Thursday 26 February 2009

Things on google

Whilst googling this morning for the previous post - I came across this. It seems that it's not only nice girls who love a sailor!!! 

'Elf and safety

Yesterday the window cleaner arrived. I was quite glad about that as I had been doing the windows inside, and the outside downstairs, but the upstairs/outside window were a bit of a problem!!! But - hey ho - times have changed and he brought no ladders!! Instead he had a special contraption - like a very long tube with a brush on the end. He duly attached the tube to the outside tap and use the long 'wand' with a brush on the end to clean the upstairs windows. I asked him where his ladders were and was quickly told that they aren't allowed ladders any more because of 'elf and safety. 

So he used copious gallons of water (are we on a meter, dear?) and then had no method to dry the upstairs windows afterwards. I had no idea that window cleaning as a profession was so dangerous. Being a contrary madam I decided to google 'death and injury whilst window cleaning' - just wanting to satisfy myself exactly how dangerous window cleaning is!!! I found this, (scroll down and read the comment from Victor Arram....ha ha ha!) which whilst an unfortunate tale - has no mention of ladders - no - in this case it was the bucket and the water which proved to be hazardous. I failed to find news of any window cleaner falling from a ladder and suffering injury or death.

I'm not a huge fan of 'Elf and safety - I appreciate that there are instances where it is needed - clearly we cannot send children up chimneys anymore (it would be fun though wouldn't it? I think it may be a workable solution for the teenage scrotes who appear on the 'Jeremy Kyle' show!) ...and people's working environment should be as safe as possible......but puleeeeze - no more ladders for window cleaners - is it just me - or do you think that's a step too far?

Soon I shall be prohibited from riding my horse on the grounds that it is dangerous!!! Perhaps the 'Elf and safety police will decree that her legs should be shortened so that if I do fall it won't be so far? Life can be dangerous - get over it!

So - times have changed - no more asking to fill the bucket - no more ladders - no more leathers to polish the windows - and no more deadly falling from ladders incidents.  Now it's all about a huge water bill and windows with rain spots. I nearly offered him a cup of tea - but thought better of it  - wouldn't want him to refuse on the grounds of 'Elf and might be too hot, the cup might have germs on it, you may try to poison me.........Goodness me - whatever next?

I am starting to sound like Victor Meldrew.

Tuesday 24 February 2009

Myra Hindley?

Musings are a bit lacking on this blog of late. I used to muse a lot - but at present I'm rather too busy! However I did think about something the other day. I was reading in the newspaper about Jade and her marriage and her illness. It amazes me that just a short time ago this girl was villified and harangued in the press for being a racist - (marked down as some kind of she-devil...I know she did wrong but she's not exactly Myra Hindley is she?) but now because she's ill (which is extremely unfortunate) she has become some kind of national hero. I wonder if the people who write column inches actually believe what they write - or do they just write it because it will sell the papers? .......Don't bother to answer that because I think I know the answer!

Yesterday I read about how she had matured - and the story of her relationship with Jack Tweedy - which sounds tumultuous to say the least.

It just amuses me that the papers change their minds as often as I change my undies.

One good thing that has come out of this is that perhaps we women will take smear tests a bit more seriously and go for them when they are due - or even ask for them more often than once every three years...if she had been tested three years ago - her illness wouldn't have shown up - and so the test would have been pointless. Perhaps an annual test is a better way?

Pancake day

I have just read Dan's Blog and realised it's pancake day today. That will no doubt involve scraping sticky bits of pancake batter off the ceiling. My dad was once tossing pancakes and one landed on his head - this resulted in a rather nasty burn to his bald spot!

It's a wonderful life!

More news on the domestic Goddess front. Things are going well with the POSELQ. We had a very nice weekend. He's now away for a few days - so I've turned my hand to finishing my unpacking. Clearly I've had to make space.......more trips to the tip with empty cardboard boxes. 

