Ready to rock and roll

Black cape - Check

Pointy hat - check

Black cat - check

Wart on nose - check

Cackle - check

Cauldron - check

Eye of Newt - check

Gizzard of Lizard - check

Broomstick - check

Woop - di -doo!!!

Natter

Now then - let's have a think about communication. We have so many different ways of communicating with people in our hi-tech computer driven world. We have e mail, sms, mms, blackberrys, e mail on the move, wi-fi, sat phones, and probably many many more - but in my little ignorant bubble I can't think of the others. Somebody smart and technology 'au fait' like Christian will be able to tell me loads more. Oh yes - we also have the good old 'dog and bone'. 

However - when I was a company trainer and training sales people to 'sell',  one thing I used to teach was that a large percentage of understanding in communication comes from the visual side of things. Body language - eye contact and all of that malarkey. It's extremely important - really. So that's why it's important to make the effort and actually get in front of people and engage with them in proper conversation. People need to be able to see your face when you are talking to them - so much can be misunderstood with the written word, and if you can see a person's face - one look, one smile, one frown, one expression, one raise of an eyebrow can speak volumes!

Perhaps is those who are in 'Charge' of us all realised this a bit more we may have more understanding and therefore less problems in the world today? I don't know what do you think? 

For me personally you can't beat a good old natter across a table with someone. So today I'm off to have a good old natter with Trish. 

Music Playlists

I have just had to remove the music playlist. It was a nice idea while it lasted but unfortunately it never worked properly - streaming issues? And what's more it slowed everything right down...drove me bonkers to be honest. So for now silence while reading this is the way forward. I may explore alternatives or spend more time searching for tracks without streaming issues so that it becomes less frustrating - but for now it is no more. If you like music while you read - you could just hum along to a tune that plays in your head - or switch on your i tunes - at least that way you get to listen to what you like and not something that I choose. 

Tunes I am listening to on today's i tunes playlist are......Highway Blues - Ernie Watts (Saxaphone), Place to Crash - Robbie Williams, Amazing - Aerosmith, Big City Life - ?, Burning down the house - Talking Heads, Dirty little secret - Bon Jovi, Little Bird - Annie Lennox, and Something's Got a Hold of My Heart - Gene Pitney.

Talking of i tunes (were we? ) I need to update and synch my ipod with the latest playlists as I will be taking it to Spain next Friday - did I tell you I'm going to Spain next week for four days? I did? - well no harm in hearing it again - is there? Green? Envious? 

It's a good job our music choices aren't analysed by a shrink - they would have a field day with me :)

Non-stop

It's all going on around here! Firstly we have two house guests - very nice too if you like that sort of thing!!! They're not too bad - 2 irish chaps from goodness knows where, who are doing some work for 'The Company' and due to the credit crunch and ensuing tightening of belts - they are kipping down in the big house to save on hotel bills. This is all fine - but they have the gift of the blarney, and I can hear them blethering through my bedroom wall - at 7.30am if you please!!! This has necessitated me going through there and 'glaring' at them in a scarey way to get the message across that this a peaceful haven of tranquility and not some kind of Dublin fairground. Point taken. Anyway it's all forgiven as they have cooked my breakfast this morning - I was quite excited thinking it was going to be a fry up - but no the cupboard is bare - so it was spaghetti hoops on toast - ugh!! Still it's the thought that counts!!! 

Busy weekend to come - riding lesson tomorrow - and more domestic goddess stuff. (Woop di doo - I love ironing!) Something nice planned for Sunday afternoon / evening, and then the start to a very busy week. Monday is lunch with Cressie, drinks in the evening with Oboe Jane up in London, Tuesday is a possible night out with Jo, Wednesday it's back to Heathrow to fetch a globetrotting friend back from her travels and then feed her (long haul flight - poor thing!) Thursday is packing and shopping - and the Friday I'm getting an early flight from Gatwick for four days of frolicking in the sunshine (please let there be sunshine) in Caba Pino. 

I have no clue how I ever found the time to go to work!!!

She-wee

I've just been talking to Russell on the 'phone (big brother) and how we have laughed about recent developments in our family. We do laugh an awful lot when we chat - he's very funny and I love him - lots!!

I told him about my horrible journey yesterday and how the lack of toilet and refreshment facilities are such a problem for a woman of my age when stuck in traffic!!!

He suggested I get a "Shewee" - (which is NEVER going to happen) so I decided to research the said article on the WWW (women's wee wonders). This product allows women to ...and I quote....."Urinate when standing, camping, walking, skiing, climbing, travelling and excellent for use in unhygenic public toilets...."

Well - I'm sorry - but that's why Mother Nature gave me an expanding bladder. There is no way on God's earth that I could envisage myself attempting to use one of these devices at any time - ever. I have been known to do a 'countryside wee' and as regular readers will recall suffered a bad bout of nettle rash as a result (ouch - how that stung) - I have pee'd in fields, hedgerows, stables, trailers and horse lorries (shavings are extremely absorbent). But I couldn't use one of these things. First of all I wear trousers or jeans most of the time - so please explain how - when stuck in traffic - with Dennis the lorry driver looking down into my drivers seat from the cab of his articulated lorry - I am going to remove my trousers, knickers, have a pee, empty the device and get dressed again - all the while maintaining my dignity? Dennis would be out of his cab faster than you can say 'Dennis - get out of your cab".

When you look at the device on the picture above it doesn't look to me like it would hold much volume - does it? So what happens when it is full and it starts to overflow? OH NO!!! Then there is the problem of storage...imagine - you're in your car stuck on the M40 and you need a pee. Where do you empty it? Open the door and just chuck it onto the carriageway? Charming! Or, use an empty coke / water bottle that you happen to have knocking around in the map pocket of your car? You see - the problems that one of these things creates are horrific. I have been stuck in traffic many many times over the years and have never once wee'd myself - so I just don't feel that a device to prevent this happening is necessary. 

Can you just imagine going hill walking with a group of other like minded middle aged people and then saying "Just a minute folks, I need a wee-wee" and then whipping out a 'she-wee' and using it in front of everybody!!! Of course not - you would have to go behind a tree to maintain any semblance of dignity - and that then negates the use for the device altogether - we can all do pee-squats behind a tree!!! You see - the device is pointless.

They come in three different colours - as if colour co-ordination is important !!!  Phone a friend to see what they're going to be wearing for a day out and casually mention which colour 'she-wee' are you bringing also - I would hate for us to clash!!! They are available in clear, blue and pink.

So - there will be no 'she-wee' on my Christmas present list this year but I have a feeling that for £3.99 I may just get one as a stocking filler from our Russell - and woe betide him if I do!!! Oh yes - for and extra £1.40 you can order an extension pipe!!! Ha ha ha xx

Great Great Website

I love this website. Some people (who incidentally are allowed to vote - yea Gods!!) are very dense and send  e mails to the BBC  "Have your Say"  website - expressing their dumb opinions in an even dumber way.  Many, many examples of this phenomenon are to be found there. Take the time to browse it and read some of the nonsensical sh*te that some members of our fabulous UK television watching population express - fantastic!!! Better still are the website editor's comments :) Love it!! I challenge you to not be laughing out loud within a couple of minutes.

Great Things and Good People

A very good friend of mine has a life 'Mantra'. They believe in it and it seems to work for them. Their life mantra is "Great things and good people come into my life". They repeat this mantra often throughout the day - and guess what? It's working!  They must say it quite loudly because it's working for me too!!! Yippee :)

Adventures on the M40 - well off the M40 actually !

