Wednesday, 27 August 2008

What's what?

At present I am going through a few changes (no, not THAT change!).  I'm undergoing some learning which requires looking at things in a different way.  The new way of seeing  things is challenging some of my longest held and strongest beliefs. There are many reasons why this is necessary and I won't bore you with them - because they're kind of irrelevant. What is relevant though is how bloody difficult it is. 

For things to change - you have to change...(or certainly you have to change the way you see things, and the way you think about and react to things.) ..that's the necessary thing - and change is one of the hardest things. When your core beliefs about who you are and where you fit in the world are challenged (by yourself) it leaves you standing on very shaky ground. Especially when  you've held those beliefs as strongly as I have and for as long as I have.  (Tracy.....?... have strong views and beliefs.?.....never!!!)

So right now I'm at a place where I'm no longer sure exactly what's what with myself. And let me tell you - it's weird and very unsettling. Once I've gained more insight and re-addressed the balance I'm sure it will be much better - but for the time being I just have to give myself up to the process, and trust in that same process. After all, as I always say "It'll be alright in the end, if it's not alright...it's not the end". 

I'm off work for the next two weeks and will try and fit in a short trip to Spain - so that will be nice, I always have a nice time whenever I go to Spain....might be something to do with the lovely weather...never a cloud in the blue, blue sky....and hopefully - in time - there won't be a single cloud left in my blue, blue sky.

6 comments:

  1. You are talking gibberish again!!!

    Does this new you mean that you won't shout at people trying to do you a favour, like, re-hanging your front door for example? ;-)

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  2. You are talking gibberish again!!!

    Does this new you mean that you won't shout at people trying to do you a favour, like, re-hanging your front door for example? ;-)

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  3. Dearest lovely Christian...that was so many years ago now - you really need to let it go!!!!!! I am laughing as I remember the startled look on yours and Bruce's face thirty seconds before you quit and f**cked off to the pub!!!!

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  4. Dearest lovely Christian...that was so many years ago now - you really need to let it go!!!!!! I am laughing as I remember the startled look on yours and Bruce's face thirty seconds before you quit and f**cked off to the pub!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just know happiness is round the corner....

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  6. Just know happiness is round the corner....

    ReplyDelete