She-wee

I've just been talking to Russell on the 'phone (big brother) and how we have laughed about recent developments in our family. We do laugh an awful lot when we chat - he's very funny and I love him - lots!!

I told him about my horrible journey yesterday and how the lack of toilet and refreshment facilities are such a problem for a woman of my age when stuck in traffic!!!

He suggested I get a "Shewee" - (which is NEVER going to happen) so I decided to research the said article on the WWW (women's wee wonders). This product allows women to ...and I quote....."Urinate when standing, camping, walking, skiing, climbing, travelling and excellent for use in unhygenic public toilets...."

Well - I'm sorry - but that's why Mother Nature gave me an expanding bladder. There is no way on God's earth that I could envisage myself attempting to use one of these devices at any time - ever. I have been known to do a 'countryside wee' and as regular readers will recall suffered a bad bout of nettle rash as a result (ouch - how that stung) - I have pee'd in fields, hedgerows, stables, trailers and horse lorries (shavings are extremely absorbent). But I couldn't use one of these things. First of all I wear trousers or jeans most of the time - so please explain how - when stuck in traffic - with Dennis the lorry driver looking down into my drivers seat from the cab of his articulated lorry - I am going to remove my trousers, knickers, have a pee, empty the device and get dressed again - all the while maintaining my dignity? Dennis would be out of his cab faster than you can say 'Dennis - get out of your cab".

When you look at the device on the picture above it doesn't look to me like it would hold much volume - does it? So what happens when it is full and it starts to overflow? OH NO!!! Then there is the problem of storage...imagine - you're in your car stuck on the M40 and you need a pee. Where do you empty it? Open the door and just chuck it onto the carriageway? Charming! Or, use an empty coke / water bottle that you happen to have knocking around in the map pocket of your car? You see - the problems that one of these things creates are horrific. I have been stuck in traffic many many times over the years and have never once wee'd myself - so I just don't feel that a device to prevent this happening is necessary. 

Can you just imagine going hill walking with a group of other like minded middle aged people and then saying "Just a minute folks, I need a wee-wee" and then whipping out a 'she-wee' and using it in front of everybody!!! Of course not - you would have to go behind a tree to maintain any semblance of dignity - and that then negates the use for the device altogether - we can all do pee-squats behind a tree!!! You see - the device is pointless.

They come in three different colours - as if colour co-ordination is important !!!  Phone a friend to see what they're going to be wearing for a day out and casually mention which colour 'she-wee' are you bringing also - I would hate for us to clash!!! They are available in clear, blue and pink.

So - there will be no 'she-wee' on my Christmas present list this year but I have a feeling that for £3.99 I may just get one as a stocking filler from our Russell - and woe betide him if I do!!! Oh yes - for and extra £1.40 you can order an extension pipe!!! Ha ha ha xx