Last night I stayed away from home - ooo 'er - get her - dirty stop out (and a very nice time was had by all!).  This morning I set off home in very good time to get back to this neck of the woods in time for a lunch date with a pal. However - there was an accident on the M40 and they closed it - b**stards!! How thoughtless of someone to have an accident when I wanted to get home - honestly. So the resulting 6 hour (should have been 90 minutes) journey was a bit of a 'mare. I was dying for a pee, hungry, thirsty and quite frustrated (to say the least). I did however get to visit many Oxfordshire Villages on my re-routed journey home - myself and half the population of Southern England !

So places I have seen today include Thame, Sydenham, Tetsworth, Postcombe, Stokenchurch, Beacons Bottom, Cadmore End, Lane End, and Handy Cross. Hopefully next time I visit these places I will be feeling much better about the experience. 

Would I do it again? What? Get stuck in a 6 hour traffic jam in exchange for an evening in Banbury? Absolutely I would.

When I got home -  finally - I had a nice nap!

"Gosh Charles - I love the way you handle your sword" thinks Camilla

Never underestimate the underdog

See why here!!

Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeen

Recently somebody said to me that I can be a bit scarey - they weren't the first person to tell me this - (imagine how much bravery they would have had to find to impart this observation to me- yikes!) but maybe they'll be the last! I do actually have my own broomstick - and a very good friend often calls me "Witch" as a term of endearment (I think it's a term of endearment anyway!) I even wrote a short story for this person a couple of years ago and the theme was ....? Yes - you've guessed it - Witches and Wizards!!  I can definitely see a pattern here can't you? All quite apt really as in 3 days it's the witching hour. I wonder where I shall fly to on Friday night? 

This led me to wake up a bit and think perhaps maybe I am a bit scarey sometimes - and why that might be. I do have a kind of 'Don't f**k with me attitude' which is probably some kind of defense device - well no, not probably - it's a definite...and then I got to thinking how badly that may come across sometimes. So today I have explored this - and come to the conclusion that it's probably based around fear - isn't all negative stuff? We all have deep-rooted internal fears - usually created in childhood and teenage years - but how they manifest themselves in our behaviour patterns and how we allow them to do damage is a whole other story - the trick is to recognise them, understand what creates them and how they affect other people (who is that running away?) and change the behaviour patterns.

So if I've scared you in the past I unreservedly apologise - it wasn't about anything you did - it was all about me!!! Hopefully with my new level of understanding I can resist this pattern in the future!!...and allow my 'softer' side to be more apparent for more of the time - after all -what is there to be afraid of?

I'm off out to look for a pink fluffy 'Fairy' outfit for halloween - there'll be no more scarey witches around here :)

Seriously

Aren't there more important things to get all het up about than this?

I just don't really get what all the fuss is about. Every day there are homeless people walking the streets, children dying of starvation across the world, people being oppressed, mutilated and murdered by bombs, war, famine, desease. Do we really give one about what these two said or didn't say on the answerphone? Can't quite understand the column inches dedicated to it to be honest.

Jack's been

Jack Frost has been and tiptoed all over our garden. It looks fantastic. I went to take a photograph but my  camera battery is flat (doh). There is quite a covering and Millie clearly can't remember frost from last year as she has snuffled and growled at the grass this morning. Everything is white over and it it truly lovely. I adore mornings like this.

More Muffin top news

Well - eating out twice in one day isn't going to help - now is it? I had a Pasta Lunch with Nicola at Zizzi's in Kingston  - where two hours flashed past in the blink of an eye - very enjoyable - much laughter - discussing mothers (yea gods) families (nooooooooo) and other girlie things - including recent 'life' updates (fantastic) - and then tonight I have taken a house guest out for a curry. Because of the muffin top worries I only ordered Indian starters - but made the mistake of ordering enough to feed six people - and then had to try and eat them all!!! As a result I am feeling even more podgy, and have my top button undone as I sit and type this.  Tomorrow night I'm having Thai Curry (or so I'm told by a friendly lumberjack) and then after that I'm going to have to go on a diet of dust and fresh air for a few weeks. I cannot bear to grow a winter warmer layer - I really cannot bear it. I don't ever want to be called 'fatty'.

Muffin Top

It's true - I am putting weight on.  I have two pairs of jeans that were Dan's and when she gave them to me I could pull them off without undoing the zips. Now I am struggling to fasten them. I have been able to see my hip bones for at least the last three years - now they are buried to the point where I am no longer sure that I have them (are my legs held on to my pelvis with string then now?) It's all this decadent living - and since Phoebe moved yards I don't have to go down each day and muck her out anymore so that daily exercise has disappeared from my 'fitness regime' (fitness regime? what bloody fitness regime? does that include the 'glass to lips' exercise with 1,000 reps?). I am going to have to do something and quite fast as I'm off to Spain at the end of next week and hopefully it will be warm enough to get out my bikini. Perhaps I need to stop food shopping in M&S for a while and start shopping in Salads 'R' Us or somewhere similar? I really don't want to go on a diet as it's sooooo boring - but neither do I want to be a chumpa wumpa :) The other contributory factor is my happiness. When I am miserable I lose weight, and when I am content I put weight on. So that tells you that right now I am very happy!!!

The one good thing is that my buzzooms are bigger, and quite a bit firmer (oh how lovely, how truly truly lovely)  - but getting bigger boobs is not enough of an incentive to make me relaxed about becoming a podge. 

At the moment I am a size ten / twelve - but previously I was a size eight / ten, and I have actually been a size six / eight in the dim and distant past. If I carry on with the weight gain thing inside a year I'm going to be a size 16/18 - and that would never ever do!!!

So we need to think of a plan which will enable us to say goodbye to the muffin top but  keep the boobies. Any ideas gratefully received - but please don't anybody suggest anything stupid like running.

Read any good books lately?

I like to meet and find out about new people. I love to learn and discover about folks and what makes them tick - their motivations - their quirks and nuances - their main drives - their ambitions - their goals - their foibles - their successes - their faults - their failings - their joys and all the component parts that make up a person. Learning about people is always full of interesting surprises, and a great person is like a great book - always something new to discover with every turn of the page. The main style of the book is mostly the same - but the story changes as it develops and there are often things that you don't expect - to keep your interest going!!! The difference between a book and a person is with a person you never really get to the end of the story and there is always another chapter.

Go Amelia, Go

Precious beautiful delightful cute Amelia has crawled for the first time. In no time at all she'll be running rings round everybody! Love her x

My friend

I have a special friend who has been a large part of my life for almost the entirety of my adulthood. We share many precious things.  We have experienced a great deal and have come through a lot together. There has been the odd break in our friendship, a few misunderstandings, bits of anger, recriminations, trials and some tribulations. However - we have weathered all of these storms and our friendship is now strong and true. I trust this person implicitly and cannot imagine my life without them. Over the last few years this friend has supported me, laughed with me, held me while I cried, cheered me on when I've succeeded, helped me, comforted me (when needed) and taught me an enormous amount about myself, and has helped me to understand and find my place in the world, and (too many times to mention) they have helped me to reach for and find a bigger and better understanding of that same world. 

This person is extremely bright, forward thinking, accomplished and extremely successful. Like all successful people - sometimes they are attacked and vilified. I suppose that's just the way of the world. Sad, but true. 

