Tuesday 31 August 2010

Limp lap-top

Following a hissy fit last night during which I punched my laptop and very nearly threw it out of the window (I don't know - you just don't get these issues with a Mac......) Today I went to buy a new laptop. Mine - which I've only had a year - is so crammed with shite that it runs slower than a snail's pace. I used it extensively while I was displaced as my beloved I-Mac was in storage. 

In Curry's I was gutted to realise just how expensive they are - at least for a good one. 

So following the advice of a pal - I went to PC repair shop near my house and my little laptop is booked in tomorrow for a 24 hour period during which its hard drive will be wiped completely and Windows etc will all be re-installed. The result will be like a new laptop. (I can't wait). 

All for the princely sum of just £59.

I love a bargain :)


Today I was chatting to somebody and explaining to them all about Maslow. Who's he? Well he's not the guy who works down the chip shop - that's for sure. He theorised about the heirarchy of needs. As you can see above - as humans we have many needs - bodily needs, emotional needs and spiritual needs. Very simply the theory goes that when one range of needs are met (starting at the bottom of the triangle) we then become concerned with the next set of needs.

It's very true. If you're hungry and don't have a roof over your head - that issue will become all encompassing - however - once you have a home with food in the larder - something else becomes important. It's a very big subject - and very interesting to learn about. The diagram above is very simplified - but it just shows the stages that we go through in our goals. Before we can move up a level - our needs on the level we are at must be met.

If you'd like to know more - read this (and anything else you can find)

That's all folks x

PS - The credit for me knowing about Maslow goes completely to my dear dear friend Mr Dennis Carr who taught me this stuff some twenty two years ago :)

Monday 30 August 2010

Dan said the loveliest thing....

Dan's home for a couple of days. We were preparing dinner together this evening and she was talking about her best friend, Emily. Then she said to 'You're my real best friend, Mum'.

I had no idea that she thought of me that way. It brought a huge lump to my throat - I can tell you. What bigger compliment can a girl pay to her Mother?

Sunday 29 August 2010


Sorry I haven't been here for a while - but I've been a bit busy. Just doing 'stuff' - you know how it is. Nothing really to report. How boring is that?

Catch up soon -  promise X

Sunday 22 August 2010

Biggles Update

Here I am - all ready to go!!! (Pooing my pants - actually!)

You can see our 'ouse from up 'ere!!!

Me - flying the plane - (look at my handbag clutched on my lap!!!)

Today I've been on the best first date ever. With a Pilot. He took me flying. Doesn't get any cooler than that!! And what's more I quite liked him. 

Will I be seeing him again? Yes - probably :)

Saturday 21 August 2010

X Factor is back :)

Did you watch the 'X Factor" tonight? I just love that programme. Especially the beginning few weeks when the auditions are on. It's the best thing on TV by a mile. It is so damn funny and it makes me laugh out loud and cringe a lot. I love it. 

Once the auditions are over and it becomes all serious - I can take it or leave it - but I just love the great British public with their delusions of talent!!!! (and secretly I am in love with Simon)...(I would also do a turn with Cheryl)...(and what has happened to Louis - has he had a hair weave this year?)


Oh My God - tomorrow I'm going out for lunch and then I'm going flying!!!! A very nice American guy (note - when they're American - they're 'Guys' - not 'chaps') called me tonight from the dreaded dating website. He's an private charter airline pilot - and he's got his own 'plane. 

He's picking me up after my morning breakfast with Jacqui and whisking me away ....how exciting is that? Talk about fantastic first dates!!! That one would beat all the other first dates I've ever had right into a cocked hat!!!

The only deciding factor is that it depends on the weather - so everybody keep your fingers crossed for a great weather here tomorrow :)...mind you - he did say that if the weather isn't great he's going to bring his picnic hamper and we'll have champagne and raspberries in a little country park instead.

How ideal does that sound?

I'll keep you posted!

PS - Thinking about it - he'll probably fly me to Morocco where he will have previously arranged to sell me to a slave trader......

More Afternoon Movies

This afternoon Fifi and I have watched this movie. We also scoffed delicious cream and Jam scones. This is another of my collection of beloved 1960's British kitchen sink drama movies that I love so very much.

This one stars Susan George, James Mason, Rodney Bewes and a host of others you would instantly recognise.

It all starts with a herring - and unfolds from there...

It is a fabulous movie - and we were wooping with delight when we recognised items such as egg cups and table cloths identical to the ones our mothers had when we were small. 

I can recommend this film - very highly X

Congratulations Jane!

I have a special friend who lives in London. We are blogging pals and FB friends. She's a musician and uber talented. We met up in London a while back and had a nice evening out sharing shushi and conversation. I like her...and well - she's fallen in love with a great man and just got engaged. She is also one of the original Princess Shiny Diamond Girls. She has her own Tiara and everything !

