Monday, 31 August 2009

That is not a good look for you, dear!


Following on from the previous post regarding the Scuba adventures - my next goal is to qualify at 30m in Open Water. Also - to have all my own kit. To get started Posselq has bought me a wetsuit and mask for my birthday. We got them on Saturday in Warwick - from here - and I have to say that whilst wearing them I look like a complete and utter tit :) Instead of looking like Lara Croft which was the kind of idea I had in mind - oh well - ho hum :)

Holiday report






Rightio - as you know I've just been away on holiday. We went for 14 nights to Chania in Crete. We stayed here. It was really fab - mind you I have to say that the food in Crete was a bit disappointing - I love my food and managed to lose about 5 or 6 pounds whilst there!!! I expected the food to be lovely as it is in Cyprus - but alas - it wasn't to be. That would be my only complaint though. The rest of everything was really lovely. Whilst there I managed to fit in 4 days on a scuba diving course with Posselq's son - Kigh - and we were thrilled when after day 4 we passed our exams and qualified to dive to 18m in Open Water. Now I have the diving bug and am busily collecting all the equipment needed. I did learn how not to dive with a migraine on day 3 - when I had to surface rather quickly and managed to 'spray-vomit' everyone within a ten foot radius - including Kigh and our instructor. Good job we were in water and they could just go beneath the surface for a rinse!!! I also discovered that fish love to eat human vomit - anyway enough about that.


So - we had a lovely time :) Mind you - I'm not sure that neoprene is a good look for me :)

Nipple trauma

Readers of a nervous disposition - look away now.....

I have just come downstairs after a wee nap (middle age) wearing my dressing gown. While Posselq was making the salad dressing for lunch I just happened to notice a hair on my nipple!!!! Quelle Horreur!!! It wasn't just any old hair - no - it was a double thickness, wiry, curly one - and what's more it had two strands coming from the same follicle instead of just the usual one.

I showed it to Posselq - and I have to say that showing him my nipple on a Monday lunchtime would usually bring about results of the bedroom variety - but today - alas not - he just offered (very kindly) to pull it out for me. So long was the hair that he was able to wrap it around his finger.....

Anyway - after he had found his spectacles - he grabbed hold of said hair - yanked it out and promptly twatted me one on the end of my nose in the process.

I love Posselq,  I love my hairless nipple and I do so love being middle aged :) 

My name is Michael Caine......

On Saturday night we watched 'The Italian Job'...that is the proper version, the original, the masterpiece.  I love that movie. I won't bore you with all the quotes - apart from the obvious one of course - "you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" which Posselq keeps saying at every given opportunity....(In a minute I'm going to have to kill him).

I noticed people in the movie that I hadn't realised were in it - ie Benny Hill (!) and Henry McGee. We had the Blue Ray version and it comes with a documentary where all the actors who played in the film are interviewed - so that was another hour's viewing.

If you haven't seen the movie for a while I suggest you watch it again - it's fab :) A complete romping adventure with humour and the feel good factor running all the way through it.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Home at last - and it's raining!!!

I am home at last. After a splendid two week break in Crete with Posselq and his children I am back in the kitchen with a massive mountain of laundry to do. The really great news is that I have a bit of a tan and look quite healthy and I haven't smoked a fag for over two weeks. Oh yes - and I am now a qualified scuba diver - but only up to 18 metres. I have many a tale to tell about learning that particular set of new skills - but don't have the time to tell you all about that now. No doubt there'll be more later - but right now I'm up to my armpits in muck and bullets - and have to pop to Tesco, go fetch the dog back from the kennels and get down the gym.

Later........

Monday, 10 August 2009

Village Post Office

I've just been to the new Village Post office at Cropredy (pronounced Crop-er-dy) to do a return parcel for Posselq. He ordered something off t'net and it didn't fit. I needed proof of postage.

Going into the new sub-post office was hilarious. It's actually a 2 foot square section of the counter at the village store - I arrived at 1.57pm to be told that as the Post Office was closed until 2pm they couldn't serve me. 

The lady on the counter and I both stood and waited for 3 minutes exactly - then  she moved the massive distance of eighteen inches up to the "Post Office" section of the shop counter and proceeded to serve me.

Because the Post Office section is new and she is just a lowly shop assistant - (albeit a dab hand at serving hot pasties and half bottles of whisky) the poor woman had to consult the Manual. The manual was so large that I had to remove my parcel from the counter to give her the room she needed. She duly found instructions on page 173 - but not before she had read fully pages 1 - 172. It felt a bit like living through an episode of 'League of Gentlemen'.

This is a local shop for local people. We don't want any trouble here:)

Sunday, 9 August 2009

Fatty :)

This afternoon we have been to the gym. The purpose of my visit was to be assessed. My fitness., my BMI, my fat content (honestly) my blood pressure - and so on and so forth. None of this worried me as I am a size ten and have been since I was 15. My lung function is probably crap because of all the tabs I've smoked over the years - but apart from that - 'nowt much to worry 'baht.

Imagine my horror then  to discover that my body fat ratio is 31.9% - which is HIGH! Acceptable for my age is 23-28%. And - quelle horreur - I am over weight!!!!! I weigh in at 54.3kg and should be between 49-52!!! I have always thought I was small and petite and now discover that I am a lardarse - and a chumpa wumpa - a heifer. I am mortified. I cannot leave the house until I have lost two stone - seeing as I'm flying to Crete on Tuesday morning I fear that amputation of my left leg is the only way I can reach my target weight in time.

My Blood pressure was / is fine and my heart rate is exceedingly low - which is very good (my resting heart rate is 53 bpm - and the 'excellent' range is 55 or less) - however my strength rating is below average ...... I am a little weed!!!

Posselq has laughed long and hard this afternoon at my results - and will no longer confirm that I am not fat. 

Oh God - Oh God - Oh God xx

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Viola lays !

Viola - (the little delicate ballerina-like white chicken) has laid her first egg today. I know it was her because the egg is white. White chicken = white egg. Not exactly rocket science - is it?

Javelin

Much squawking, flurry of feathers and fast chicken legs running around madly. Big ginger cat in the garden worrying the chickens. Big stick (javelin) - throw at cat (aiming to near miss) - cat over the fence and away! Tessa Sanderson - pah!

The Journey

Life's funny isn't it? It has its ups and downs, it's left and right turns - it's happy times and disappointments. It contains heartbreak and joy - and trial and tribulations (oh what a cliche!). What do you do when it's tough? You lace up your boots and you keep walking through the forest - eventually you will reach a sunny glade where you can rest a while - maybe share some special moments with a special someone - gather your strength for the next part of the journey. You live, you walk, you learn. You love. That's it really - in a nutshell. No more - no less. Enjoy the walk, enjoy the scenery, enjoy the trees and the fresh air. Bask in the sunshine. When it rains - know that it will stop soon - and that the rain is necessary for things to grow. Remember that it's your walk - your journey - you choose your path - you choose when to stop and rest a while - you choose the direction - you choose when to take the high road - where it's hilly and bumpy and hard going - and you can choose to take the low road - it takes longer - but it's easier. You can always change your route - and you can always change your speed, you can always stop for a while and rest, have a good look around at all the beauty and decide which way to go next. You will get there in the end xx


Sunday, 2 August 2009

Dan's Party


Yesterday Posselq and I drove to the big house in Surrey for Dan's 20th Birthday party. She won't actually be 20 until 15th August - but she'll be away on holiday than with her Dad so she had her party a few weeks early. There was a pig roast, a candy floss machine and a karaoke - as well as about 150 people. It was fab. We had a really lovely time. I can't believe that she's all growed up :)