I've just been talking to Russell on the 'phone (big brother) and how we have laughed about recent developments in our family. We do laugh an awful lot when we chat - he's very funny and I love him - lots!!
I told him about my horrible journey yesterday and how the lack of toilet and refreshment facilities are such a problem for a woman of my age when stuck in traffic!!!
He suggested I get a "Shewee" - (which is NEVER going to happen) so I decided to research the said article on the WWW (women's wee wonders). This product allows women to ...and I quote....."Urinate when standing, camping, walking, skiing, climbing, travelling and excellent for use in unhygenic public toilets...."
Well - I'm sorry - but that's why Mother Nature gave me an expanding bladder. There is no way on God's earth that I could envisage myself attempting to use one of these devices at any time - ever. I have been known to do a 'countryside wee' and as regular readers will recall suffered a bad bout of nettle rash as a result (ouch - how that stung) - I have pee'd in fields, hedgerows, stables, trailers and horse lorries (shavings are extremely absorbent). But I couldn't use one of these things. First of all I wear trousers or jeans most of the time - so please explain how - when stuck in traffic - with Dennis the lorry driver looking down into my drivers seat from the cab of his articulated lorry - I am going to remove my trousers, knickers, have a pee, empty the device and get dressed again - all the while maintaining my dignity? Dennis would be out of his cab faster than you can say 'Dennis - get out of your cab".
When you look at the device on the picture above it doesn't look to me like it would hold much volume - does it? So what happens when it is full and it starts to overflow? OH NO!!! Then there is the problem of storage...imagine - you're in your car stuck on the M40 and you need a pee. Where do you empty it? Open the door and just chuck it onto the carriageway? Charming! Or, use an empty coke / water bottle that you happen to have knocking around in the map pocket of your car? You see - the problems that one of these things creates are horrific. I have been stuck in traffic many many times over the years and have never once wee'd myself - so I just don't feel that a device to prevent this happening is necessary.
Can you just imagine going hill walking with a group of other like minded middle aged people and then saying "Just a minute folks, I need a wee-wee" and then whipping out a 'she-wee' and using it in front of everybody!!! Of course not - you would have to go behind a tree to maintain any semblance of dignity - and that then negates the use for the device altogether - we can all do pee-squats behind a tree!!! You see - the device is pointless.
They come in three different colours - as if colour co-ordination is important !!! Phone a friend to see what they're going to be wearing for a day out and casually mention which colour 'she-wee' are you bringing also - I would hate for us to clash!!! They are available in clear, blue and pink.
So - there will be no 'she-wee' on my Christmas present list this year but I have a feeling that for £3.99 I may just get one as a stocking filler from our Russell - and woe betide him if I do!!! Oh yes - for and extra £1.40 you can order an extension pipe!!! Ha ha ha xx