's finished it's over twenty minutes long. That means that it's far too large to put on Youtube and then post on here. So I've burned it onto DVD instead - and then tomorrow I will have to start again with the original footage and make a much shorter version for posting on here. I mean, seriously - who wants to watch over 20 minutes of some mad woman (with dodgy thighs in cream jodphurs) from Surrey riding her horse? No?, me neither!!!  When I went to the yard earlier it felt a bit chilly so I put Phoebe her new pink fleece rug on to keep her cosy tonight. Soon it will be time for clipping again. Oh yes - by the way - she was totally not bothered by the presence of the stallion next door. Personally I think she's just playing 'hard to get' !!!

ZZZZZzzzzzzz

Earlier - and I mean quite a bit earlier I had a little lay down on the sofa for a nap!!! I've only just woken up - and haven't been to give Phoebe her tea. I'm about 2 hours late. She'll be seeing red and will probably have eaten the stable door. OOOOPS!

A hole in the fence

Millie (naughty little white dog) has found another hole in the fence. She's just wandered off again only to be found in a big green field behind our fencing and hedging...where apparently some horses are kept (I didn't even know this field existed). I just went out to find her and came across a very nice lady in pink wellington boots trying to push Millie back through the fencing towards me. I could only see this lady's wellies and lower legs - because by now I was bent double scrabbling about under the bottom of the huge leylandi (which incidentally was  was dripping wet because of all the rain - so now I'm soaked through). Millie eventually came back through to be greeted by me being all sweetness and light with her because this lady was listening - when  really I wanted to seriously tell her off. However, I remember from dog training classes (what a waste of money that was!) that when an errant hound returns you have to praise them for coming back!!!. So I did... through very gritted teeth!!! The little white dog is now sitting at my feet looking suitable crestfallen :( You just have to love her !

Phoebe's first night with a Stallion

A new horse arrived at our yard last night and his stable is next to Phoebe's. He's a stallion - which means that he is 'entire' as opposed to a gelding - which is a male horse that has had his 'nads cut off. Stallions have a strange effect on mares (you don't say?) so I'll be interested to see what kind of mood she's in when I get to the yard shortly.  Obviously stallions have 'urges' and many more hormones racing through their bloodstream than geldings and so can't be left alone with mares. They are separated by a stable wall and some wooden panelling has been put up over the bars that separate them so that they can't bite each other through the bars. But she'll still know he's there and be able to sense his 'entirety'. Hmmm....a bit like girls when they're out on the pull. Phoebe has been known to be a bit of a 'winker' in the past (and I'm not going to explain that terminology - use your imagination) and even though she's middle aged - there's many a good tune played on an old fiddle!!!  I have a feeling she'll be in a bit of a strange - and un-cooperative mood today. 

Autumn is peeping round the corner!!

The weather forecast for today here in Surrey is a nice 24 degrees c before lunch - then thundestorms this afternoon. But look at it now.........it's all misty and autumnal. I love mornings like this. Autumn is on it's way......yippee!!....

Update 8.15am. Well the Met office and the BBC got it wrong today (what a surprise!) because right now it's lamping it down with rain and we've got thunder and lightening...how exciting. Millie is trembling by my feet. I love thunderstorms - especially when I'm indoors - however the filming of Phoebe may have to wait until later :(

Christ - I've turned into some kind of middle aged tit - going on about the weather. But I do love living in England and the unpredictability of our weather. Sunny days always feel like a bonus. I don't think I'd like to live somewhere where the weather is always the same. It must be quite boring to wake up every day and think, "I'm in Spain therefore it's going to be hot today". Where for 6 months of the year the only variant is one or two degrees in temperature. Besides - if we didn't have British weather - what on earth would we all talk about!! 

By the way - there's now some misty rain - it's that Peter kay 'wet rain'...."Right - everybody in!"

REM Orange Crush

I like this song - it's one of REM's more cheerful tracks. Most of their stuff is a bit 'slit your throat', but this one's quite upbeat and funky.

I'm not going to Australia

Girls - whatever you do - don't move to Australia . My friend Clare moved there last year and she has just sent me this link. I bet she's gutted. But also on the BBC website is this story!!! the funniest part of the second story is found about three quarters of the way down the page about the comments of a certain  Mr Molony....  Mr Molony has since refused to retract his remarks and insisted he is "a bloke who respects women"...... Classic!!!  Maybe I might go there after all!!! Maybe the grass is greener on the Australian side of the fence!!

Making a movie

Tomorrow morning Jo is going to come to the yard to film a movie of me and Phoebe. (Then I'm going to sell the movie for thousands...No, No, No...it's not THAT kind of movie!!!...mind you have you seen that movie clip with the girl and the stallion? - apparently she died!..... Mind boggling!) 

Anyway - if we're going to be film stars - we'd better scrub up a bit. Much grooming required. Brushing, polishing, tack cleaning, mane and tail shining, hoof polishing...then when I've done all that I will need to start on Phoebe :) I wonder which bandages and saddle cloth will look better for the filming, white ones or her new sugar pink ones? hmmm - difficult choice. Check back late tomorrow to see the movie on here and on 'Youtube' (that's if I can remember how to edit, and save and publish a movie clip...it's been a long time.)

I've got Jo a chair with 'Director' written on the back, and a clapperboard and a megaphone of her very own. Stephen Spielberg would be impressed.

LATER...  I have just done a google search to see if I could find the girl/stallion thing on the t'internet, and take my advice ...DON'T.  (because I know you all will - your curiosity and inate freakiness will make you - and don't pretend otherwise ...I can just hear you all now..."Me, look for equine porn on the internet..Never!!") Well, be it on your own head if you do. I just have and can't begin to tell you what popped up....loads of pop ups of things I didn't even know existed - let alone were practised enough for people to make a website about it. I'm in a state of complete shock. And, whatsmore I can't tell you the number of things that have just winked at me in the last three minutes !!!  You have been warned.

Note to self - Remember to feed the Cat!!!!

The Moody Blues - Nights in White satin´67

I cannot believe this song is over 40 years old - it's an all time classic and I love it. in 1967 I was 4 years old!!!! (and very cute too!) Love what they're wearing!!!

