Thursday, 23 April 2009

Motivational words

Being a very good and highly trained Domestic Goddess I accidentally burned the ironing board cover. It could have been worse - I could have burned a Posselq shirt!!!! Anyway Posselq ordered me a new one off t'internet and yesterday it arrived. I unpacked it and have this morning - after a little fight, which I won - managed to fit it to the ironing board. My - how things have changed. My new ironing board cover is a lovely shade of light blue - it has elasticated edges for a snug fit - but more - much more than this...it is printed with words. Not just any old words - Oh NO - my ironing board cover is printed with MOTIVATIONAL PHRASES !! I can hardly believe it - I am so lucky!!!! Amongst the things printed thereon are....."Remember the breeze", "Feel the sunshine" and the best one yet....."Happy times are here to stay". I am sure that Posselq didn't order this particular ironing board cover on purpose - because he knows that if he did I would kill him - slowly and and in a very painful manner.

To say I am gob-smacked would be an understatement. No wonder so many housewives are on bloody Prozac.

I would personally like to meet the designer of this ironing board cover and smack him (very very very hard)  in the nose with the ironing board. (I say 'him' because you absolutely know it was a man) (and I bet he's divorced!) What kind of twisted warped mind would think of putting such drivel on a BLOODY IRONING BOARD COVER - were they on crack cocaine? Is it some kind of cruel joke? Were they deranged and bitter because their wife had recently left them for an ironing board salesman from Rhyl? What is going on here? Is it a conspiracy?  Did somebody (no doubt a holder of a "Marketing Degree") think that this kind of thing would actually make a difference and actually cheer up hordes of pre, post and mid-menopausal women.....I mean - come on.

If I designed ironing board covers they would have nude full length pictures of George Clooney or Ashton Kutcher on them....or - if it had to be words - it would be every swear word and profanity known to man!

For crying out LOUD!!!

4 comments:

  1. You can get covers with a pic of a fit man on wearing black shorts & the heat of the iron makes the shorts disappear (how very tasteful)- I think you're supposed to hump your ironing board or something. Maybe I'm a prude but I tend not to mix sex & ironing, they're not really the same ball park. A man will have designed that too as 'something for the ladies'!

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  2. You can get covers with a pic of a fit man on wearing black shorts & the heat of the iron makes the shorts disappear (how very tasteful)- I think you're supposed to hump your ironing board or something. Maybe I'm a prude but I tend not to mix sex & ironing, they're not really the same ball park. A man will have designed that too as 'something for the ladies'!

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  3. Oh Victoria - you're so funny - am creased reading this!!! Begs the question - which household chores do you mix sex with - only so I can try it with Posselq - you never know!!!! Cleaning the bath perhaps? or the oven? or vacuum cleaning? Do tell!!

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  4. Oh Victoria - you're so funny - am creased reading this!!! Begs the question - which household chores do you mix sex with - only so I can try it with Posselq - you never know!!!! Cleaning the bath perhaps? or the oven? or vacuum cleaning? Do tell!!

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