Saturday, 1 November 2008

Halloween Report

Well - here I am - very tired after a fab night out on my broomstick which culminated in a rather super do down at Highgate Cemetery - everyone was there - seriously - Warlocks, Wizards and Witches a plenty - mind you I have to comment on the outfit that Wicked Wendy of Westminster was wearing - I know she's from the city - but please - Prada seconds? Honestly - what was she thinking? Hermoine and Harry were there too - and still seem happy together - bless.

Bumpy Boris of Banbury (Babbling and bewitching a speciality) had made the effort to turn up and spent the whole evening chasing after and mooning at Wanton Wanda of Weybridge,  (Apparently his main claim to fame is that he has eaten dinner in the Great Hall at Hogwarts!!) - but she soon put him straight - apparently he wasn't wearing the correct underwear - and we all know Wanda of Weybridge - she likes her wizards and warlocks chained up and ready for action in nothing but the very best from La Senza. She's such a wanton harlot. (Remember that time a few years ago when she abandoned poor old Pointy Hat Peter from Pulborough chained to Tower Bridge in nothing but some pink split crotch panties from Rigby & Peller - honestly the shame - the poor guy never recovered - apparently he now works as a shelf stacker in a potions cash and carry warehouse near Leeds somewhere and only ever utters the odd mumble - and as for the River Police - well the photographs are still pinned on the main notice board at Scotland Yard)!!! 

Supper was lovely - we had eye of newt, frogs spawn soup with creme fraiche, pumpkin bread, and a rather lovely pate made with gizzard of lizard - and then some lovely kebabs of indeterminate meat - although the whisper was that it was the thigh meat of one Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand (I would have thought that RB would have had a better use for his deliciously lithe thighs than to sell them for Wizardly consumption - but I understand he's a bit skint right now - so maybe it's a case of needs must).

We danced until dawn and the party culminated with a rather splendid group effort of the age old classic - Jackson's Thriller - which I have to say was the best fun ever. The dead really made their mark this year. 

Got a bit pissed off on the way to be honest at all the human offspring clogging the street in their rubbish outfits - pretending to be like us - honestly - they do it every year and it's so predictable. Kidnapped a couple of chubby cherubs from Islington on the way and sold them to the child-catcher for fifteen guineas and a brace of mice for the cat. Their parents will be stunned when they return later today with pink rimmed eyes and a new habit of twitching and going off into a trance like state every time Buffy comes on the TV. But hey-ho - can't be helped.

Much love to you all - until next year .................

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