Fatty :)

This afternoon we have been to the gym. The purpose of my visit was to be assessed. My fitness., my BMI, my fat content (honestly) my blood pressure - and so on and so forth. None of this worried me as I am a size ten and have been since I was 15. My lung function is probably crap because of all the tabs I've smoked over the years - but apart from that - 'nowt much to worry 'baht.

Imagine my horror then  to discover that my body fat ratio is 31.9% - which is HIGH! Acceptable for my age is 23-28%. And - quelle horreur - I am over weight!!!!! I weigh in at 54.3kg and should be between 49-52!!! I have always thought I was small and petite and now discover that I am a lardarse - and a chumpa wumpa - a heifer. I am mortified. I cannot leave the house until I have lost two stone - seeing as I'm flying to Crete on Tuesday morning I fear that amputation of my left leg is the only way I can reach my target weight in time.

My Blood pressure was / is fine and my heart rate is exceedingly low - which is very good (my resting heart rate is 53 bpm - and the 'excellent' range is 55 or less) - however my strength rating is below average ...... I am a little weed!!!

Posselq has laughed long and hard this afternoon at my results - and will no longer confirm that I am not fat. 

Oh God - Oh God - Oh God xx