Then - as you are trying to make space - you come across clutter. But it's not my clutter - so I can't just chuck it away - or move it around. Using logic and common sense - things that aren't used very often can be placed in the garage - ah - but the garage is full of other 'stuff'. So therefore we are half way through putting things away - then there is a necessity to organise the garage...and so it goes on!!!

Today the cleaning lady is due. She may be upset as I have placed one of the vacuum cleaners in the garage - I don't think an 'upstairs' vac and a 'downstairs' vac are necessary - do you? She won't be able to do much today as there is still unpacking everywhere. Obviously I don't want to upset her - but I've also moved the 'Bleach bottle and rubber gloves' from the two upstairs bathrooms and the downstairs loo. They now live under the sink and can be taken to where they are needed and then put away again when finished!!! I also need to chat with her about her job title - 'cleaning lady' would dictate that you do some cleaning? Maybe 'cleaning lady' means something different in Oxfordshire - maybe it means - 'she who moves dust around'. 'Im indoors thinks that she doesn't have enough time to do things properly!!! Personally I think that she just faffs about! I used to be a cleaning lady myself - so I kind of know what I'm talking about - what with that and the Army training - I am a bit of a clean freak!!!!

So - what with the clutter - and the Cleaning lady that doesn't clean - and the trips to the tip with even more cardboard boxes - and the tidying of the garage - and the finding room for all my stuff - and the still-undecided issue of the speakers...things are very busy!!!!

I must point out that I am very happy in my new life...I've just read back what I've written and it reads like a bit of  a moan!!!

Oh yes - and this weekend I am being taken to Geneva for three days!!! How lovely!!

Friday 20 February 2009

Move over Delia

Okay - so here's an update for you on the 'domestic goddess' front. Last night I cooked dinner. Yes - cooked dinner - me - that's right.....and I didn't burn anything - and it was delicious. We had my special chicken (recipe available by special request - and only if I like you) - mashed potato, asparagus tips (posh - or what?), baby corn and sugar snap peas. I steamed the veg - oooh how modern and healthy.....

He ate everything on his plate. - and that was because it tasted fab - not because he was afraid not to :)

Thursday 19 February 2009

Millie makes a new friend

Eventually this morning after about an hour of NWD being missing in action, my mobile phone rang. It was a nice man from round the corner who had found Millie wandering in his garden. That's the problem with being adventurous in a new location you see. You can't always find your way home again!!! He called me, and I duly ran up the road to fetch her back. When I got to number 7 Chestnut Road - Millie was sitting in his hallway as if she'd lived there all her life! Tail wagging - looking at this chap as if he was going to be the one to give her some breakfast!!!

She was wet through and very muddy - so had clearly been on a round trip - and the house she found was the closest she could manage to home.

I think more secure fencing is needed.


I thought the garden was secure - honestly I did. I had checked the fencing and there didn't seem to be any gaps. Clearly there are as Millie has done a runner. I can no longer do the banging metal bowl with fork as the rest of the tiny road that we live on is still asleep. I just hope she can find her way home .......

Wednesday 18 February 2009

Frisky Phoebe - update!

Well - I'm still here - alive and kicking - not injured or in hospital or anything dramatic like that. To be fair to the mare she was as good as gold in the circumstances - never put a foot wrong in fact. I had to enlist the help of a fellow livery client to help me get her out of the stable - he was on standby just in case she had an eppy - but in fact wasn't needed. He also agreed to stay whilst I rode just in case she bucked me off and an ambulance was required.... but none of it was necessary. She did do a bit of snorting and blowing and craning her neck - it didn't help that she could hear another horse jumping in the outdoor school just on the other side of the wall - but apart from that she was a diamond. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I absolutely love my horse :)

Frisky Phoebe

Okay - so here's how it is. Horse ownership in the winter is a bit of a mire. Phoebe has been stood in her new stable for the last 48 hours (ever since she arrived on Monday). She can't be turned out yet as she's in quarantine - and anyway the fields are very wet here in Mollington.