The thing is - I don't like that - when somebody that I care about is misunderstood, their motives questioned, their integrity put on trial for all and sundry to judge. It's not fair and it's not right. That must sound quite naive - expecting things to be fair and right - but I still do expect things to be fair and right and get royally pissed off when they're blatantly not.

What matters to me is the truth about this person, and I see that truth all the time. I see the good things - and only the good things (that's because there isn't really anything else to see) - and they far outweigh and outnumber the fictitious bad characteristics that some people who have no true knowledge have imagined and then reported. So, if they would like to know the truth about this person - they need to come and talk to me. I'll put them straight.

Weekend review

On Friday night I went out to dinner with the crew from the yard - and we had a really great time. I laughed and laughed all evening - photo's on facebook:) Yesterday I went up to 'town' to see 'Les Mis' - affectionately known as "the Glums" - and I have to say - it was fab!!! I cried about four times all in all and according to my Mum that wasn't too bad because when she went she cried all the way through!!! After the theatre we went here  for dinner (that was fab too) - the taxi driver was threatening to fall asleep on the way home - yikes - and then today I have spent most of the day in bed - (lazy and decadent) apart from a quick run to M&S to get food for dinner. I was going to go and ride Phoebe - but it's been lamping it down with rain all day - and being a bit of a fair weather rider - that idea soon went out of the window.

I have had a really great time this weekend:) All weekends should be like this one. Oh yes - yesterday I got a gift from someone - I can't tell you what it is - but I was highly amused and rather surprised - and I quite liked it :)

Love this .......

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

and run my stick along the public railings

and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

and pick the flowers in other people's gardens

and learn to spit.

 

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

and eat three pounds of sausages at a go

or only bread and pickles for a week

and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

 

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

and pay our rent and not swear in the street

and set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Did you know?

Interesting facts....

1. The Average Briton spends 3 years of their life sitting on the toilet - but only 2 weeks kissing!

2. Paris Hilton wears size 11 shoes

3. Every year 1,000,000 gallons of pee is deposited by dogs in London Parks

4. It takes an average of 130 telephone calls to arrange for a A-List celebrity to attend a Bafta Award ceremony

5. One Third of British women are blonde - but only 3% are naturally so (Matching collar and cuffs!)

6. The annual collective pre-tax pay packet for the UK is £860 Billion

Now, don't say you never learn anything !

Food from the 1970's

I've just arrived home after a night out for dinner - about 30 of us in one huge room in a nice pub in Shepperton. I had Prawn Cocktail, Steak and chips, and apple pie and custard - good old fashioned food (I would have had black forest gateau - but alas it wasn't on the menu). We haven't stopped laughing all evening - it was a very good night out indeed :)

Cake in the Middle of the day - and other decadence

I have just been on the 'phone to my friend Nicola. Oh - how we laughed ! She told me she was just eating cake in the middle of the day and we decided that this was incredibly decadent - albeit forgiveable, and understandable. Then she tells me that she has an M&S Pain au Chocolait dessert thing in her fridge that she's soon going to scoff. I wouldn't mind but Nicola is tiny - a mere size eight - and whatever she eats has no future bearing on the size of her - it's a good job I really like her. We then discussed new dishcloths and tea towels - which is a "women of a certain age" discussion. Actually we decided that is it okay to throw out old dishcloths and tea towels whenever they are starting to look less than shiny white - because at Lidl they're as cheap as chips. It's a northern thing (Nicola is another one from up North) - and northern women don't discard cloths just because they're looking grubby - we save them for cleaning shoes or such nonsense. Anyway Nicola has had a good day because she has treated herself to a new white dish cloth. I totally understand the joy that will have brought her. I then told her about my good day - which is for entirely more substantial reasons than a new dishcloth!!! Like a true friend she was delighted to hear my news. I'm meeting her for lunch on Monday - can't wait!!!

Friday Night

Tonight we're going here for dinner. There's about twenty of us from the yard all going out together - I predict a riot:)

Jordan castrates her horse !

Jordan - aka Katie Price has been at it again. In her 'reality' tv show (whose reality is that please?) she has now assisted a veterinary surgeon to geld her horse. Gelding a horse is a tricky operation and it is done on male horses to lower their testosterone levels so that they are more amenable to being ridden. A Stallion is a fine animal and has more presence than a Gelding - flashier paces - a more complete and stunning movement - however they can be very tricky to ride and to handle - so most male horses are gelded. It's usually a job for the vet and is mainly done when the horse is young. I can't think of a single horse owner who would want to assist at that operation - so why would she? Apart from anything else you would require a modicum of intelligence to assist a vet so that would normally preclude her - wouldn't it? 

I don't get Jordan - I can't work out if she's very very dumb or very very smart. Mind you saying that - she's done a pretty good job of totally castrating Peter Andre.

Dinner and wine

There is a new branch of the Bengal Clipper here in Weybridge and I have been twice in one week. I went earlier in the week with Dan's Dad and the boys - and we had a really great meal. So last night I went again - and again - I wasn't disappointed. I did have rather too much wine early on last night - but then calmed down a bit during dinner - it was necessary as I was running the risk of appearing to be that dreadful middle aged lush. When I drink I get to the point where I am thinking "oh  dear - I should stop now before I go too far and make a complete tit of myself!" Sometimes I go straight past that point without heeding the warning and do indeed make a complete tit of myself -(Chaise Longue - Justin's wedding!)  but then at other times common sense reigns and I go onto soft drinks. Making a tit of yourself after too much alcohol is okay when you're in your teens, also it can be easily overlooked when you're in your twenties, at a push it's forgiveable when you're in your thirties (as long as you have understanding friends)  but it's never okay when you're in your forties - when you're in your forties it's just incredibly sad and ridiculous!!! I did have one moment at The Belfry a couple of years ago which resulted in a two day hangover - but that wasn't really my fault as the events team plied me with WKD which tastes like Tizer - one moment I was okay - the next I was acting like a paraplegic on speed :)

Last night I did the coke thing for a while and then had some more wine when I got home - thinking some dutch courage may be required!!!

As it turned out no dutch courage was required at all and I had a perfectly lovely evening:) 

Songs of the Salesman

If you've ever wondered what a song on a TV advert is - or where you can listen to it properly - or even download it - wonder no more. Instead go here where they are listed!!! Please don't think I spend all my time trawling the 'net for trivia - no - plagiarism is rife around here and I knicked this from David's blog.

Aching

I have been very very very very very busy today. I have been doing the cleaning that has waited about 5 months to be done. I have finally done all my personal paperwork and filed it all away - the spot behind the sofa where it had all been piling up now looks strangely empty! I have cleaned windows, dusted skirting boards, faffed about with my feather duster (so many cobwebs) vacuumed the carpets to within one inch of their lives. Everywhere smells of polish and I feel so much better now that all is clean, tidy and organised. 

I have just had a lovely risotto for dinner and am now working my way through a bottle of Chablis (all by myself - alone!)

I haven't quite managed to do the ironing - but I can do that in the morning before popping to Esher for lunch. I think I'm out tomorrow night too, and then out of Friday for a nosh with everyone from the stables (that will be very good fun - much laughter and merry making and seeing Lisa who has just returned from holiday), Saturday I'm going up 'town' to the theatre and for dinner, and then off to watch American footie at Wembley on Sunday. By Monday I will be ready for a long sit down. Oh yes - my back hurts from all the scrubbing and polishing today :)

Hot News

Jane is back. After an unforgivable but apparently unavoidable absence of more than EIGHT MONTHS - she has posted something. Read it and laugh. Welcome back with your Oboe, my dear.

