Okay - to prevent the recent disastrous dating experiences from re-occurring - I have decided to be quite specific about what it is I am looking for in a chap. I do understand that my version of 'ideal' probably doesn't exist - but if we can get anywhere near it - that would be an improvement over recent acquaintances :)
1. Must have own teeth. (Not vitally important that ALL teeth are natural - caps and veneers are okay)
2. Must not be tight. Splitting the bill for coffee is not okay.
3. Must not be badly overweight. A slight paunch would be acceptable - but resemblance (no matter how remote) to Mr Blobby or Roy 'Chubby' Brown is not okay.
4. Must not have any kind of serious porn addiction. A healthy normal interest in porn is okay (after all - we do live in the real world) but active memberships on any sleazy websites with chat facilities is not acceptable.
5. Any offspring must be polite, well behaved, respectful, able to sit properly at the dinner table - and not chew their food with open mouths.
6. Must not chew food with mouth open - and have basic cutlery abilities :)
7. Must not pick nose and eat bogeys
8. Not to be a heavy drinker
9. Not to have any kind of annoying braying laugh
10. Must be kind and reliable
11. Must be completely 'over' any previous relationships / divorces. No bitterness in evidence about losing the house, kids - or half the pension.
12. Must actively participate in some kind of sport or social activity with other people at least once a week.
13. Must be able to discuss worldy subjects at some depth.
14. Must not care about what clothes go on what coathangers.
15. Must have own friends...at least three!!! (Not kidding here)
16. Must have healthy loving relationships with other family members.
17. Must not have any kind of penchant for Dr Who. I am not interested in who is / was the best Doctor!
18. Must not mind my liking for the News of the World - or Britain's Got Talent
19. Must absolutely adore me to the point of madness.
Now - I don't think that's a lot to ask - do you? If my friends can think of anything else - please feel free to add other requirements in the comments section :)
Should I give up now?