Thursday 14 October 2010

Dear Gentleman Caller


Thanks for texting me last night. It was lovely to hear from you - mind you by the time I was reading text number 17 which was all about your recent golf handicap changes - I admit to being a wee bit heavy-lidded. It was lovely to learn all about your selection of racing cars and the fact that you're personal friends with the rich guy who has a helicopter and who designed and built Meadowhall. I love guys who constantly name drop. No, really I do:)

I do feel for you with your recent struggles with your weight - but you've done ever so well to get down from 22 stone to 20 stone in the last three years. Well done you! Mind you - having your leg amputated probably helped. I mean to ask you - How did the gangrene get you?

Your witty stories probably lost some of their magic when recounted by text - but I am so looking forward to meeting you later today so that you can tell me them all in person. Can't wait.

When I see you I feel sure that I will know you - I think you'll be the rather chubby guy - leaning (obviously) on the bar - talking to the glazed-eyed bar tender about all your numerous achievements and friends in high places. Just so that you'll know me - I will be the small blonde woman with the intravenous gin drip - reading 'The Penguin Guide to Lesbianism for Beginners'.

Can't wait until later - I am so excited.

Kissy Kissy - Love Tracy x

Note to regular readers - of course there will be an update later this evening - please check back for the latest installment :) 

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