For things to change - you have to change...(or certainly you have to change the way you see things, and the way you think about and react to things.) ..that's the necessary thing - and change is one of the hardest things. When your core beliefs about who you are and where you fit in the world are challenged (by yourself) it leaves you standing on very shaky ground. Especially when you've held those beliefs as strongly as I have and for as long as I have. (Tracy.....?... have strong views and beliefs.?.....never!!!)
So right now I'm at a place where I'm no longer sure exactly what's what with myself. And let me tell you - it's weird and very unsettling. Once I've gained more insight and re-addressed the balance I'm sure it will be much better - but for the time being I just have to give myself up to the process, and trust in that same process. After all, as I always say "It'll be alright in the end, if it's not alright...it's not the end".
I'm off work for the next two weeks and will try and fit in a short trip to Spain - so that will be nice, I always have a nice time whenever I go to Spain....might be something to do with the lovely weather...never a cloud in the blue, blue sky....and hopefully - in time - there won't be a single cloud left in my blue, blue sky.