Note : having sex directly after eating a giant burrito is always a mistake. Please try to remember this.
Please go write yourself. We've tried this before. I loved the infatuation, the intrigue, the exciting getting-to-know-everything-about-each-other phase. I know you now and I'm bored with you. We know the end is coming. Once you're done and defended I am going out for drinks and never want to see you again.
Sincerely, Honours Student
Dear Energy Saving Co-worker who religiously turns out the light when leaving the restroom,
You might be over doing it.
Sincerely, I am still in here
Dear Mum and Dad
I am glad you still love each other after 33 years of marriage - but please close the door when you want to have noisy sex.
Sincerely, disgusted daughter
Dear New I Phone
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words. You piece of shut. Can't.
Sincerely, Every I-phone user