Monday, 11 August 2008

I've eaten at the land of the Golden Arches...Urrgh

Today I broke a golden life rule. There aren’t many golden life rules in my life – basically because rules tend to make me rebel and behave in an obstreperous way and go against the grain, therefore it would be quite silly for me to impose rules upon myself. However there are one or two rules that I am quite happy to have in my book and the one I broke today is one of those. The rule is ‘Never, ever eat a MacDonald’s’. The reasons for this particular rule are numerous and varied. The quality (?) of the meat –MacDonald’s is 100% beef – that’s because they put the whole cow in a huge mincing machine – so you get EVERY part of the cow. (Hooves, skin, eyeballs, guts – everything….uuurgh!). The food is processed to within one inch of its life, and the fries are no more potato than I am (no comments please Christian – and yes,  I know I bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Potato Head). The quality of staff (or lack of quality) in a Macdonald’s store  - even with their ridiculous gold star awards – is so poor that they would make the staff in the neighbouring ‘Poundland’ store look like close relatives of Albert Einstein. I would never normally contemplate eating anything that had been prepared in the same county as them – let alone on the same counter top. Marry that with the fact that when I worked for Rentokil I saw more than my fair share of filth and grime in the back kitchens of Macdonalds premises around West Yorkshire, and you will understand why in more than 5 years anything from that particular establishment has not passed my lips.

 

However, today I broke the rule. It’s Cherrie’s fault as we were hungry – and she had a hangover and had been up most of the night with some guy – therefore chemically processed and irradiated carbs and annihilated pseudo-protein were what she required, nay craved – also – she is much younger than I am so her body can probably cope with the onslaught of poisons, chemicals and e numbers that go hand in hand with ingesting a Macdonald’s. I on the other hand, cannot cope. My Body is a temple and I leave the boots on the outside.

 

After my ‘Big Mac’, regular fries, sour cream dip and regular coke – I now feel dreadful. Sluggish, sick, compromised, ashamed, dirty, and such a slag. Tonight I will no doubt glow in the dark. No doubt at all. I knew there was a very good reason why I don’t eat Macdonald’s. I hereby make a pledge to  the “Health-Police’ and anybody else who is interested that it will be a very long time before I ever make that mistake again.

 

 

2 comments:

  1. I actually think you are wrong and that not ALL the cow is used in Macdonald's burgers. I would guess that the reason their burgers are so crap is because they are actually made up of MRM or 'Mechanically Reclaimed Meat'.

    MRM is meat residue which is left on the carcass after all the prime cuts have been removed.

    It is pressure-blasted off the bones by machinery and forms a reddish slurry which resembles mince.

    Therefore all the cow is not used because the best bits have already gone. Just the crap is used.

    This has to be the case as I have never eaten '100% beef' that tastes as crap as a Big Mac!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I actually think you are wrong and that not ALL the cow is used in Macdonald's burgers. I would guess that the reason their burgers are so crap is because they are actually made up of MRM or 'Mechanically Reclaimed Meat'.

    MRM is meat residue which is left on the carcass after all the prime cuts have been removed.

    It is pressure-blasted off the bones by machinery and forms a reddish slurry which resembles mince.

    Therefore all the cow is not used because the best bits have already gone. Just the crap is used.

    This has to be the case as I have never eaten '100% beef' that tastes as crap as a Big Mac!!

    ReplyDelete