Apparently she's very happy - and I am so pleased for her. Champagne all round I think ....


The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. The rain in England falls mainly on Sheffield. Every day I get news from my pals far and wide of 'how sunny it is here'...and to be honest - I'm a bit narked by it all. It's rained here every day for what seems like forever. We had a few sunny spells back in June - and - well - that was our summer. 

I have a pretty little garden that I would love to sit out in - complete with very nice patio set of four chairs and a table - made from hardwood which I have lovingly oiled and cleaned - but at this present moment it's covered in its winter clothing and hasn't seen the light of day for weeks. 

In nine days time it will be September - and then all chance of balmy summer evenings will be over. It will soon be time to put the central heating on and get out the winter coats. Face the biting winds and dig out the woolly hats and scarves. Electric blanket and Christmas shopping beckons.....

Bloody hell.

Friday 20 August 2010

Dear Boris

As you know I am pretty 'au-fait' with all things IT. As a result of my far reaching and extensive knowledge (wry smile) and the wonders of modern software - I am always aware when you read my blog. You have been informed of this before - but still you continue. It feels like you are stalking me.

I would really like you to STOP peeping into my life in this way. It's creepy and un-nerving....and grossly and massively unfair. How would you like it if I was to come to your house and peer in through your living room windows?

You've had enough time now - perhaps you should move on?

Lots of Love  - Wanda x

Three dates

All of a sudden things are hotting up on the dating front. Next week I have got three. That's three dates to go out on. Three new chaps to meet. How exciting (!)....

Date 1 - Not actually from the dating website - got in touch with this chap through a random telephone chat regarding internet security - after somebody attempted to run a 'ripper' on this blog. (What's a ripper?...it's a small programme which quickly copies your entire website and downloads it to someplace else.) Highly illegal (I think) and very naughty. I'm taking a big chance here because I have no idea what he even looks like. But we've chatted on the phone and he makes me laugh. I like that.

Date 2 - A nice gentleman from Hathersage. At 57 - he's a bit older than I would normally go for - but his picture is nice and we've had a nice chat on the 'phone and he seems lovely. Once again - he's an IT consultant - and has lived in South Africa for the last few years. Seems interesting.

Date 3 - A Company Director from Milton Keynes. We're meeting for dinner on Bank Holiday Monday - he's driving up here - nice manners you see. We've chatted on the 'phone and he seems to be on the same kind of wavelength. His picture looks nice too.

Of course - if nothing else it's nice to make new friends. So let's see what happens.

By the way - this week I signed up for another dating website - which was free. Now I've been on it for two days - without a profile photograph - I know why it's free. I've had over a 150 messages and most of them are extremely choice in their content. These people are very forward.....and suggestive...and please can you explain why somebody would suggest a 'shag' when they've never even seen a picture - let alone had any contact? Am I living on another planet?

Thursday 19 August 2010

Giddy Kipper

I am so excited - my website is nearly ready to launch - oh it's fab...so cool - the designer has done a great job...it's funky and cool and I love it....love it....love it.

So far I am having a great week. All of a sudden everything is coming together is the best way possible. 

Good times ahead - I can feel it in my water !!

Sunday 15 August 2010

More Birthday Pics

My baby girl is all grown up

Today is Dan's 21st birthday. Happy Birthday Dan. I love you with all my heart. I am very proud of all you have achieved and the beautiful young woman you have become. I wish you every success in your future - with your career, with your life and with your heart.

PS. I love your hat

The World is Waiting

Dan rang me a few weeks ago and asked what I would say if she were to have a tattoo. I advised against it - not because I disapprove or anything (how the hell could I when I sport two of my own?) but I just didn't want her to do anything which she would later regret. I did advise her to have it placed somewhere where she could easily cover it up if necessary. I certainly didn't want her to have "L O V E and H A T E" tattooed on her fingers. Lovely Auntie Fiona also advised against it.

Anyway - when I arrived with her on Saturday night she took me to one side and said in a nervous voice..."Mum, please don't be cross with me...but..." and then showed me her foot. She has had a latin inscription tattooed along the bottom edge of her foot - so it's completely covered up as soon as she puts on a pair of shoes.

The latin reads..."Orbis terrarum est expecto". It translates as 'The world is waiting". I actually think that's very cool and inspirational. ...and Yes, she said it did hurt :)

Saturday 14 August 2010

Happy birthday

Today it is my friend Liz's birthday. She is still very young. Tomorrow is Dan's 21st. I just want to wish both of these lovely girls who mean so much to me a very delicious fantastic exciting and sumptuous happy birthday. With love x

Wednesday 11 August 2010

Conscious Robots

On the train yesterday I got chatting to a scientist...(as you do). He was on his way to London to get hold of a visa which would enable him to work in Japan for the next 12 months. The purpose of his work? To further study and investigate conscious robots.