Lovely day

What a great day!!! I have just taken the car to have the back light fixed. If you're looking for great service with a cheery smile, coffee and toast while you wait - go to the Nissan Garage at Walton Bridge. Fantastic. Then off to M&S and Tesco - the self checkout machine worked flawlessly (which in itself is nothing short of a minor miracle) and the staff were cheery and helpful (there must be something in  the water!). I've just arrived home to find a dozen roses waiting for me - which is absolutely fab - I have to say. The sun is shining and everyone I have spoken to today so far has been smiling and happy :)

Booked it, packed it, F**ked off!!!

Last night I booked flights to Spain - just for a long weekend at the beginning of November. I am so excited. Unlike Peter Kay, however - I didn't book it on teletext!! Oh no, I booked it on t'internet :) Cheesecake? Cake wi' cheese? Wot's tharrabout?

Aggression in Chesterfield

My brother Russell lives and works in Nottingham. He works hard and is good at his job. As a by-product of that he has some nice things including his latest acquisition  which is a Lotus Elise (male menopause?!!). I've just been chatting to him on the 'phone and he told me that he was driving to an appointment the other day in a less than salubrious area of Chesterfield and he accidentally hit a dog that ran out in front of his car. The dog was okay - got up - and ran off...but within seconds he was surrounded by 4 aggressive looking youths who then proceeded to kick the cr*p out of his car. 

It was an accident that he hit the dog - the dog was okay - so why would these people feel the need to turn all feral and start attacking him? He said that his initial instinct was to get out of the car and have a go back - but then common sense and self preservation kicked in and he drove off. Obviously he reported it to the police - two hours to make a statement - and since then he has heard nothing :(

What is the world coming to? 

Shim Shams for Meddlers

Today I'm going somewhere but I can't say where. "Shim shams for Meddlers" my Mum would say. Whenever we asked a 'nosey' question she would answer by saying "Shim Shams for Meddlers". "What's in that bag Mum?", "where are you going?", "What are you doing?", "who was that on the 'phone?"...if she didn't want to say we would get the standard reply! I have said it myself to Dan on many occasions - together with "have you had enough to eat?...are you sure? ...wouldn't you like something else?" - or - "Are you going to be warm enough dressed like that.." - or even my favourite "Where do you think you're going dressed like that...?". The kind of questions that all Mums ask - drive you nuts - and to which there are not really any answers apart from 'Kevin' type responses of "..Uh.." or something like that!

So - "where are you going today Tracy?"...........

More Music

I've just changed my Music playlist - (she's so getting really very good at at this IT malarkey!) - and I had to put 'Tracy" by the Cufflinks on there as it is the very first record I ever owned. My Dad bought it for me when I was a toddler and I used to dance around the living room to it (or so I'm told!) I still dance round the living room to music now - but my tastes have changed somewhat!!! - which is a bit of a relief!!

Phoebe in Carluccios

After lunch she wanted Chocolate Ice cream!!! Who were we to argue? Don't you just love kids?

Great Customer Service - Nissan

Have just called the local Nissan dealer to get a price for the rear light fitting for the truck. £170 plus vat - that's because it's a complete unit - and only £30 plus vat for fitting - I don't think that's too bad really - I was expecting it to be more than that. They answered the phone straight away and there was none of this "Press 1 for Frustration, Press 2 for annoyance, Press 3 to be disconnected, Press 4 to get steam coming out of your ears" (Bt could learn from Nissan) I just spoke to Kevin, he gave me the price and booked it in, ordered the part - which will be here tomorrow morning - and it only takes half an hour to get done. So far I'm impressed with the Nissan Dealership at Walton :)

Monday, Monday

There is no fine feeling than getting up on a Monday morning and not having to go to work!!!! Knowing that outside Tracy's world people are stuck in traffic and experiencing that 'Monday morning feeling'. I am very lucky to be having this time off right now:)

Ha ha ha ha ha :)

Sad times

Today I spoke to lovely old friend on the telephone. I worked for this gentleman for two years a while ago and loved every minute of it. He's a bit of a rogue but a huge character - kind and generous to fault.  When we worked together he used to make me laugh about a hundred times a day. Talking to him today and then thinking about him made me cry because he's very ill you see. He has cancer and after four years of invasive treatments he is now facing his last few months, or maybe his last few weeks. He's not old - maybe mid sixties - and should, by rights have another twenty plus years to go. I could hear the resignation and fear in his voice and it was the saddest thing I've ever heard. He's over 150 miles away - but I wish I could have just reached out to him and put my arms around him and made it all go away - but I can't - nobody can. I've said goodbye to too many people to cancer in recent years, and it feels far more cruel and indiscriminate than any other kind of illness. The random way it strikes and the harsh way that it damages is more than I can fathom.

Please God they find some kind of cure soon.

Naturally blonde?

What a tw*t I am - have just come back from Banbury - and as I was leaving I reversed into a fence and completely totalled the back light fitting on the car. I wouldn't mind but I'm not naturally blonde. I've only had that car a few months and I've done loads of damage to it already. I had a great afternoon out - a bit too much wine (!) - and got up to the kinds of things that are usually reserved for teenagers. But I don't think I'll be getting an ASBO any time soon:)

My Mum

I love my Mum - she's great. I have just been chatting with her on the 'phone. This week she has had to go to the Dentist (our dentist is called Mr John - which Dan christened him when she was about 4 - and I went to school with him - he's lovely) to see about new dentures, then she had to go and get a new prescription for specs, and finally a mammogram. She told me that she feels like she has been pulled and prodded and poked and pushed to the end of her tether!!! Every part of her is falling to bits - so I said "hmmm - a bit like the six million dollar woman?" to which she replied "I don't think I'd be worth thruppence ha'penny"!!! Northern humour - you just can't beat it :)

Green and slimy little white dog.

Millie has just come back in from the garden. She is green and slimy from head to foot. She has fallen in the pond again. Bloody dog. Bloody pond. Bloody Hell.

Brave Dan

Today Dan and Roo are eventing. It's the last event of the season. They're staying in the bigger class now - so that's huge progress. She has just sent me a picture of Roo all plaited up and ready to go - fingers crossed for them both. Brave and fearless duo!!!! I am so proud of her - because truth be known - she's not naturally brave and fearless at all. She takes after me in that she's quite cautious and not naturally sporty and gung ho. So I know that each and every time she rides at an event - she has to face massive fears and conquer them. She does that quietly and with great grace. She gathers her inner strength and determination,  and then her desire to achieve becomes bigger than her fears. So - she is actually much braver than those who are naturally fearless. I have no clue where she gets her inner strength and determination and the quiet still way in which she deals with and faces her demons. Both her dad and I have very little of that quiet grace! (No - we're much more likely to be running around making a big song and dance about everything :)

I have seen her do that over and over again since she first sat, (trembling) on a pony at nine years old - that's why whenever she falls off she gets straight back on again, and that is why I am so immensely and massively proud of her, and I will always be her biggest fan. 

I, on the other hand - am not brave or fearless at all - mind you saying that I was a little bit brave yesterday in my riding lesson - but only because Phoebe is so very good. However, this morning my legs are stiff  and I struggled to get them out of bed...which, for me, is not a good thing.