Green

Mucking out a horse with a hangover from hell? Green - green - green ....ugh

More Hangovers

All this talk of hangovers has prompted me to scribble about hangovers from the past, and drunken escapades...I have no clue as to why that would be - but there's no explaining my neural pathways at the moment..I'm hoping that in a short while they will return to the map route they've always followed...but for now we just have to go with the flow.....

The first one I remember was after my first nightclub outing at the tender age of 15. My brothers had been instructed (on threat of death) to look after me, and expressed their love for me by plying me with Babycham...for goodness sake!!. Did you know that red cherries look exactly the same on the way back out as they do going in?  That one took two days to get over.

Then there were eighteen months of hangovers straight. Every morning, and I mean every single morning. From the age of sixteen to seventeen and a half. I would get up for work (Midland Bank ....dull dull dull...needed to drink just to quell the boredom) go to the bathroom...my mother was convinced I was pregnant as I had morning sickness every single day!!! I couldn't stay in at that time with my Mum, and Dad and Grandma - so Gill Parker and I would go out every single night. Cider (evil evil brew) was 37 pence a pint, so that's 19p for a half, and because my Dad owned a pub we knew all the lads and very rarely had to buy a drink...result - you could get legless (and a cab home) for less than a fiver...so we did...every night!!  My morning hangover cure was a cheese salad sandwich with onions and salad cream, picked up from Hagenbach's bakers on the way to the bank at 8.30am.  Remembering this now is making me shudder. I still struggle to drink cider and I certainly never have a cheese salad sandwich with onions and salad cream!!

Other drinks I cannot touch include Pernod (ugh), Vodka and Lime (How sophisticated), White Wine (white wine hangovers include a very peculiar and distressing back-of-the-eye stabbing pain), and after a nasty gash in the back of the head - which bled a lot and required stitches (a night drinking with Massai Warriors in Kenya) - Tequila!!!  What is the salt and lemon thing about with tequila slammers?, and why do you have to drink it as if it's a competition????? It's a given that once the tequila bottle comes out it will be necessary at some point to phone for an ambulance. 

Once I passed my driving test I calmed down a bit as taking the car was more important than having a drink - but I still had some moments. 

Somebody reminded me a few weeks ago about an evening over Christmas/ New Year (1983) when I was 20 years old when we went to some kind of Medieval banquet thing at Eckington Hall, and I got very drunk indeed. Apparently It was funny to see me trying to climb on the table to get up and dance!!!

While I was in the Army - there were loads and loads of drunken episodes with hangovers to match. Especially in Cyprus - the land of the 'Brandy Sour'. If you've never tried a brandy sour - pop it in your list of 'things to do before I die'...they're great. Brandy, lemon juice and lemonade (and some other ingredients which I can't remember). They're a bit like rocket fuel. One minute you're doing fine, and the next...you're up, dancing and waving your knickers in the air, then two minutes later you've collapsed in a drunken heap in the corner snogging some random guy from another regiment. Facing them the next morning in the cookhouse when you've gone for your hangover fry-up is always a bit weird. I once woke up and peeled my face off the pillow to find two squaddies asleep on the floor of my room - two of them - not one - fortunately they were both fully clothed and nothing had happened!!!! Seriously - Brandy Sours are not good.

Then there are the times - too numerous to mention - when I've got drunk with Christian. He has this thing with his bottom lip when he's had a few. It sticks out. When we worked at the Rising Sun and they had a party - it was a given that we would end up bladdered. I lived next door so there was no driving involved. At one party at a flat in Woodseats I fell down a metal fire escape - from the first floor and landed in a pile of snow at the bottom. But I got up, went back inside and had another drink. That night I was drinking WKD...that's another one to be avoided at all costs. I think that was the night that Matt fell asleep in a skip and woke the next day covered white over with frost.

Dan's dad turned up one Sunday morning to collect her when she was about 4 years old to find me with my head in the kitchen sink - he very nearly called social services !!!!

As I have aged and therefore matured (ha ha) it's quite a rare thing for me to drink nowadays - mucking out horses in the early hours can be a wee bit difficult with a queasy stomach and a throbbing headache...but I have still had the odd moment - and therefore the odd hangover...like this morning. I can't remember the number of times I've uttered the words 'never, ever again', but for now... I really mean it.

  

Mojo

At the moment I'm having a bit of R&R. Two weeks off work - and therefore - there's no rush to do anything. I'm quite chilled out and relaxed ...however, the result is that my Mojo has gone missing. My Mojo is the part of me that motivates me to to keep busy and get my chores done.

So - no Mojo - No chores. You should see the state of the place....honestly it looks like Steptoe's yard. There are piles of stuff everywhere - clean clothes awaiting the iron, paperwork awaiting attention and filing, yesterday I even left a wet towel on the bathroom floor .......that's something I've never done before...it's all very bad and I need to get my act together...it's because I'm spending all my time writing on here and drinking gin. However - I have to say that I quite like the relaxed feeling, but perhaps I just need to find a bit of balance. I can't believe that one person and one little white dog can make so much mess!!

If you find my Mojo, could you send it home?

Hangover?

The marching band came down along main street

The soldier blues fell in behind

From where I stood I could see Billy

Waiting to go and join the line.....

and then they all turned sharp left - entered Tracy's head and started stomping about and playing the band music really LOUDLY...

Hangover? Throbbing Head? Wish you hadn't drunk so much of the 'Mother's ruin? ...not to mention singing on the train?.......OH MY GOD...never, EVER, again......I MEAN IT!!!

What colour is a hangover? This one is starburst green :(

Three rings

I've just 'phoned Jo and done three rings so that she knows I'm safe...ooh look at the time to be coming home after a night out up in town!!! Dirty stop out. 

