Tuesday 14 October 2008

I think we're finally getting a few things right

After three or four months of feeling that I'm getting everything wrong...which let's face it - is not a good way to feel - self blame and self abuse (not in THAT way) are not emotionally healthy things to carry around - today I finally feel that we are making progress. I have received validation this morning from somebody whose opinion I trust that I am taking steps in the right direction and we are making progress. 

Learning about yourself is a bit like learning to drive a car ...for many lessons you simply feel like you're not getting anywhere and wonder what the point is, and if you're ever going to get it - and then one day - as if by magic - it all comes together and you can drive!!! I'm not saying that we could now pass a driving test - and I also know that on any learning journey - we take three steps forward and sometimes four steps back - but for the very first time since I embarked upon this journey it feels like we are going in the right direction, at about the right speed, and I can see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Being unravelled is not a nice feeling - but it is necessary to gain the insight needed to put yourself back together. When I began this journey I was told that I would question every last little thing that I always believed to be true and more importantly - I would doubt and question my own judgement about everything. That was quite scarey!

But - in the end I would be able to rely upon my own judgement like never before. This weekend I trusted my own inner voice and my personal standards and took some required action - which it turns out - was exactly the right thing to do. So it would seem that my inner voice is back talking the right talk. I'm so pleased:)

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