As he explained it...(I was a bit confused)...there will soon be robots who are capable of thought. Not just a serious of pre-programmed q&a binary - yes/no - switches - which is how stuff works nowadays....(in other words - not just 'database with every eventuality - flow chart processing.'.....get my drift?) - but actual conscious thought processes the same as we have in our wee little brains. These robots will eventually be used to care for people.

I understood what he was saying - and the way he explained it - it certainly seemd possible - if not highly probable - and seeing as he's off to do research on behalf of one of the huge electronics corporations - it's all highly likely.

I said I would be happy to test a nice caring robot - provided they wrapped it in skin - gave it hair and implanted it with george Clooney's face (and obviously...other bits).

Apparently - 'Cyber-George' will be delivered to my house next week :) I have requested that he knows how to make the perfect Gin and Tonic - and that he's totally programmed with page 79 of the Karma Sutra!

Whatever happened to Adrian Mole?

I'm away at the moment - and getting to my destination required train travel. This required book purchase at the railway station. (I actually met a very interesting person on the train who educated me on the future of conscious robots - but that's a whole other blog post).

Having thoroughly enjoying the 'Diary of Adrian Mole' when I was a girl (and he was just a boy) I bought this book.

It is hilarious. I laughed out loud several times on the train - much to the horror of my fellow travellers - obviously I won't recount the story - or even precis it on here - because that would spoil your enjoyment of said tome when you go and purchase it - which you must.

I insist :)

Sunday 8 August 2010


Last week I had a telephone chat with a numpty off the dating website. He spoke very slowly -using words of one syllable or less -  and - well - let's just say that the chat couldn't come to an end too soon. He didn't call again (phew) - and I certainly didn't call him. Imagine my surprise this morning when I opened my 'in box' to find an e mail from said chap. I think he must have been drunk when he wrote it - he was clearly very unhappy. 

He called me a lot of not-very-nice names - and said that now he has my telephone number he's going to print some business cards and put them in phone boxes! He also said that it's no wonder I'm single (touche) and then went on to insult me in ways that would make an irish navvy blush. He called me a silly bitch - and said that he managed to find out my home address (Great work Sherlock).

I'm single because I'm picky (and because I'm waiting for George).

Do you think I should be worried?

UPDATE - Sunday 9am - He has just e mailed again - and this time it's worse...much worse. This guy really knows how to charm the ladies :)

Saturday 7 August 2010

Fifi La Trix

My dear dear dear dear friend (she's very dear to me) Fifi La Trix is facing a bit of a mire next week. She's got to go through a bit of a thing. Actually it's a lot of a thing. More of a thing than most of us ever have to deal with. I don't really want to write about the details on here because - well - just because.

She's being very brave - but that's Fifi - she's always brave. She's also always lovely. And kind. And supportive. And thoughtful. And beautiful. And funny. I love her.

Soon, my dear friend, we will be skipping up the hill again. I promise...XXX

Fatty :)

I am no longer skinny. I can no longer see my ribs. I lost so much weight in the first 4 months of this year that people were actually worried about me. That - is - no - longer - a - problem! Today I have consumed enough fodder to keep an army of twenty men on the go.

Today's nutrition included.......3 mini pork pies with Branston pickle. A Cadbury's Fruit & Nut bar. A large family bag of sea salt & balsamic vinegar crisps. A pork chop, broccoli, carrots and roasted squash. An entire punnet of raspberries and a pot of double cream. Two slices of wholemeal toast and organic honey. A single serving of Hagen-Das strawberry cheesecake flavour ice cream (divine). Oh yes - nearly forgot - for lunch I had a king prawn salad with 3 slices of brown bread and butter and full fat dressing - followed by a chocolate trifle.

At this rate I will be twelve stone by Christmas. But that's okay as I can get a job wearing a fur trimmed red suit and a big white beard :)....... (Ho, Ho, Ho)


I am very excited about the coming week. I have just been to the train station to collect my ticket to go to Billericay on Tuesday to stay with Liz. (Technology? order ticket on-line and collect from machine? swearing? gnashing of teeth? double parked in taxi rank?)

Whilst I'm there I will be hot-footing it into London - Covent Garden no less - to have my hair blonded (is that a word?) again. I am sooo looking forward to being a blondie again...the dark hair was nice while it lasted - but not really me. Hopefully Jopa will come an meet me in CG and we can have tea and cake. Whilst I'm in Essex we are planning a 'Take That' tribute band night out (!).... and then on Saturday we're heading to Surrey for lovely Dan's 21st Birthday.

It will be fantastic. X

Thursday 5 August 2010

Afternoon Movie Fest

This afternoon Fiona and I have watched this movie. It was fantastic. I absolutely love love love this film.  It's a 1960's black and white kitchen sink drama - and it is made so beautifully...it's very clever and the cinematography and symbolism is amazing. The best scene is where our hero vomits behind his nasty mother-in-law's sofa! She accuses our hero of seducing her daughter....

