Thursday 29 July 2010

Dear Terry from Rotherham......

Thank you for your e mail via the dating website. It was very nice to hear from you. Thanks also for you kind comment where you mentioned that you preferred my hair blonde to dark brown and asked if I would consider going back to blonde as you preferred it...and then you may consider taking me out on a date......

First of all I must mention that I prefer George Clooney to a funny little balding 50 year old from Rotherham - who resembles a mating disaster between Shrek and Imedla Marcos. Secondly I would rather like to be wittily engaged in enchanting conversation and repartee with someone who a) can spell...b) has a reasonable knowledge of English Grammar and c) doesn't list Football as their main hobby.

I would also like my male friends to be at least 3 inches taller than me - so at 5'4" tall - you don't quite cut it.

I would also like Rotherham to be replaced by Bali - so when I'm having a bad day I can just nip up the Parkway for an afternoon of sun, beach and cocktails (although not with you).

I would also liked to be wined and dined in style - so I think I'll pass on your offer of a fish supper with barm cake, and a bottle of Mackeson - if it's all the same to you.

You mentioned that you like to watch war films for entertainment. Black and White war films no less. How utterly fascinating. For my entertainment I prefer having my finger nails extracted by butch lesbians from Wath-Upon-Dearne.

So - to finish - thanks once again for your interest and your kind comments - but on this occasion I won't be taking our blossoming friendship any further. 

Kind regards and best wishes in your search for a companion,

Tracy x

PS - Your Rottweiler is better looking than you - but that's purely a subjective opinion XX

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