I've been to Covent Garden tonight for a few drinks, and I have to say - I've had a few drinks!!!! London is great on a Friday night - everybody was really friendly and I had a great time. Covent Garden is a very cool place to go and there was even a busker in the middle of the square playing lovely music and keeping everyone entertained.  I had to get the tube home alone, and the late train (affectionately known as the 'vomit comet')...but that was the best part. I would have imagined that I would feel threatened and uncomfortable travelling on the tubes and train late at night - but no - people are very smiley and friendly. On the train back to Weybridge I met a lovely New Zealand couple called Jane and Gywn and we ended up sing a very raucous rendition of Dame Vera Lynn's "There'll be Bluebirds Over the White Cliffs of Dover". By the time we got to Surbiton the whole carriage had joined in!!!!...It was great fun!!! It's not true what they say about London people being unfriendly - not true at all.

I'm now back home having a late night snack attack (she's pissed)...toast and jam - toast and jam - toast and red strawberry jam...yum yum yum. Night Night everyone xxxxxxxxx   hic!

I don't do my banking in Banglahore

Okay - now I'm annoyed. I've just had a 'phone call from somebody who said they were from the bank. They called me on a withheld number. Then the young lady - who was clearly calling from some £1.50 per hour sweatshop somewhere overseas (I am assuming this because of her hardly decipherable accent and the whistling and crackling on the line) asked me if I was "Miss Davy" and asked me to confirm my date of birth. To an un-initiated caller, on a withheld number, clearly from overseas? When it's five years since I was Miss Davy? Not on your nelly. Not today, not ever. I would NEVER give out personal info like that on a call of that nature. But I bet lots of people do. Hundreds, if not thousands. And then they wonder how their bank accounts get raided and their credit ratings buggered about with.

The last time I looked my bank account was held up in Yorkshire - not in Banglahore - so if somebody from the bank wants to call me they had better start the conversation with a nice comforting  northern phrase like...."Eeeeh, as tha' gor owt moist?"

Fields of Gold

This song is wonderful - listen to the lyrics. Hauntingly beautiful. The video is a bit 'twee' but there isn't one out there of the wonderful Eva Cassidy singing it live. There's also a version of this song by Sting - but I prefer this one.

Plenty to say - as always!!

Last month I wrote 58 posts. So far this month I'm up to 52 (including this one). I wonder if I'll break the 58 and possibly get up to 60...that must be some kind of record? Surely? I've always been a gobby sod with plenty to say.....(it comes from being brought up in a home with two older brothers and a father who really could talk a glass eye to sleep..I had to fight to make sure I was heard:)...)

(That last paragraph is a screaming invitation for Christian to write some urbane and witty comment...I know he won't disappoint!)

Obviously I'll post some more music videos, and maybe some more pictures...and then there's all my inane ramblings each and every day!!! If I do manage to get up to 60 I shall be expecting many congratulations from my readers, and then that sets the bar for next month. Crikey - my work will be cut out.

I've got a busy weekend ahead - tonight I'm off to Covent Garden, and tomorrow night I'm going for a delicious Indian supper at Su's new house.

I like Covent Garden because it reminds me of that scene from 'Oliver" when they're all singing and throwing huge baskets of red apples and green vegetables around...but because of the early onset of Alzheimers I can't quite remember which song it is?.......I think it might be 'Consider yourself" but I'm not 100% sure (there'll be a comment appearing from Victoria confirming or disagreeing with that later...as she's a huge 'Oliver' fan too).

Actually I may get there early before the market and the shops close and go and buy some lovely food (fatty!).

Right - must dash - got to muck out the horse and walk the dog - and eat (!) lunch before dolling myself up for a night on the town...(The 'dolling up' involves scaffolding and paints and potions of many and varied colours....)

Coldplay...Yellow

I quite like some of Coldplay's stuff ....and some of I'm not so sure about. But I do like this track :)

Do you do this in yellow?

This afternoon -  in Kingston -  I met up with Su for a glass of wine and a snack. We sat outside because it was a lovely afternoon. This magnificent elderly lady walked by - she must have been about 90 years of age. She was wearing full make-up, and had her hair carefully coiffed!! The best thing about it for me was - even though she was practically bent double with arthritis she was wearing the most fabulous canary yellow outfit. Her dress, shoes, bag and jewellery were all bright sunny yellow...she looked amazing. It made me want to cheer!!! I only hope that I'm half as colourful when I get to her age. What a Dame!!!

Bracelet Charms

I went to 'Links of London' this afternoon in Kingston and bought some charms for my bracelet. I bought three. The red and silver hearts are because I am a big romantic at heart (really - you don't say!)

The silver letter 'D' stands for 'Danielle' and then finally the Artist's Palette charm because I really liked the splodges of red,  yellow and blue paint on it, and the teeny weeny brush!!!

Shaking like a Sh**tting Dog!!!!!

More from the wonderful Peter !!! I clearly have too much time on my hands today!!!

Dan and Rupert go large - Again!!!

Dan has just 'phoned to ask if I want to go and watch her eventing here next weekend. It means an overnight stay in Gloucestershire before a drive up to the Shropshire countryside early the next morning. I'll take my pink pyjamas then!!!

Booked it, packed it, f**cked off!!!

This is just for Jo .....More Peter Kay

The Best song ...EVER

My Mum and Dad bought this 45 single for me in about 1967. I love it and haven't heard it for ages. Of course I love it ...it's all about me, me, me!!!!! Obviously I know all the words and can sing the song all the way through...no decent video though - just twins off a knitting Pattern :)

Shopping

Today I'm going to Kingston to visit this shop. It's a great shop and they have some really unusual and lovely things. I bought Dan one of these sweetie bracelets for her birthday (I think they're called that because they remind us of those bracelets made of sweets - pink, yellow, pale green, blue etc - that little girls everywhere love!), and liked it so much that a few days later I went and bought one for myself too!! I only have one charm on mine - which is a silver stirrup (no shit-sherlock), but today I may go and buy a couple more to add to it. They do about eighty different ones - so I may be in there quite a while choosing!!!! I'll let you know later which ones I got!

MIllie barking

Millie has just been out in the garden for her morning ablutions and after last week's adventure I wasn't going to let her out of my sight. She tottered round the garden for a moment or two and then something in the bushes startled her (probably Brer Fox) and she came hurtling back faster than the speed of light!!! And furthermore - she was barking!!! Millie never barks - ever - so it was quite a surprise. My little white dog being all aggressive.....bless her she couldn't be aggressive if she tried. Mind you she was running faster than if she was wearing Usain Bolt's yellow trainers!!!

