Tuesday 14 April 2009


I can only assume that women in Banbury aren't hairy. There are no waxing salons here. Well - that's not strictly true - there are - but they don't do everywhere. You can get your legs waxed - and even your underarms - but ask about anywhere a bit closer to your panty line and the telephone goes quiet - there is whispering on the other end of the 'phone and then the line goes dead. It makes you feel like you're asking Hilary Briss for some dodgy meat from under the counter (League of Gentleman). The nearest place for doing 'down there' involves a 90 minute round trip to somewhere south of Oxford. I can only assume that the  gentlemen of Banbury are fond of the 'German' look. You can however have your eyebrows threaded in the local shopping centre - while you wait indeed. My eyebrows are fine and it was other parts of me that required depilating. When I lived in Weybridge - a quick trip down the A3 and it was done and dusted (literally) in half an hour. Bit of hot wax - nice chat -application of soothing cream - dusting down with talcum - and Bob's your Uncle for another fortnight. It was always a tad uncomfortable - actually that's a lie - it hurts like hell - gentlemen please note what we ladies go through in an attempt to render ourselves more attractive for you - Back, sack and crack anyone?

Not wanting to go on another expedition - but neither desiring to remain hairy - after all - neat is best - today in Tesco I purchased the item photographed here. If you look closely you can see that it has a light - which I suppose is the modern day equivalent of a miner's helmet lamp !!! (oo'er Missus)! Please note that it is made by Braun - as all beauty products should be - not Bosch or Black and Decker (see earlier Ironing post).

It works by tweezering the hair out by the root - but it has a multitude of rotating tweezers and therefore is very quick. It is not - however (and let's face it was never going to be)  - painless. When I got back from Tesco I was very keen to give it a try - and so popped upstairs (would have done it downstairs but there are children playing in the playing field opposite the house and I wouldn't want to give them nightmares) armed with new gadget and a rotating mirror (if you need to ask then you shouldn't be reading this)  and had a go! When you are being waxed someone else is doing it and therefore cannot feel your pain - so they just get on with it - for the most part ignoring the screams, and wimpering. Also they have usually only allocated 15 minutes of salon time to 'do' you - so if they were to stop every time you uttered sounds of discomfort they would be at it all day!

However when you are in charge of the pain yourself you tend to have a few breaks! My breaks involved a large gulp of gin. (You don't say). 

Anyway - apart from a bit of redness there are no ill after effects and all areas are now as smooth as.

So that's saved me a fortnightly bill of £35 and the time required for the round trip. All in all I am very pleased :)

Hirsute? No hirsute birds round here love.

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