Later this afternoon I have to ride her. It's okay because the new yard has an indoor school (safest option) but she's bound to be a bit 'frisky'. I don't like it when my horse is 'frisky' because I simply don't 'do' frisky horses. I like my men frisky but I like my horses a bit dopey!!! She's never been in the indoor school at this yard before - cue much snorting and blowing and spooking - and she's bound to be a bit on-her-toes. It's going to be fun and I think I ought to wear my brown jodphurs. I'll write an update later and let you know how I got on!!!!

Tuesday 17 February 2009

Failed on day one :)

Yesterday - which was my first proper week day as a POLSQ (see previous post) involved going to Tesco with a list. The list was made by 'im indoors and was quite short! I, however failed in my mission to purchase some 5 inch plant pots. (They're for the indoor herb planter!) I did, however succeed in purchasing porridge oats and fairy liquid, spinach and maple syrup.

Today I may pop to my favourite garden centre in Sheffield and see if they have some 5 inch plant pots.

The life of a POSLQ is never dull :)


What? Are? You? On? about?

A POSLQ is a "person of opposite sex sharing living quarters" and it's pronounced ...'posselqueue'. Now I am officially one of these, and so is 'im indoors. We've have officially been living together since Saturday (Valentines Day - how romantic) and so far we're doing well!!!

Anyone who knows me will realise that living with me is no mean feat and at times will require every ounce of inner courage that 'im indoors possesses!!! However - he's a very courageous man - so it should be okay.

My stuff arrived in a big white van and was unloaded into the house. There are 20 or so big plastic crates containing all my worldly belongings - and that's a lot of stuff to find homes for and put away!

Yesterday was a great day as Phoebe arrived - courtesy of the lovely Emma showing great patience and fortitude and loading her into the trailer in Surrey, and then Dean driving her over here with two assistants. (I made them lunch!). She is safely snuggled up in her cosy new stable, and was munching her way through a big hay net when I left her last night - looking none the worse for her ordeal. So that's the horse settled then. The new yard is run by a lady who seems very knowledgable - and what's more they have an indoor school - no more riding in the rain - yippee!!!

We have had 'fun' deciding where all my 'stuff' should go - but as yet haven't come to blows - mind you - we did have a 'almost disagreement' about whose stereo speakers were the best and therefore got to be in the living room. My opinion is that my lovely Mission speakers are superior, and he thinks that his 'brand I've never heard of' speakers are superior. In the end we decided to listen to them both and then make the decision. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter - but I confess I did become quite animated (code for shitty) during the discussion!!! I didn't quite stamp my feet but it was close! 

Anyway - I've got a busy day today as I have to go and muck out my own horse (oooh I can feel the muscle ache coming on!) and then drive myself and Millie up to Sheffield for a funeral. Sheffield is soon to be known as 'funeral city' as I seem to be visiting there a lot lately to attend ceremonies beginning with 'F'.

I must ask my new living partner how he wishes to be referred to on this Blog as I would hate to use a phrase that he doesn't like. I could, of course, simply use his name - but I quite like "im indoors" or perhaps 'he who must be obeyed". I'm sure he'll come up with a suitable suggestion!!! I will, in due course, let you know! I'll also let you know whose speakers got to be in the living room :)

Friday 13 February 2009

No more sleeps !

When I was a little girl (I'm surprised you can remember that far back) and I was looking forward to something I used to count the sleeps until it was due. So - seven more sleeps until Christmas / Birthday etc.....

I still do this - and I have to tell you - there are no more sleeps!!!

Yaaaaay :)

Thursday 12 February 2009

Things to do this afternoon

1. Take more bin bags to the tip
2. Go and meet pals for lunch
3. Untangle spaghetti wiring from amp to speakers etc.
4. Clean everywhere
5. Shower and get ready
6. Be ready for cab at 5pm
7. Pack up un-tangled wires
8. Pack up speakers
9. Pack up stereo equipment
10. Have a nap (!)
11. Head up to town
12. Come home
13. Sleep

Please may I just leap straight to number 13?