Now - she's had her breakfast and is back asleep!! What a life!

"Red" - Sammy Hagar

When I was about 15 I loved the band 'Van Halen'...those days were my heavy rock days - long hair and levis!!! Actually I still really really like rock music ...I think it's the rebel in me. I think that Sammy Hagar is a better singer than David Lee Roth, but it's a close run thing...I hope you enjoy this track :)

Showbiz you'd like......

I absolutely completely and utterly love Peter Kay and this is one of my all time favourite pieces.

Rainbow

This very very rude, and very very funny - It has to be a spoof episode - as there's no way on this earth that this could have been on Children's television, mind you they let them get away with Captain Pugwash and the Magic Roundabout...didn't they?...and is it just me or is Jeffrey a bit of a tw*t?

What's what?

At present I am going through a few changes (no, not THAT change!).  I'm undergoing some learning which requires looking at things in a different way.  The new way of seeing  things is challenging some of my longest held and strongest beliefs. There are many reasons why this is necessary and I won't bore you with them - because they're kind of irrelevant. What is relevant though is how bloody difficult it is. 

For things to change - you have to change...(or certainly you have to change the way you see things, and the way you think about and react to things.) ..that's the necessary thing - and change is one of the hardest things. When your core beliefs about who you are and where you fit in the world are challenged (by yourself) it leaves you standing on very shaky ground. Especially when  you've held those beliefs as strongly as I have and for as long as I have.  (Tracy.....?... have strong views and beliefs.?.....never!!!)

So right now I'm at a place where I'm no longer sure exactly what's what with myself. And let me tell you - it's weird and very unsettling. Once I've gained more insight and re-addressed the balance I'm sure it will be much better - but for the time being I just have to give myself up to the process, and trust in that same process. After all, as I always say "It'll be alright in the end, if it's not alright...it's not the end". 

I'm off work for the next two weeks and will try and fit in a short trip to Spain - so that will be nice, I always have a nice time whenever I go to Spain....might be something to do with the lovely weather...never a cloud in the blue, blue sky....and hopefully - in time - there won't be a single cloud left in my blue, blue sky.

Cutting Toe Nails

I've just used the clippers on Millie's toe nails. She clearly remembers last time (I'm still traumatised) because she acted like a complete wimp. Yelping and pulling her leg away as if I had the carving knife and was wearing Hannibal Lechter's mask! Anyway - they're done now and I didn't spill one drop of her precious red blood.

Drunk at Weddings

I just read Christian's post about his step-brother's wedding and it reminded me of his wedding to Victoria, and his brother Justin's wedding to Claire which were both held here.  I was invited to both weddings (and too many Christmas lunches to mention) as I am an honorary member of the Briddon family (and Christian is an honorary member of ours). At Justin's wedding I too got drunk, and fell asleep and dribbled all over a beautiful antique gold and turquoise brocade chaise longue in the lobby - before I was finally peeled off it and put on the coach to go home!! A wedding isn't a wedding unless you get plastered!!! I'm glad that Christian didn't let the side down!!!

I don't think so!!!

This is a description of a guy from a dating website that I joined three years ago - (I went out on two dates and had such a sh*te time that I never bothered again) - but every now and again they send me random descriptions in the hope that I will give them my credit card details, and re-subscribe....hmmm probably when hell freezes white over!!!

I am friendly and like reading and listening to documentary on world's issues like politics,economics and inter-diplomatics relations. I like creative ideas like stimulating educational discussions/topics. And I choice my freinds carefully. And above all, I am approachable kind of person.But when it comes to love and relationship I could be very possessive and caring.I hates lies and little tricks. I prefer to be fearless and outspoken sort of character.

He sounds like a right bag of laughs - doesn't he?....Ooooh quick - I must ring him!!!!

Where do the socks go?

What is it with socks and the washing machine? Where do they all go? I must own about thirty different pairs of socks - but today I couldn't make a matching pair. I have worn a brown sock and a pink sock today - and I know that somewhere I have another pair just like them!!!

Norman would have been proud!!!

Because of my experiences with Norman on Friday - on the way home from work today I decided to try - for the first time ever - to stick to the speed limit for the entire journey. Alongside  the River Thames on the Portsmouth Road, up past the Scilly Isles roundabout, past Sandown racecourse and through Esher and all the way along the Hersham bypass into Weybridge. It was very difficult indeed. I managed to piss off a white van man, a man driving a yellow JCB, a brown UPS van, and finally a middle aged, open necked shirt, medallion wearing, middle-aged lothario driving a silver porsche (are you trying to be a cliche?, or is it just a trick of the light?). 

The journey home took me about fifteen minutes longer than normal:)

Messing about with my Camera

I have a this big fancy camera that I bought two years ago and which I hardly ever use. Today I decided to go out into the garden and take some pictures of the lovely colours that there are out there. Beautiful deep rich colours with such strength and immense vibrancy.. wondrous colours that only Mother Nature can provide. Reds, yellows, pinks, lilacs, russets and many many more. I hope you like the pictures.

Happy Birthday Rosina

Yesterday - 24th - would have been my Grandmother's birthday - were she still with us. She passed away earlier this year at the grand age of ninety something. My Nana Rosina was a great character - with her Whisky and her Bingo and her jewellery and her fur coats, and her purple shiny nail varnish, and her fabulous italian heritage, and her legendary love of food (sound familiar?), and her big dangly earrings, and her refusal to turn grey (which resulted in some amazing hair colours!, latterly a bright coppery red) and her funny toes, and her issues with wind (!), and her flamboyant personality, and her dignity and her refusal to wear anything if it wasn't based around black - (do you do this dress in black?). We all miss her and she is the subject of many a hilarious tale when the family gets together. I have a lovely necklace of hers that she left for me in her will - a crystal bauble which shines every colour when you hold it up to the light, and I wear it in her honour most days. Happy Birthday Nana Rosina xxxx

Bank Holiday Monday

Well - it's another Bank Holiday Monday. Two and a bit years ago (Gosh - how time flies - that two and bit years has gone by so quickly!!) I wrote a long piece on here about Bank Holiday Mondays from the past here so I'm not going to do that again - just click on the word 'here' if you're interested enough to go back and read it. I do like Bank Holiday Mondays though. It's an extra day off from work, and it's a bit like a special gift. This one is the last one of the year, well until Christmas (how many shopping days - anyone?) but they kind of mark the passing of the summer. First you get Easter Monday, then Mayday, then Spring Bank Holiday and then finally the August Bank Holiday (today!).  September starts next week - and I love September - after all it's my birth month, but I love the way the leaves change and nature gets everything ready for the oncoming winter. It's not that I'm fed up of the Summer, because I'm not - but by the time September comes round I'm feeling ready for the change. Mind you - it does mark another year going by..which reminds us all of the inexorable passing of time - which can't be halted no matter how much we would sometimes like to stop it and take a bit of a breather!!