Busy today - dropping Su off at Heathrow for two weeks in the States (jammy cow) and then up to Oxfordshire for lunch. Before all of that I have to walk the dog, do the laundry, iron something to wear, feed the cat, check on the fish, phone a friend, write some cheques (boo hiss), call my Mum, go and buy some wine (hic!), put diesel in the car, fill the windscreen washer, write and post a birthday card, get out the scaffolding (for applying make-up), apply polyfiller, go for a short run (if my legs will let me), yaddah yaddah yaddah........

Today I think I need 3 weetabix :) I hope Dan has had hers!!

I love my Horse!!!

I've just got back from a riding lesson and I'm ashamed to tell you that it's the first time I've even sat on Phoebe for 6 weeks. She'd never been in this particular menage before and would have had every right to spook, bolt, freak out - especially when a huge flock of birds flew out of the huge Poplar trees right at the side of us - or nap to her friends who were in the fields at the side of us - but no - because she is the absolute sweetheart that she is she just behaved herself impeccably - not even a flinch when they started the rowing race on the river with a starting pistol some ten minutes into the lesson !! She did everything we asked of her and gave even more - working soft and round after just ten minutes of warm up exercises. I was using muscles that I haven't used for 6 weeks - thighs, abs, shoulders and pecs....ouch!!!  She is truly a diamond among horses and I am so very very very blessed to have her.  I have a feeling that tomorrow I will be walking like Douglas Bader :)

Guy and Madonna

I've just been reading 'The Sun' online. The front page today is all about Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce. It's sad and painful when people divorce and it staggers me that any newspaper would write about it in all its gory details. (says she who has just been reading it all!) Nobody knows what happened in their marriage apart from those two people - and even then their accounts will differ as they saw the same thing but through different eyes - with a different perspective and coming from a different viewpoint. What business is it of anyone else's (apart from perhaps Fiona Shackelton - and my, my - it really is her business £££) whether or not he is tight with the cash, she is a control freak, or whatever it is that they're reporting at the moment? When people do something with their talent and as a result end up in the public eye (whether they courted that publicity or not - let's not have that heated debate) should the sadder events in their lives really be discussed and explored by all and sundry? How would you feel if it were your divorce? Nobody really knows what goes on between two people in a marriage behind closed doors and it seems so sad to me that the end of a relationship that at some point was filled with love and honour and great joy - should be the discussion of  millions who have probably made all the same mistakes themselves.

Perhaps it's time for more reporting restrictions - but then we are in the realms of another issue entirely. I don't know - what do you think?

Days I Like

Today has been a lovely lovely day. It began with helping a friend - I think I was of some assistance!!

 That was followed by a lovely time at lunch with Trish - steak and chips and a great natter. Love my Fridays with Trish.  Then a quick zip up the A3 to Wisley Gardens for a lovely walk and some great conversation.

I got home to be told I was being taken out to dinner with the family to the new Indian Restaurant in Weybridge - and the food and company were excellent. We had a lovely time - much laughter. 

Have just got home to be greeted by a wagging tail (from Millie)....wonderful XX

This afternoon

This afternoon I'm going to lunch with Trish. I have noticed that the tie belt on my dressing gown feels a bit shorter today (as it has to go round more of me) Billy Bunter hasn't seen anything yet. So perhaps I should order salad? Sack that - it's steak and chips for me!!! Then I'm going to Wisley Gardens (I think) for a lovely walk  :) Woop de doo!!!

Crawling

Just to let you know - Precious Beautiful Amelia (my Goddaughter) crawled for the first time last week. Yippee!!! In no time at all she'll be walking from pub to pub!!!! (well if she's like her Dad she will be!)

She's pissed!!!!

Have just been out on an impromptu night out in Red Bar with Dan (not our Dan - another Dan who I used to work with) - he put his credit card behind the bar - and well - we hammered it I'm afraid !!!! Ha ha ha ha ...I've had quite a lot of gin and this is my third attempt at typing this - and I've got a busy day tomorrow...Oh dear :(   Funneeeeeeeee !!

Turning Point

Today has been a bit of a turning point for me. I did something today that even a few days ago I could never have seen myself doing. I'm not going to tell you what it was on here for all the world to see - but it was lovely and it felt just right. And I am very very very pleased :)

Music

You will notice that this blog now plays music as you read. At the right hand side of the page is now a playlist and I've put some of my favourite music on there. I hope you like it:) When it's working that is!!

Day out in Oxford

Today has been brill. I went to Oxford for the first time which is ridiculous seeing as it's only an hour away. I was shown round by somebody who studied there and so knows all the best places and he showed me the huge dining room where they filmed for Harry Potter - it was amazing. Then we went here which is the most amazing building. The beautiful carving and stone work were enough to bring tears to my eyes. I love historic buildings and this one had so much craftmanship - it was fantastic - and if you've never been I would heartily recommend it. I even got on a bus for the first time in God knows how many years after using the 'park and ride' car park which is just off the M40. We had a lovely lunch and then afternoon tea. All in all a Grand Day Out.

Movie review - Nights In Rodanthe

Okay okay - so the movie starred Richard Gere - which in itself is enough to give it a 9 out of ten. Unfortunately that's the only thing about the film that scores highly. It's a typical girl's film - weepy at the end - both me and Su were in floods - but the story is a bit weak - and there's not really much to it. Would I recommend it? Only if you're a hardened RG fan. Otherwise I would say give it a miss until you can borrow the DVD. He's still worth one though, even though he's probably got a bus pass by now :)

I think we're finally getting a few things right

After three or four months of feeling that I'm getting everything wrong...which let's face it - is not a good way to feel - self blame and self abuse (not in THAT way) are not emotionally healthy things to carry around - today I finally feel that we are making progress. I have received validation this morning from somebody whose opinion I trust that I am taking steps in the right direction and we are making progress. 

Learning about yourself is a bit like learning to drive a car ...for many lessons you simply feel like you're not getting anywhere and wonder what the point is, and if you're ever going to get it - and then one day - as if by magic - it all comes together and you can drive!!! I'm not saying that we could now pass a driving test - and I also know that on any learning journey - we take three steps forward and sometimes four steps back - but for the very first time since I embarked upon this journey it feels like we are going in the right direction, at about the right speed, and I can see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Being unravelled is not a nice feeling - but it is necessary to gain the insight needed to put yourself back together. When I began this journey I was told that I would question every last little thing that I always believed to be true and more importantly - I would doubt and question my own judgement about everything. That was quite scarey!

But - in the end I would be able to rely upon my own judgement like never before. This weekend I trusted my own inner voice and my personal standards and took some required action - which it turns out - was exactly the right thing to do. So it would seem that my inner voice is back talking the right talk. I'm so pleased:)

Richard Gere

I love any movie with Richard Gere starring. From the exceptional "American Gigolo" in the eighties (cannot hear Blondie's 'Call me' without seeing him strutting round his bedroom trying on clothes - sigh......) to 'An Officer and a Gentleman', 'Pretty Woman" (Oh I wish he would do that Piano thing with me....) all the chick flicks that he's been in (more sighing......) and I even love him when he plays a baddie (Internal Affairs is a fab movie). Tonight I'm off to the flicks in Kingston to see him in 'Nights In Rodanthe'. No doubt there will be more sighing. Even though he's now nearly 60 - he's still worth one - or two.