"you seduced her..." to which he replies..."if it hadn't been me it would have been somebody else - I didn't exactly have to tie her down!"...


Wednesday 4 August 2010

Where are you George Clooney?

The dating thing has gone a bit crap of late. I've been seeing chaps now for about six months...give or take...and it's just not working for me. I am a strong believer in   "if at first you don't succeed" but even that mantra has failed me. I get enough interest on the 'dreaded dating website'...but then when they call me on the 'phone they're just so boring and dull that I could scream. Last week I just put the phone down on somebody ...right in the middle of him chatting away about his son's latest football triumph (I AM NOT INTERESTED)...it was quite rude of me - but I was bored to tears. 

I haven't fancied anybody - cannot imagine swinging from a chandelier or dressing up as 'Little Miss Muffet" - for anybody that I have met - not even after a bottle or two of Bollinger. It's just not happening. My Mojo has gone into hibernation and no amount of prodding or poking is waking it up!

I would like a man who can make me laugh...a man who can indulge me...a man who can talk about 'stuff'...a man with nice teeth...a man with manners...a man with a soul...a man without a rabid ex-wife or delinquent children...a man with a half-decent dress sense...a man who doesn't deal with his penis envy issues by driving about in a souped-up turbo fuckwit motor...a man who likes poetry, literature, romance.

Actually - I would just like George Clooney....

On the Agenda.......

Next week is a bit busy. I'm away for a few days - well nearly a week actually....I'm popping down to Essex for a few nights (and days) during which time I shall be catching the InterCity into London Town - hopping on the tube to Covent Garden - and finally getting my hair done platinum blonde again......I've decided the dark hair just makes me look dour and serious - I'm convinced blondes have more fun...

Then - at the weekend I will be enjoying the delights of Surrey as I go to celebrate Dan's 21st Birthday with her and her friends and various members of the family...I am really looking forward to that. It only seems like a couple of years since I was huffing and puffing and wailing and moaning and shouting at the midwives and at Jim and at anybody / everybody in the vicinity whilst struggling (?) with labour pains and the longest 12 hours of my life! Somewhere I  have a full set of photographs of the entire birthing process which Jim (helpful soul) took on his camera. They resemble pictures from a midwifery textbook - so you can be sure they won't be shown round at her party. (I still can't quite believe that he thought that was a good idea).

Dan is a lovely young woman - as though of you who have met her will testify - she's not at all like me or her Dad - and I can't quite 'get' that she's all grown up now. I love her with all my heart and I am very proud of her. Very Proud indeed X

Where's Prince Charming?

Last night I went out on a date. With a Finance person (that was perhaps a mistake - a bit like a vegetarian going out on a date with Gordon Ramsey).  Anyway - he was okay - but just okay. I'm sure he's a great guy - but he just didn't light my fire. Not even a tiny wee spark. 

Today Fiona has been round and suggested a male friend of hers - who by all accounts is quite nice and funny and witty and entertaining and apparently a bit of a laugh. So she text him - and then he replied asking all sorts of questions.........at which point I got quite cross. It felt like I had to qualify for something. Not my thing at all.

In time - my dear - in time....Prince Charming will appear at your door :) 

New Specs

I went and collected my new specs today from the lovely Justin. The total cost? Nothing! Not a penny - and what's more they're 'Calvin Klein' designer specs.  Whilst driving home from the opticians I discovered that the names of the roads ARE actually legible! - that's after months of thinking that they weren't! 

Thank you Justin x

Monday 2 August 2010

Yorkshire Water - the good guys

Have just had a letter from the above. My bill is high - over £50 per month for water??? What's that about? I have no goldfish. I have no swimming pool. There's just me and my washing machine and my bath. Washing is done twice a week and a bath every day...but only a shallow bath - none of this 'soaking in deep water contemplating the navel' nonsense for me.

So I called Debbie - who - by the sound of her accent resides somewhere near Bradford - and she suggested a reduced bill (yaaaay) and a water meter (double yaaaaay). Very helpful indeed. I should have my meter within 21 days....and in the meantime 'nowt to pay until October.

Love it x

Sunday 1 August 2010

A year later

Last year about this time I wrote this. It's still true today. probably even more so.


I have decided to go back to blonde. They certainly have more fun. The dark period is now over (!). I have had so many people say to me that they really preferred my hair blonde and that it looked brighter and more vibrant! I felt brighter and more vibrant when my hair was blonde that's for sure. It's now time to have fun again and be bright and shiny...a real Princess Shiny Diamond! So tomorrow I will call my lovely cousin Richard and arrange an appointment in Covent Garden to go get my hair looked after properly as only he can.

The blonde is back!

Beautiful New life