Soon, all the leaves on the trees will turn gold and red - which is the loveliest sight ever, the grass stops growing, and all the berries appear juicy and red on the trees - a veritable feast to be collected by little animals everywhere preparing for the long winter sleep (I wish I could have a long winter sleep!)

The weather gets cooler and crisper - something else that I always welcome, and I love those misty autumn early mornings which are quite peculiar to Britain. I even quite like it getting dark earlier and the shorter days because it means I can get cosy on the sofa without feeling guilty because I should  be out 'doing' more. I especially love those winter days when the sky is bright blue and the ground is frosty white - and the sun is shining a pale wintry yellow and everything is still and quiet first thing in the morning. It's quite magical.

When I was a girl I used to really like the beginning of October because that meant that that Halloween was coming, and then Bonfire night, and then it was just one more month until I could start getting excited about Christmas!!! Now I don't really like Christmas because it just means going into the red at the bank !!!

This October I have Amelia's Christening to look forward to - did I tell you that I have been chosen from thousands to be her Godmother? Honoured!!!

Anyway - enough waffling - whatever you decided to do on this last Bank Holiday Monday of the year - I hope you have fun !!! 

I can sing a rainbow

I Love this song. Really really love it. This girls' voice is so very beautiful. Red and yellow and pink and green, orange and purple and blue...I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too.

Top Gear Challenges

Tonight I've been to Jo and Tim's for dinner (what - more food...fatty?) and took this DVD to watch. Everyone who knows me is aware of my total and complete love for all things Top Gear related, and this DVD is no exception. Sadly we didn't have time to watch it all - but we really enjoyed the 'Stretch Limos with stars being delivered to the Brit awards' challenge - Chris Moyles in the red stretch Fiat Panda is so very very very very funny - there were tears rolling down my face, and then we watched the 'Robin Reliant Space Shuttle challenge'.  We completely cracked up watching James and Richard in their yellow hard hats watching it all go terribly wrong and crashing back down to earth in a huge orange fireball. Still to watch is the 'Amphibious Cars challenge', and the Bugatti Veyron v Captain Slow's  Aeroplane race across Europe, and more besides!!! That's me sorted for tomorrow evening then!!  

Quotes from the news this week

Some of these are quite funny!!! How ridiculous is Gary Glitter (Thursday 21st August) ?  What a ridiculous excuse for a human being that man is. In my humble opinion the dirty kiddie fiddling b**tard should have his nuts chopped off without anaesthetic, with a blunt rusty knife, and then should be made to eat them himself. 

Movie Review

Last night I stayed home and had a lovely steak for dinner with a green salad. I was tired after riding and doing boring household stuff all day. I had a dvd which I bought last week to watch. It was this movie which I thought would be great because it starred Sean Bean -one of Sheffield's finest exports...(did you know that I've met him? Yes, he gatecrashed a party I was hosting - together with Christopher Lambert from 'Highlander'....name dropper). But I was gutted when I realised that his character was supposed to be from Essex so he had dropped his lovely Sheffield accent and replaced it with a ridiculous faux - Essex one. It was quite laughable, and truly awful. The movie was shite, and I couldn't get my head round the plot at all.  So - my recommendation - don't spend any of your hard earned green stuff on buying this movie - I have a copy and would LOVE to give it away!!! 

Sunday lunch with Su

Today Su and I went to Sullivan's in Weybridge for sunday lunch. It was - as always - delightful!! I had Roast Beef, and all the trimmings - Potatoes, carrots, greens, Yorkshire Pudding etc etc - with lashings of hot horseradish sauce (it's the only 'hot' thing I like - and I love it when the steam comes down your nose), and Su had roast Pork. When it came to choosing dessert I was told to be careful with desserts -  at my age (!) - because I would end up fat!!!! - well that set me off in a flat spin panic and I had to go and ask some people at the next table if they thought I was getting fat!!! (They had never met me before so it was a bit pointless me asking them!)   When they said no I went ahead and ordered fruit crumble and custard. The fruit crumble was made with red berries and it was lovely - but the comment had struck home and I couldn't bring myself to finish it. On the way back to the car I kept checking in shop windows to make sure that I'm not fat...

Careless comments costs lives!!! In  my case a careless comment could just cost me my love of puddings. She's just jealous - green with it in fact!!!

Colours

I found this poem on the web this afternoon and I thought it was quite lovely. I love colours and how they make you feel. This poem was written by an eleven year old girl and I think it's rather special.

Colours

Age 11

Red is the colour of anger,
welling up inside of me.
Orange is the colour of fun,
and all my happy energy.
Yellow is the colour of the sun,
which makes me feel happy and warm.
Green is the colour of giggles and laughs,
midnight feasts in a boarding school dorm'.
Blue is the colour of calm and cool,
like swimming in a summer pool.
Purple is the colour of arty ideas,
crayons and pencils and paint.
Pink is the colour of blushing and happy,
love and kisses and all stuff that's sappy.
Colours describe how we feel every day,
so listen to colours. 
They'll help you find your way.

Wembley - England v Czech Republic

On Wednesday night Jo, Su and I went to Wembley to watch the footy. You all know I'm not a big footy fan - and I still don't get the offside rule. Jo's boss has an exec box at the new stadium, and therefore gets tickets to everything that happens there. The tickets were going begging - so Jo begged them and bagged them. The tickets for an exec box include free dinner and drinks all evening - and also include waiting staff to bring those drinks to you as you sit watching the game. Very nice too!! 