Weighty Issues

I'm putting some weight on. I've actually got quite a bit bigger in the last ten days or so - which is extremely weird seeing as I have only just (yesterday) got my appetite back and have been eating like a sparrow recently. My jeans (3 pairs) are all feeling a bit snug - and I wouldn't like to try and squeeze into any jodphurs right now. My first question to anybody else who was saying this would be '"You're not pregnant are you?" - but unless it was the second immaculate conception - that's not the problem. Despite all I was told as a child I do know that you don't get pregnant from sitting on public toilet seats, looking at boys, or any of those dreadful mythical activities that carry the threat of pregnancy -(exactly how f**cked up were our parents for filling our heads with all that nonsense when we were kids?) - I do know how to get pregnant - it requires some sexual activity - and there are more swimming pools in the Sahara Desert than there is bedroom activity in my life right now!!! (more's the pity - and believe me - I'm working on it!)

So maybe it's just middle age spread? I'm not sure really. But I know that there has always been a direct correlation between what you shove in your mouth (!) and what subsequently rests upon your hips and belly. Even my boobies are getting bigger - (let's be thankful here for small mercies - and goodness me - they are very small mercies!)

Maybe I'm a victim of a phantom 'feeder'. Some random guy who likes his women 'BIG' sneaks into my room late at night, and then feeds me while I am asleep. I watched a tv programme about 'feeders' a few weeks ago - please tell me - how screwed up is that?

Mind you - it might just be down to the fact that I'm spending all my time recently sitting on my backside at the computer.

My Food Mojo has returned

I know that you will be pleased - nay - thrilled to hear that my food Mojo has returned - I was getting a bit concerned as the normal thrill I feel when food shopping in M&S had seemingly deserted me. However I can now report that shopping in there this afternoon was a complete pleasure and for my dinner tonight I have an Aberdeen Angus steak pie (for two - but I shall eat it all) and some red cabbage. I also have two Raspberry Pannacotta puddings - and I'll be eating both of those too.

When my appetite returns it's a good sign :)

Stalker update

Just in case you're wondering - the weird guy that I abandoned in the pub on Thursday night after 45 minutes hasn't called again - he clearly got the message - I don't know how he couldn't - but it was a tad concerning that he called out to me "I'll call you" as I dashed through the pub door whilst making my hasty retreat.

Another Week

So - here we are facing another week - which at the moment is quite empty - well not totally - but a bit! I am still waiting for inspiration to strike - a sense of direction or purpose to come whizzing into my brain - am quite happy to wait a while longer for that to happen - but filling my time with constructive stuff is proving difficult. I've never been one of those people who can just 'be' - I am one of those people who likes to 'do'.  I should really be revelling in this time off work - after all - it's been a long time coming - but I feel quite guilty about not being productive. One of the dangers is having too much thinking time. If you don't have anything creative to think about - or work related - you tend to fill your head with all kinds of sh**e. Nonsensical rubbish for the most part :) Especially my head (no surprise there then). 

I am convinced that the Universe will reveal my next path to me when the time is right.

Maybe I should do some voluntary work?

Weekend report

You may be interested to know (or not) that I didn't do any of the chores over the weekend that I was meant to do. I spent the whole time doing absolutely nothing of any importance. Frazer, my brother arrived on Saturday afternoon, so we stayed in and had food and watched the X factor . On Sunday I walked Millie in the morning with Jo and Colin, and then in the afternoon I walked her again along the riverside in Weybridge, a quick drink at the Minnow and then GBK for food. Then later on I went into Weybridge with Frazer and met Su for a drink. 

And that's all - no cleaning, no laundry, no ironing, no horse riding - not a thing of any importance...how bad is that? I really am turning into a total tramp, slut, lazy arse....

No rest for the wicked

Today I will be busy. I have the entire house to clean - a week's worth of laundry to do - food shopping - a lunchtime coffee date - all my personal admin to attend to - and about 7 dvd's that I bought a while ago to watch (not that I'm going to watch them all today - clearly not!)  There's  never enough hours in a day! Oh yes - Millie's walk and possibly even a trip to the stables to go and see Phoebe.

Brighton

Today Trish, Millie and I went to Brighton. We had a great time. Millie loved the beach (I think) and we had Fish and Chips and a lovely walk in the bracing sea air. We bought sticks of rock and now I am very tired......zzzzzzzzz. I love my fridays with Trish.

Next time we'll take the children too.

I'm just popping out now to fetch an Indian takeaway

Brighton - by the Sea

Today Trish and I are taking Millie to Brighton to see the sea. I am really excited. We're going to walk the dog on the beach and then have Fish and Chips out of the paper. It's a small trip that we've been promising ourselves all through the Summer - and today we're finally going...yippee!! I will post photographs later.

Forty five minutes

That's exactly how long tonight's date lasted. As soon as I saw him  I wished it could have been 45 seconds. I know that sounds unkind - but he was absolutely nothing like his photograph - and I mean nothing - to the extent that I may even believe that he'd got the photo from some kind of catalogue of photos of average looking guys.  We were suppose to be having dinner - but I could never be that hungry. I would rather spend the rest of my life being fed by an intravenous drip. 

I managed to drink one glass of coke and I was away. (I would have drunk it quicker but I have sensitive teeth). When I sat down he hitched his chair nearer to mine and got right in my space, and right in my face - how irritating!!! This is the guy that's been calling me twice a day all week - so I suppose I should have known - but honestly - I was mortified - it was dreadful. The thought of joining a convent even crossed my mind. I even looked which way the ladies loos were to see if they were close enough to the door for me to do a runner...and that's something that my good manners would never normally allow me to contemplate :)

When I made my excuses and left after 45 minutes he said to me - "I'll call you tomorrow" - how thick skinned is that? - there I am - meant to be having dinner with him - leaving after less than an hour, and the daft bat still thinks he can call me tomorrow? Yea Gods - give me strength.....

How I managed to survive 45 minutes is a mystery to me - I was internally screaming after the first three minutes. He was boring and dull and well - kind of creepy. 

Within an hour of meeting him I had escaped and was sitting at Su's being fed Sausage, egg and chips and beans. That's what I call a result :) Normality (of a sort) has now been restored.

Millie

I completely forgot to mention Millie's latest adventure. On Sunday I let her out into the garden - it was lamping it down with rain - and then I lost her!!! She just wouldn't come back. I called her and called her and called her - no sign! I had to go out and figured she'd come back when she was ready. 

When I got back about two hours later - I shouted her - and round the corner she trotted - sodden and very bedraggled. Goodness knows where she had been but she looked mightily pleased to see me. I don't think she'll be making that mistake again :)

Stalker?

That guy has just called again.  I haven't even met him yet and he's calling me twice each day......"just for a chat". It's beginning to worry me now :(

Food

I have just eaten a Marks and Spencer fresh dressed Cromer Crab - and it was absolutely delicious :) Perhaps the appetite is coming back after all !!

Wavelength

I've just come home from Kingston - I went to meet a chap for coffee. It was interesting. We talked about all sorts of things - and funnily enough - he seemed to be on my wavelength about most things. We had about the same level of knowledge about people, how things work and self- awareness. That made a nice refreshing change - to be able to chat with somebody without having to explain what you mean about certain things - just to be able to talk to somebody who knows / understands exactly where you're coming from with stuff.

