Sunday, 16 May 2010
Dear Cathy and Claire
I now have a different problem, and I need your help. Earlier today I went to Matalan. This visit was precipitated by my impending house move. I have a need for housewares. Because I have moved home twice in eighteen months, I have mislaid quite a few bits and pieces. Nothing of any great importance - but stuff like coffee mugs, everyday crockery, and saucepans, spatulas, wooden spoons, breadbins, kitchen waste bin, tea towels and so on. This, in itself is not a problem. The problem is that I actually enjoyed browsing. IN A HOMEWARES SHOP. At one point I felt giddy and had a big smile on my face. I had to take a deep breath and step outside.
Next I went into Curry's to compare and contrast various models of Dyson vacuum cleaner. This was even more serious because whilst inspecting the tools and attachments I found myself experiencing a 'damp pants' moment. I also had flushed cheeks (on my face).
I decided to leave the retail park without purchasing anything...but not before making a 'list' in my flowery notebook that resides in my handbag. I appreciate the seriousness of what occurred and am writing to ask what you think I should do next. If I don't take action I feel sure that soon enough I will find myself pushing a trolley around Aldi - and if that happens - well I don't think I could carry on.
Please reply to my letter as soon as you can - I am in dire need of advice. It's urgent. I can already feel the stirrings of desire when I secretly whisper the forbidden word 'Ikea'.
at May 16, 2010
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