Fucking cancer. A friend of mine has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Pretty fucking dire if you ask me. This friend is somebody I've known for over 20 years but we're not particularly close. When I heard that she had the buggering 'C'. I messaged her to offer support. I live close to her..I work from home...I can take her call at any time, and there's lots that I can do to assist ...shopping, cleaning, talking...that kind of stuff.
Immediately she accepted. I'm honoured to be honest. Seriously. Big time. That she would think little old me worthy of helping her through this.
I have no idea how good I'll be ...but she's given me her trust with this and I am determined that I am not going to let her down.
Yesterday she had a biopsy to take samples from the tumours (one biggish one and three smaller ones) and I offered to go with her to hold her hand. She accepted. So there we were in this room...with a doctor and a nurse (who were lovely)...a big probe type thing and an ultrasound machine.
She bore this with an amazing amount of courage and grace. If it were me I'd have been crying and dissolving into a puddle of snot, wee and tears. She was laughing, chatting and even when it was uncomfortable (understatement of the century...a big metal probe going through your skin...digging into your flesh and snipping bits of you away?) she was dignified to a level that was, quite frankly...astonishing.
After the deed was done we went back to her shop for tea and chocolate biscuits. We thought that was the least she deserved. Frankly I think she deserved two nights with George Clooney, a winning lottery ticket and at least one pair of Manolos. And that's just for starters.
Anyway - as is often the case when your world is collapsing around you - you see the funny side. We got chatting about platitudes. The things that she's expecting people to say to her. Well meaning utterances of such banality and ridiculousness..... We laughed so much about this that we decided to start a list of "Platitude of the day". I promised her I would text her every morning with the very worst platitude I could think of for that day.
So...'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.....'it's always darkest before the dawn'....'you'll look great with no hair'....etc etc etc..... that kind of thing. Personally I can't imagine anything more annoying and insulting.....imagine having to fight this battle and then having dumb folks saying dumb things to you...and then having to smile graciously and accept their kind words? I'd be on a murder charge within hours.
Anyway - that's all apart from to remind the girls out there to check their boobs for lumps. Please. For me.