Will I see him  again? Hmm - not sure. He left it by saying that he would like to see me again - but he didn't want to be one of a number that I was dating - so if I was interested in taking things further to give him a call - but on the understanding that if I wanted to explore future possibilities with him I would be expected to only be seeing him. Fair enough I thought - he wasn't pushy or demanding - just very matter of fact. I respected that about him as it told me that he had great self respect and an awareness of what he wanted / expected, and anything else just wouldn't do.

Gremlins

There are Gremlins living at our house. For three years I have known EXACTLY where the keys are kept to the horse trailer. They are always there - that's where they live - and only I ever remove them, and then always put them back.

However, the Gremlins have been, and now they're not there. I have searched high and low. I know full well that if I leave it for a couple of days they will miraculously re-appear - because that's what always happens.

The same Gremlins are responsible for socks that go into the wash as a pair - coming out again as singular socks. They are also responsible when my car keys or mobile phone go missing and turn up in the bathroom  - or -  like last week - at the bottom of the dirty linen basket. Every home has its Gremlins :)

Stalker?

The chap who called me this morning at 8am has called another twice today to .."see how your day is going?"...does that make him a stalker ?- I haven't even met him yet and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable :(

Dan and Rupert Eventing at Dauntsey Park

The jumps are getting bigger!!! I am one very proud Mum xx

...and you are?.....

Okay - here's the deal. I have given my home phone number to a couple of chaps off the dating website. One of them has just 'phoned me for a chat - at 8.00am no less (is it me or that a bit early?). When I picked up the 'phone he just said 'Hi, it's me".....so I've just had a ten minute chat with some bloke and I have absolutely no clue whatsoever who he was !!! What a great way to start the day!!!

Dan and Rupert do well at Dauntsey Park

Dan has just 'phoned. She's been eventing today with Rupert at Dauntsey Park. They've gone a class bigger (no longer in the beginners class) and have jumped 1 metre 15cms, which for those of us still working in old money is 3'9" - which when you only stand 5'1"yourself - is pretty high!!! I reckon it's about shoulder height for me. Very brave my daughter!!!! Wish I was half as brave xx

Creased

I am absolutely creased laughing. I cannot get away from this computer - but in a minute I must as I have to get showered and ready to go to Trish's for lunch. I want to share with you some of the screen names of these guys from this website...so here goes.....Mr Vanlove (nice), Bigpole (?),

Digitaljedi (seriously? - he's a keeper) , Matureman (yes, lets), Rudesdon'treply (Ugly?...as he's not getting replies), Iamdynamite (needs exploding) Bigtomcat (ooh yes please) Mrtwubble (rightio), Bumponhead (you don't say?) and finally 'Fudgetunnel' (ooh quick - I must e mail him...NOT)

I have never, ever, ever laughed so much :)  I'm sure there'll be more later xx

..and furthermore...

The high number of notification e mails are blocking my e mail server. This now requires regular deleting - both here on my mac and also via webmail - tedious job - but somebody has to do it - oh yes - then I have to go and delete them all on my i-phone as well. Yesterday I had to fiddle with my settings and organise regular deletion from my mail server - that's something I've never had to do before. I also had to call BT (grrrrr) and get some technical assistance with this task. We are now set to only keep mail on the server for 7 days - which is great - until I go away for a few days and may miss important mail. I can always change the settings back again should the need arise.

Ho Hum - at least I now have plenty to do :)

One hundred and eighty three

That's how many e mails, winks, and 'so and so' has viewed your profile messages are in my inbox this morning. You would assume it's a bit like being in a chocolate shop? Well, no - actually - it's more like being in the bargain basement sale of a big department store that has decided to throw away every item of stock they have - a lot of rummaging is required - but maybe we might discover a beautiful pair of Jimmy Choo shoes on sale for a fiver. Keep looking and rummaging:)

Cute Cute Cute

This is Phoebe - Emma's daughter - today at lunch in Nando's at Walton. She is so cute and lovely. Afterwards we went shopping and she held my handbag while I tried on a few jackets. I love her to bits - she's great - very funny and a huge personality. 

So much fun :-)

This dating website thing is such a hoot - honestly - I haven't laughed so much in ages. I'm sure that some of these fine specimens of manhood will find the girl of their dreams one day - but they won't find her here - oh no!!!

To be fair - some of them seem very nice - well brought up - gentlemanly - nicely mannered - but - well, just a tad on the boring side - and then there's the usual bunch of wierdos - including one guy who has sent me some very explicit e mails regarding what he could do - given the chance - well - FAT CHANCE - is my reply to that!! There is the facility to block e mails from unwelcome suitors...but that would take away half the fun. The number of men who don't put their photo on there is staggering - then they e mail you the picture and it's so obvious why they wouldn't put it on the website in the first place. I have set up a google e mail address so they can mail me their photographs - one guy mailed me his - and to be kind I would say he looked like the back end of two buses. When I didn't reply to him again after seeing the photos he sent me a very cross e mail telling me that I wasn't 'all that' and so how dare I ignore him once I had seen his photo. Classic. Well I wouldn't cross the road to get to you mate - so I'm not going to lead you on am I? Be fair.

Photographs

Of course - there you are set up on a dating website. Hoping that you meet the love of your life...and what photograph do you publish? Obviously one that shows you in your best light - no? Maybe taken at a studio? One where you look lovely and handsome and kind and shows your physique off to its best? Or - do you take one of yourself at arms length with your mobile phone when you've got no shirt on and you're doing your ablutions in the bathroom - with naked lightbulb to boot - your man boobs are hanging down and you haven't even brushed your hair? Then - you take another three for good measure and publish those too - just in case the ladies can't quite make out the important features from the first one.....GIVE ME STRENGTH.

Christian The Lion - A Pet's Love Is Forever!

Thanks to Tim for sending this - it makes you go aaaaaah. Mind you I did think at one point that the Lion was going to eat him :)

But seriously for a moment.....

...You're not ever going to reply to any guy who calls himself 'Poleman" are you?   ha ha ha

My Inbox is full

I'm laughing as I read that title back!!! It sounds like a line from a 'Carry-On" film. I've just got up to find that there are another 80 plus emails from the dating website. I can't possibly spend another day looking at random men from all over the country and beyond.... who want to date somebody. When you read their profile it tells you how many messages they have sent to women, and how many 'winks'. Some of these guys are into hundreds and thousands!!! I think they cast their net far and wide!! I don't really want to be one of a hundred choices - and certainly not one of over a thousand. I'd like to be 'the one'. Clearly if a date doesn't work out - they just tick you off the list and move onto number 964. Charming!!!!

Somebody said to me a few days ago that there isn't just one person for each of us. If you think about the population of the UK - some 60 million...take away those that are too young, married, or in a relationship, and then those that are too old, and there will be about two and half million that would be right for me!!! Looks like a lot of those live on this website :)

You're up late

Well - I'm still reading e mails from the dating website. 147 at the last count. That's an awful lot of frogs :) I don't actually want to date anybody - but the compliments I'm getting are lovely!!!

In tribute to Frank McGarahan

These lyrics are from a wonderful song by Anastacia. I have put them on here tonight in tribute to Frank McGarahan - the Banker who was murdered this weekend - he sustained fatal injuries after trying to protect a homeless man and his partner who were being bullied by some young men - who then turned on Frank and savagely beat him to death. Frank was the best friend of Jo's boss, and they had been friends since childhood. He was a good kind family man, and he leaves behind a wife and two small children and friends too numerous to count. I never met him - but had heard a lot about him and had been on the receiving end of his generosity as he was a partner in the box at Wembley - and donated his tickets to us on the night we went to watch England play. A victim of a random senseless wicked act of ridiculous drunken violence. He died a hero - doing absolutely the right thing to protect a vulnerable man. 

