Sunday, 7 November 2010

Letting go

Yesterday I learned something. I learned to let go. What of? Control I think. Somebody that I love did something that I really didn't like. All I could see was the problems that this action would cause in the future. In my mind that was the only valid argument.

Of course there is another viewpoint. There has to be. Yin and Yang and all that. Being a strong-willed person I struggle with seeing (at first) the other person's point of view. It takes me a while and the understanding usually follows some kind of outburst. I am not proud of that.

The fears that I carry within me manifest themselves with a behaviour pattern which epitomises the need to control. Myself, the situation and (how awful is this?) everybody around me. I tried that yesterday - but it was too late. The thing that I objected to had already been done - and cannot be un-done.

The other party had their own viewpoint - which differs vastly to mine. In every way. In the end I had to just let go of the situation and allow it to pass. Boy - that was hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But I did it. I don't like what has happened. I probably never will. But - that's my problem. Nobody else's.

I hope it's going to be okay.

Love Love x

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