Naughty yellow dog

NWD has just been out in the garden. Then NWD wouldn't come back in again. Normally she goes racing round for a few minutes - does a wee - and then comes flying back because she knows it's breakfast time. This morning, however - she decided to go for a wee run (wee, run....get it?) around the complete perimeter of the garden. I've said this before - but our garden is quite large - so that's the canine equivalent of Paula Radcliffe just before she wees. (there's a wee theme building here!)

So after five minutes I nip outside in fluffy pink dressing gown and slippers and shout her very quietly (I have to 'shout' her quietly because people are sleeping in the main house - so the 'shout' becomes a very aggressive whisper...has to be heard to be believed). 

Anyway still no response - no racing patter of little white feet and claws.

Plan B. Plan b involves metal dog food bowl and fork. Fork banged on side of metal dog food bowl usually gets great results within nano seconds. I have to tell you - that this too, failed. 

By now I have shoes on and am preparing for 'garden search'. Garden search usually brings poor results - because if she doesn't come back for 'bowl and fork' she's usually half way to the Garden Centre. This morning, however, I am pleased to report that 'Garden Search' resulted in NWD being found by the big bins with her little white head in a brown paper carrier (of the Indian take-away variety).  I called her name - and she removed her head from the offending receptacle to show me her now bright yellow - curry stained - face. Then she let out an almighty burp.

I would take a picture and post it on here - but my cameras have all been packed away for the move - so you will just have to imagine NWD with bright yellow tumeric stains right up to her ears. 

Oh dear - poor Millie - I can feel a bath of epic proportions coming on :(

Wednesday 11 February 2009

Did you know.......

...that the distance from your wrist to your elbow is exactly the same length as the size of your feet?

I bet you all try it :)

Boxes...Boxes...Boxes,,,,and a trip to the Tip

The packing's going well - thanks for asking. I've been to the DIY store and bought a load of those plastic boxes with lids (on offer - we love a bargain). Then I googled 'tip near Weybridge' and found one just a couple of miles away - I needed no more encouragement!!!

Earlier today I took and chucked away about twenty big bin bags of 'stuff'. More tomorrow morning - before a farewell lunch with Lisa and Emma and little-legs Phoebe at GBK (yaaaay!)

Tomorrow night I'm off to London to see Cirque again and then out for farewell dinner with 'them from the big house' at The Minnow on Friday night (after lovely farewell lunch with Trish!)

By Saturday morning (moving day) I should just about be sorted. (Harrumph)

What I had completely missed is that Saturday is Valentine's day - so I'm moving in with a lovely man on St Valentine's Day - probably doesn't get any more romantic than that.....?  

Names have been changed.....

Yesterday I met a new person. For the sake of modesty I shall call her Emma (names have been changed to protect the innocent!) and I really liked her. She came to help me with some work on a project that I'm doing for t'Master in t'big house - and she was one of those people who I just liked instantly.

Anyway - she's single and has had a few dodgy relationships (haven't we all?) and as girls do - we got talking about it. (Note for chaps...that's not all we talk about - but it is one of our favourite topics!)

Of course I told her all about being a Princess Shiny Diamond and all that entails. Placing a high value on yourself and not settling for anything less than what you want in a relationship. Understanding that a man who loves you will not treat you badly - and if he does - go find somebody who treats you nicely instead (there are plenty out there). 

We have all been in relationships that are less than satisfactory - and we all have the choice to stay or leave. If you stay - you run the risk of not being available for the nice men when they come along (which they do!)

So off she went with the the advice to join a nice dating website - and go out and have some fun - there are thousands of men out there who are looking for a lovely lass like Emma (names have been changed to protect the innocent). 

From my own personal experience on dating websites (which you have no doubt read about on here) you meet a lot of frogs - but every now and then you unearth a diamond - I did - and I'm off to live with him at the weekend!!!