 

Somebody told me
you were not coming home
the words are spinnin' in time
and the air suddenly went cold

the sun is still shining
but everything feels like rain, oh
and if I had one wish
it would be to see you again

nothing's fair
when we lose
without a moment to say goodbye

how come the world won't stop spinning
now that you're gone -now that you're gone
I know every end has beginnings
but this one's all wrong -this one's all wrong
so wrong, so wrong

caught in the middle
wrong place, wrong time
and I'm hopelessly missing you
and I can't stop deny

nothing's fair anymore
and I know there's a better place
and I'll never stop dreaming of you

See What I mean?

This is an e mail that I have just received. Now - forgive me - but I just cracked up when I read it. Names have been changed to protect the stupid.My question is - if this guy has had so many e mails - why on earth is he still single? I Particularly liked the bit about being well-groomed and particular in regard to hygiene - I should think so too!! And my question is - he has mellowed since what exactly?

I am well groomed and very particular in regard to cleanliness and hygiene. I am a VIRGO and have mellowed since.
I have lots of friends, both men and women and they will tell you that I am a likeable and not a bad looking person.
I am sociable, polite and have a great respect for women.My kind of music are old favourites: In the Mood, Begin the Beguine, Moonlight Serenade, Smoke gets in your Eyes, Stardust ....by Glenn Miller. 
Other favourites of mine are Band Leaders such as: Percy Faith, Low Praeger, Mantovani just to name a few.

My other interest: Reading Newspapers, Financial Review and Magazines. 
I only watch on TV: News, Current Affairs and Real Good Movies.

I am also interest in: Politics, Religion, Finance, History and Geography.

I am coming back to this site after being a member for the past 3 years and during that time I received more than 1,000 mails from many countries. I prefer to receive email messages where I am able to contact the sender or able to chat rather than receiving mail in my letter box but unable to reply.

When I read this the giggles just start up in the back of my throat and I end up helplessly in fits :)

The trouble with dating websites.....

I've just been reading a number of profiles of guys on THAT website. First of all - more than half of them have no photo - does that make me shallow that I would want to see a picture of somebody before I would be prepared to engage in any communication with them? I'm not sure to be honest - but I would be more comfortable knowing what somebody looks like (even slightly) before embarking on even a brief chat. I mean, if you meet somebody whilst you're out and about - you can clearly see what they look like - can't you?

Many many years ago I joined a dating agency and ended up on a blind date with a guy who only had one eye - that was something I thought he could have mentioned...gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Blind Date'. 

Some of these men are very forthright and making no bones about exactly what they want - run for the hills girls!!! and there are others who are saying (in their descriptions) that they have had their hearts broken and don't want to be messed about - step away from the damaged goods! It's all a bit disturbing if you ask me. Some of them are clearly quite angry about what has happened to them previously - which is quite sad really....pity the poor woman who has to try and fix all that stuff.

I think I prefer meeting people in a conventional traditional way rather than via the internet - and these things are far better left to chance - after all the Universe brings up what we need at the time we need it - so If I'm meant to be a in a relationship with Roger , 54, from Hounslow, non-smoker - with own house, own teeth, not much hair, slightly overweight, GSOH, 2 grown up children, likes movies, theatre, fine wines and dining out, swinging from the rafters wearing women's pants and matching S10 respirator- (and would he be the one to beat me on my bottom with the "Women's Weekly" while bending me backwards over the hostess trolley?- Thankyou Victoria Wood)  then surely the universe will deliver him to me on a plate ? yes????

The Miniature Earth (with music by John Lennon)

Watching this video made me extremely grateful for all that I have. Sometimes we wish for more - but should we ? Really? It certainly makes you think. Thanks to Tim Setterfield for showing it to me :)

With friends like these...

...A kind and well meaning friend has today signed me up (and paid for) for a 3-month subscription to a dating website (without asking me or telling me - I hasten to add). I came home from the shops to find over 40 notification e mails that menfolk countrywide wanted to e mail me, on-line chat with me or just 'flirt' with me. That number has now risen to over 70+. It's rather too many e mails to trawl through and far far too many profiles to read. I have looked at about 6 - and turned away in horror.  All afternoon while I've been doing other stuff on the internet I have had pop-ups pinging telling me that somebody wants to 'chat' with me. It's awful - please, please make it stop. There are many, many desperate middle aged men out there - and some younger ones too - I've had messages from guys in their early twenties - please tell me what that's about? Freaky :)

Appetite issues

At the moment - I am just not very inspired to eat. (Mind you - anybody that saw me at Christian's Mum's house on Sunday may just disagree with that sentence :) I usually love my food and because I do quite a bit of exercise - usually can eat what I like without a problem. Sometimes people are quite astonished by just how much food I can polish off in one sitting!

I've just been food shopping at M&S and simply couldn't find my fodder mojo. I simply couldn't find anything that I fancied. I ended up buying 6 fresh yorkshire puddings - and some fresh gravy - I've just tried to eat them and ended up throwing more than half of it away. I am losing weight - which is not really a good thing - because I wasn't very big to start with - and all girls know that when you lose weight - it's the boobs that go first - a very long time before anything leaves your hips! Wouldn't it be great if it was the other way around? My Appetite is my barometer - and when all is well in Tracy's World I eat like a horse. At the moment I am eating a bit like a sparrow. I didn't even take my trolley to the desserts section - that in itself is quite bizarre. So - I've just eaten - thrown most it away - and still feel hungry - but am not inspired to eat anything else. Fingers crossed that my appetite comes back soon or I will turn to 'dust'.

I Phone Tech Support

I have an i-phone - which I quite like - although the letter buttons for texting / e mailing are a bit small. It has really come in handy because I no longer have my company Crackberry - which was configured so that I could get my personal home e -mail whilst "On the move". When I got my i-phone - I plugged it into my Mac and it just worked - all my e mails from my Bt account and my Mac account just appeared as if by magic!! Then - it stopped receiving e mails. I called their tech support line - which is a free 0800 call - and a very helpful girl got it working again in two button presses. Apparently - the carrier sometimes freezes and blocks - this happens more if you're in a weak signal area - which we are. I didn't make a note of what to do in case it happened again.

The same thing has happened again today - so I called again - once more they told me how to fix it - but if it goes again - and this time I made a note of what to do - I just have to call them up (by the way - they answer the phone immediately - no waiting around on hold getting bored of Mantovani) and they will replace the phone free of charge. That's a marked difference to the stresses of trying to get my land line working again with BT the other week.

Mac - great products - great tech support - great service. Love them :)

Boredom

Well - today I'm a bit bored to be honest. There's a few things that I could be doing - but quite frankly I can't be a**ed. I'm still sitting here in my dressing gown - and look at the time. I've just arranged lunch with Lisa and Emma tomorrow - going out Thursday night with Su, and then meeting another ex-squaddie for coffee and cake on Saturday - but apart from that - no plans. I really need to get my act together and work out a plan - maybe look for a job - that's when I decide what it is that I want to do next. I'm not sure that I like this Limbo place - but I think I'll just sit here for a while waiting for inspiration and the next opportunity to come along. Ho hum x