Anyway - the game was crap - it ended in draw - and can somebody please explain to me when tackling stopped being a part of the game of football? Mind you I did get to look at Beckham's legs - which let's face it - is a bonus. But the atmosphere was amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. When England scored in the final seconds of the game I was so excited that I very nearly pee'd my pants!!!

The dinner was amazingly yummy (no bovril and meat pies for us) and getting ushered upstairs - away from the hoi-polloi made me feel very special indeed. Our box had patio windows which lead to the outside seats where you can sit and watch the game - or alternatively there is a huge widescreen tv inside the box where you can sit and watch it if you prefer. 

I would say that an Exec box at Wembley is certainly the way forward - all I need to do now is marry a millionaire!!!

Millie at the Garden Centre

Yesterday morning I was in a bit of hurry as I had to get to Islington (see previous post) and I let Millie out into the garden for her usual ablutions! She normally goes out - does what she has to do and then comes back in  for a sleep as eating breakfast is OH SO TIRING!. I went in the shower, and noticed that she hadn't come back. By the time I had dried my hair - still no Millie. 

I went to the door and shouted her - simultaneously shaking her treat jar at the door - that particular method always brings the desired result in about three nano seconds - but it, too failed. Two minutes later the 'phone rang. It was the nearby Garden Centre (well actually it was a staff member from the Garden Centre - obviously not the actual Garden Centre - that would be impossible) to tell me that they had Millie! Thank goodness that she has a phone number on her collar tag. Apparently she was spotted by a passing motorist wandering by the side of Seven Hills Road (very busy - very fast road). When I got there to collect her she was enjoying the undivided attention of four staff members who were all making a huge fuss of her. She looked at me as if to say 'I'm having fun - don't even think about taking me home' - a bit like men do when they're enjoying a party and you want to get home because the babysitter needed to be taken home two hours ago - you know the look!

The staff then proceeded to tell me that Fifi (killer cat) is a regular visitor there too!!! She pops round most days!!! Obviously Millie must have followed Fifi - who will know all the escape routes through the garden fencing.  

I'm going to have to keep a closer on eye on her from now on. 

Norman

I've been a bit lacking in the 'Blog' department this week. I don't know why as I'm usually far more prolific than this. Can't even say it's because I've been really that busy as I haven't!!! Anyway this morning I have plenty to say (no change there then?) Firstly I am going to tell you about Norman (made up name). Yesterday I went to London for the second attempt to attend the "Drivetech Speed Awareness Course". You may remember that this was to avoid points on my license. The man who ran the course was perhaps 60 years old and we shall call him Norman. The course was due to last two and half hours. And, my goodness Norman made sure it lasted every second of that. I have been known to deliver courses in the past (..and very good at it you are too...Ed) and I know that keeping your audience entertained is paramount. Norman didn't know this. It was without a doubt the dullest two and half hours of my life - EVER.  Had Norman used some voice inflection, body movements, eye contact, props, or anything else - perehaps it could have been slightly more fun - and therefore a better opportunity to learn - but no. Also - and this adds another two points on the irritation scale - he had those really dreadful 'whistling' false teeth. Ugh.

After the first 90 minutes every internal part of me was screaming in utter boredom. I remember thinking at one point that I hoped Norman wasn't married - because if he was he would be one of those husbands that winds up dead....murdered in a fit of total frustration by his wife (let's call her Brenda), who had endured 30 years of his irritating demeanour - with a smack around the head by the iron after uttering one mind-numbingly boring diatribe too many. 

Norman didn't  like it at all when some of the delegates began the debate about speed cameras not improving safety but merely being a means for revenue raising - (not really surprising seeing as we were all there because of speed cameras) Norman was obviously well versed in the Government mantra about that, and turned into a monotone robot - simply repeating the statistics regarding the improvements in death rates since their introduction. (That may - or may not have something to do with the improved safety features built into modern cars - but we will never know as we weren't allowed to have the discussion...and anyway - do any of us REALLY trust government statistics?) . He wasn't able or willing to actually engage in any debate whatsoever, and became even more robotic when the 20mph speed limit over Tower Bridge was mentioned .

By the end I was repeatedly muttering "Get on with it....hurry up........can I go now please?" under my breath, and was just about to stand up, smack him one and tell him I'd rather have the points than listen to one more second of his dreadful voice, when suddenly - it was all over!!!

I have never run from a building so fast in my life!!! 

Camel Toe

I'm sorry - this is not my normal post at all - as I don't usually do rude - but this had me laughing out loud all the way through. It's very very very funny!!!

A good turn - free wine - and then apple crumble!!

This evening when I was going to the yard to put Phoebe to bed for the night there was a guy standing at the side of the road at the entrance to the Hill (where we live). He looked lost and was speaking on his mobile phone. I stopped and asked him if he needed any help. He was waiting for his friend who was lost and was stuck at Tesco's car park at Brooklands. I spoke to his friend on the phone and rather than take ten minutes to direct him to where we were I just told his friend to hop in and drove him  round to Tesco - then  let them follow me back to the Hill. When we got back to the Hill I used my gate tag to let them into the estate - where they were visiting a friend's house for a party. 

They were very grateful. Later on when I was coming back, they were waiting for me outside the house they were visiting, flagged me down  and invited me in for a glass of wine!!! So in I went - in my smelly riding gear - into a posh house - dropping bits of straw hay all over their carpets!! How lovely!! What a nice way to meet new friends!!!

Then when I got home - finally - Dan had cooked dinner. It was fab. And for dessert we had home-made apple crumble made with some delicious apples from Jan's dad's apple farm, with fresh cream. You can see from the picture that Dan is very proud of her cooking skills. 

Noisy Neighbours

I've just been reading today's morning paper. (I won't tell you which one because I wouldn't like anyone to second guess my political leanings) and there were two stories about council tenants getting into trouble and being served Noise Abatement Notices. Music? Television? Shouting? Noisy Children? Lawn mowers before 9am at weekends?....not at all - one lady tenant of Tremadog, North Wales, aged 57 for flushing the toilet in the middle of the night..and the other was a single mum aged 29 from Brighton for having sex too noisily!!! Apparently the noise of her shouting and the headboard banging on the wall became too much for her neighbours to cope with!!!  Personally I think they were just eaten up with jealousy!!!

