Young Ladies......

This is a note to the young ladies that I know. There you sit in your late teens or early twenties not knowing what you have at your disposal. You have a fully functional body which works very well. It may not be exactly the shape or size that you would like - but believe me - if you were to compare it to a body belonging to somebody in their mid forties you would not swap it:) Your body probably does all that you ask of it with little or no complaint. Think yourselves lucky.

Your skin is smooth (it may be a bit spotty - but later on you will be thankful for the extra grease that your skin produces). You will not have a road map of southern europe etched upon your face - neither will you have creases around your lips that resemble the top opening of a volcano - your lipstick - should you wear it - will not traverse northwards via these lines. 

Your eyes are clear - the whites will still be white - not for you the little red spider veins that run all over my eyeballs. Your eyes will still be working perfectly well - and you do not (yet) have to hunt all over the house for spectacles before you can read the newspaper - come to think of it you probably don't read the newspaper.

Your feet and hands will be be smooth - your digits straight and pain free - no enlarged knuckle joints or bent bits? It will make no difference to your hands and feet if the weather is warm or cold. Should you be learning to play the piano your fingers will reach through an octave effortlessly (I hate you).

Girls - your boobs will be pert and perky. You can go bra-less (if brave enough) and just look cute and sexy - not ridiculous and mentally retarded like I do if I go bra-less these days!

Your hips and bum will be smooth and svelte. Make the most of them - because in twenty years they will be beginning to look like elephant's legs....I kid you not.

At the present time you can venture into changing rooms, strip to your underwear and not feel suicidal. Enjoy it while it lasts. It's only a matter of time. Come to think of it you can probably still wear lycra without getting an ASBO. I can't.

Your hair will be thick and glossy - and you won't have any of it growing on your top lip. That will change. 

I say to the young ladies of today - You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Look in the mirror and celebrate your youth. Go out and create havoc with your beauty. Later on when you want to go and create havoc - your beauty will have left you and all you will create is a few sniggers and an awful lot of pity............