Good Luck Emma (Names have been changed.....)

Monday 9 February 2009

Bin Bags Required - update

Okay - well would you just look at the time!! I've been at this packing malarkey now for about three hours or so - give or take thirty minutes to eat my dinner - and I'm whacked. I cannot believe how much trash one person can accumulate in three years. I've been 'doing' the kitchen drawers. So far I have found my old mobile phone (and charger) which I loved - so the sim card is getting switched over and we're taking a retrograde step - so many keys to so many doors (I have no clue as to what key is for what door) - being completely anal (I never knew that I was) I have discovered the instruction books for every piece of electrical equipment that I have bought in the last three years...mind you I don't think my Anne Summers Rabbit had an instruction book - but saying that if you actually need an instruction book for that then it's time to give up don't you think?

MIllie was thrilled when I discovered a forgotten stash of doggie treats at the back of the cupboard - and then totally devastated when I read the 'use-by' date and decided to throw them all away. She's no longer speaking to me.

I am taking my Goerge Foreman grill and my egg-poaching pan - oh yes and my three tier vegetable steaming pan - but all my other pans are staying behind for the next lucky can just imagine the comments can't you? "OOOh look - a ten year old frying pan - how fantastic!"

I haven't even started on my clothes yet - but what a fantastic excuse to throw away all those holey (holy?) grey cotton knickers that have been cluttering up my undie drawer for ever (I can just hear my Mum saying "they'd make great dusters"...I think not!

It's very cathartic and a wonderful excuse for de-cluttering - let's all live a minimal lifestyle from now on!!!

It's going to take me forever to unpack it all at the other end - I just hope my new housemate (!) is patient!!!

Bin Bags required

Because I'm moving at the weekend I've been going through all my 'stuff'. I've got way too much stuff for a woman of my age and experience!!!! Clothes I haven't worn for years, stuff I haven't used, and books I haven't read. DVDs I haven't watched and CDs I haven't listened to...and that's just the beginning - I haven't even started going through Phoebe's stuff yet.

I am in serious need of many, many bin bags!

Friday 6 February 2009

Goodbye Special Friend

Yesterday a very very dear friend of mine passed away. It was totally unexpected and a massive shock to me and all of his friends. He was only 60 years old. He occupies a very special place in my heart - and has done for a very very long time, and his memory will live on there for ever.

He was a lovely, dignified, kind, gentle, good man. 

Rest in peace Stewart xx

Thursday 5 February 2009

Changes afoot

There are some quite big changes a-coming!!! Some people don't like change - but I do - I really do. I quite relish new opportunities and new adventures. I like it when things change in a big way in my life. I like to explore new avenues and do different things. That might be why I've lived in so many places and done so many different jobs!!! Either that or I've been trying to find my niche in life!!!

When I moved to Surrey three years ago and came to live in an unconventional set-up - people around me were concerned that I may have been making a mistake - but I was just excited by the possibilities and new opportunities that were coming my way. Things worked out well overall and I've had a great time, made some dear and cherished fantastic friends and learned lots about myself and others. Being here gave Dan the opportunity to build family relationships that are very important - and for that - if nothing else - I am grateful. (I've had a ball too - and for that I'm also extremely thankful). I've met some incredible people and lots of them have enriched my life. 

My time here in Surrey is now coming to a close and I'm ready for a new chapter in my life. I am excited about the future and the new experiences that it holds. I'm ready for the next part of my life's journey and I am thrilled that I will be taking that journey with somebody else by my side. 

I firmly believe that the Universe brings you what you ask for and what you need at just the right time for you to gain the most - spiritually and emotionally and in every other way. This time the Universe has done really well and has delivered to me an incredible opportunity for future happiness and enrichment. 

I will be sad to say Goodbye to Surrey - my time here has been fab - but I will be thrilled to say 'Hello' to my new home. 

Wish me luck!!

Beautiful New life