Dan's Birthday Lunch

Gosh - you don't look old enough to have a nineteen year old daughter!!! 

Tuesday's Child

15th August 1989 : American hostages were being held in Iran and Lt. Col. William Higgins was murdered. President George H. Bush said that he didn’t retaliate militarily because the rest of the eight hostages might be killed if he did. 

That's what happened on the 15th August 1989. Another very important thing happened on that day too!!! Our Dan was born. It was a Tuesday and she waited all day and finally arrived at 18:45 - by which time I had just about given up the will to live!! Today she is 19, Happy Birthday Dan.  She is beautiful, clever, funny, so brave, independent, hardworking, kind, gentle and  generous of spirit. She is without a doubt the very best thing I have in my life and she means the absolute world to me. I am so very proud of her and I love her with all my heart. Her name 'Danielle' means 'Gods chosen one' and that is very appropriate for her!  Tuesday's child is full of Grace. 

I've eaten at the land of the Golden Arches...Urrgh

Today I broke a golden life rule. There aren’t many golden life rules in my life – basically because rules tend to make me rebel and behave in an obstreperous way and go against the grain, therefore it would be quite silly for me to impose rules upon myself. However there are one or two rules that I am quite happy to have in my book and the one I broke today is one of those. The rule is ‘Never, ever eat a MacDonald’s’. The reasons for this particular rule are numerous and varied. The quality (?) of the meat –MacDonald’s is 100% beef – that’s because they put the whole cow in a huge mincing machine – so you get EVERY part of the cow. (Hooves, skin, eyeballs, guts – everything….uuurgh!). The food is processed to within one inch of its life, and the fries are no more potato than I am (no comments please Christian – and yes,  I know I bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Potato Head). The quality of staff (or lack of quality) in a Macdonald’s store  - even with their ridiculous gold star awards – is so poor that they would make the staff in the neighbouring ‘Poundland’ store look like close relatives of Albert Einstein. I would never normally contemplate eating anything that had been prepared in the same county as them – let alone on the same counter top. Marry that with the fact that when I worked for Rentokil I saw more than my fair share of filth and grime in the back kitchens of Macdonalds premises around West Yorkshire, and you will understand why in more than 5 years anything from that particular establishment has not passed my lips.

 

However, today I broke the rule. It’s Cherrie’s fault as we were hungry – and she had a hangover and had been up most of the night with some guy – therefore chemically processed and irradiated carbs and annihilated pseudo-protein were what she required, nay craved – also – she is much younger than I am so her body can probably cope with the onslaught of poisons, chemicals and e numbers that go hand in hand with ingesting a Macdonald’s. I on the other hand, cannot cope. My Body is a temple and I leave the boots on the outside.

 

After my ‘Big Mac’, regular fries, sour cream dip and regular coke – I now feel dreadful. Sluggish, sick, compromised, ashamed, dirty, and such a slag. Tonight I will no doubt glow in the dark. No doubt at all. I knew there was a very good reason why I don’t eat Macdonald’s. I hereby make a pledge to  the “Health-Police’ and anybody else who is interested that it will be a very long time before I ever make that mistake again.

 

 

Peter Kay

I have just watched this DVD, and, over the weekend another 3 of his DVD's. Peter Kay is my favourite comedian. I have laughed myself hoarse. It's very northern - so perhaps anyone south of Sheffield just wouldn't get it - but his observational style is hilarious.  He talks about Rich tea biscuits being 'one-dips' whereas Hobnobs are the Marines of biscuits. (Dip me again). He reminds us all of taping the top 40 on a Sunday afternoon - just after watching "Bullseye"..."For £4, can you spell hermaphrodite", and much much much more. Nana's on the phone, odd chairs at Christmas, Uncle Knobhead and his wife (the one with the beehive and a face like a smacked arse) dancing at family weddings, and so on and so forth. He's very very very very funny. And if you ever get the chance to watch the Dvds I suggest you do. "Cheesecake? Are my ears playing tricks on me? Dirty Bastards...not in my lifetime!!!!!!"

Delinquent kids in Burnley

On tonight's BBC evening news there has just been a story about an 11 year old boy in Burnley who hit a neighbour full in the face with a piece of piping. The story was about the local police finding the boy and taking him to apologise to his victim. The debate at the end of the story was 'who is to blame for young people and their anti-social behaviour?'  Well I could give you chapter and verse about that particular subject. We were all a bit delinquent when growing up (see previous post about cider, cigarettes, boys and rock music) but I knew where to draw the line - because if I went over it I would get a thick ear from my Mum, or the cane at school. My brother got caught shoplifting when he was 14 and my dad took him into the garage and gave him the pasting of his life. Nowadays he would get arrested for assault on a minor - but my brother will tell you that he has never stolen another thing in his life since. 

I'm not saying that 'corporal punishment' is the way forward - but I think the trouble with some kids today is that they never come up against the point where it's clear to them that they can go no further.

When we were kids we knew that for everything we did wrong (and were found out) there was a cost involved. (which is exactly how life is for us adults) You weighed up if the cost was worth it and the made your decision. My Parents were consistent and fair - but we never got let off with the 'Oh he's just being creative' line, or 'she's going through a difficult time'. I once broke a window and my dad made me pay for the replacement glass (and I had to go with him to the merchant's to fetch it), and pay for his time to re-glaze the window. From that I learned to be more careful with the football in future, and never broke another one. Even accidents had to be put right. We knew how to behave, had respect for our parents and our home, and took turns in doing household chores as soon as we were old enough to contribute. Dan has been brought up with those principles and most people who know her would tell you what a nice girl she is. (blow, blow, blow that trumpet... Trace!)

If I was the neighbour I think I would be tempted to hit the boy full in the face with a piece of piping so he knew how it felt. You can bet he'd think twice before he did that again!!!

Fantasy Cabinet

Today - in the Sun newspaper there was an article about a Fantasy Cabinet. Here's my suggestions..

Minister for Roads and Transport - Jeremy Clarkson (no more speed cameras..yaaaay)

Chancellor of the Exchequor - Carol Vorderman

Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs - Michael Palin

Secretary of State for Health - Johnny Vegas

Secretary of State for Business - Alan Sugar

Secretary of State for Defence - Alf Garnett

Secretary of State for Food - Gordon Ramsay

Secretary of State for Rural Affairs - John  Noakes

Secretary of State for Children - Timmy Mallett

Secretary of State for Leisure - Cynthia Payne

Secretary of State for Wales - Dame Shirley Bassey

Secretary of State for Northern England - Peter Kay

Secretary of State for Southern England - Peter Kay (he'd soon sort the buggers out)

Secretary of State for Scotland - Billy Connolly

Secretary of State for Justice - Judge Judy

Secretary of State for Women - Kim and Aggie (quarter job share with Trinny and Susannah)

Secretary of State for Men - Julian Clary

......and last but not least - the Prime Minister's job would go to Terry Wogan.

I'd vote for that Cabinet!!!!

Neil Diamond

Today in HMV (see post below) I bought this. It's Neil Diamond's latest Album. I have loved Neil Diamond for about 20 years. His songs are so very powerful and meaningful and often very moving. I say him live at Sheffield Arena in 1991 on the 4th July - and when he sang "America"....huge US stars and stripes flags unfurled from the ceiling and it was one of those moments when the music and atmosphere moves your very soul.

This new album is very good - but his voice has lost some of its power and strength - which is real shame. I will listen to it a few more times and then let you know which are my favourite tracks. My favourite Neil Diamond song of all time is "Hello". - and my favourite Neil Diamond album is the little known "Jonathan Livingstone Seagull" - which - if you're interested is the soundtrack from a movie, from a book which is indeed about a seagull!!! For a brief synopsis of the story (which is a wonderful tale) go here.

Garlic Bread?

Eleven thirty am. Bentalls Centre. 2nd Floor. HMV. Peter Kay DVD (Hoorah......!) Recent stresses. Weight loss. Trousers too large - waist too skinny - hanging down. Heel caught. TRIP. Tracy Sprawled on floor in very undignified way. Old lady of 152. "Are you alright dear? Let me help you up".  The shame.

One thirty pm. Sofa. Bruised knees. Bruised ego. Peter Kay DVD on TV. Large VSOP cognac for the shock. "GARLIC BREAD? Bread...with garlic? !!!!"

Hope your leg's not bust Bruce

Bruce who Dan works for had an horse related accident today. The "HRA" is something all riders dread - because they are sometimes fatal - and the very nature (size, strength and flight instinct) of the animals we deal with make the outcome of an accident totally unpredictable. I've only ever had three "HRA"s - one involving my toe nearly being ripped off by a pony's hoof, one involving my knee and Phoebe's knee, and one involving a black plastic bag - a hedge - a breeze - a cantering pony suddenly shying sideways - and a mouthful of grass and soil and very sore leg. 

The horse he was riding slipped on the tarmac, (see - unpredictable!) his back legs slipped underneath him and then he fell over backwards on top of Bruce. Dan was there so she had to put the horse back on the lorry (all scraped and scratched on his back legs and his rump!). Bruce meanwhile had called an ambulance - his ankle had swelled - but as all riders do he had the foresight to quickly remove his italian leather long riding boots before the swelling got too bad and they had to be cut off (the only time a rider will get their boots cut off is if they are unconscious...boots first - everything else second! It's hilarious that when a rider hurts their leg any other rider will always ask "were your boots okay?" before they ask about the real injury :)

Anyway when the ambulance came the medic asked how bad the pain was on a scale of 1 - 10. Bruce said a 9. Bruce is a very hardy kiwi chap - so his 9 is everyone else's 12. The medics gave him morphine (whoop - di -doo) and then took him to hospital. He's got a pot on as the xrays were inconclusive, and has to go back tomorrow for a second opinion. He'll be screwed if it's broken as that means 12 weeks of not riding and he's got the rest of the season's events to compete in.

Fingers crossed that he'll be okay. 

Dan does Arachnophobia

Our Dan has a pathological and illogical fear of spiders. Sometimes it gets to the point of silliness. Many is the time she has screamed in a bloodcurdling way - I have gone running (as you do when you think your only child is about be skewered alive!) only to find a tiny spider on the windowsill, and my beloved daughter shaking and sweating and crying and squalling as if she'd been faced with a rabid tarantula. I have told her off for freaking me out many times, as I rescue the poor little spider and gently put it outside. She's away living in the rural far reaches of Gloucestershire for the summer, and the other evening she found a "Huge" spider in her room. She was home alone as Abby had gone to the cinema. So she rang her boyfriend Jan who was apparently at home playing playstation games with his mate Ian. (That's their story and they're sticking to it). Ian answered the 'phone and Dan asked him (between sobs) what to do about the spider.  Ian (not knowing any better) told her to get a piece of paper and let the spider 'run' onto the paper. At this moment Jan shouted out to tell Ian to say "Let the spider stroll nonchalantly onto the paper - for christ's sake don't tell her that the spider will RUN". 

Anyway - she finally managed to get rid of the spider - but I know how hard it was for her because she then text me to say how ill she felt!!! I have no clue where she gets this from - it's definitely 'nature' and not 'nurture' because no-one else in the family has arachnophobia.

Bless her :)

Who would be a bus driver?

 A little kid gets onto a London bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' 
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'' 

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!'' 

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!'' 

Tom Daley

How amazing is this boy? His name is Tom Daley and he is part of a 2 man team competing at this summer's olympics in Synchro diving (that's 2 people diving exactly the same dive at the same time). . Good Luck to him and his partner, Blake Aldridge. That's one event that I shall be watching at the summer Olympics - that and all the horsey stuff of course! He is only 14. When I was 14 I could have been an Olympic champion in Woodpecker cider, Silk Cut Cigarettes, Van Halen, Todd Rundgren, Thin Lizzy,  Levi jeans, and the boys from the Ecclesall Lawn Tennis Club, especially the very lovely championship players Stewart Wright and John Burnham - (who is now my dentist - weird eh?).