Anyway - Got new loo seat from Homebase yesterday and this morning went to fit it. Sadly the fittings for the old one had corroded quite badly (you don't say?). I had my adjustable spanners and my pliers and went to work. I had to work from underneath the toilet seat - so there I am on my back, on the floor...looking upwards...trying to unscrew the badly corroded (rather whiffy) fittings. The gap at the side of the toilet is quite small -I got one arm in, got the other arm in, squeezed my shoulders in - and then got properly stuck. And I mean properly stuck. For about ten minutes.
I was thinking..."I am 46 years old, have never had dinner (let alone sex) with George Clooney and I'm going to die of starvation wedged behind a toilet somewhere in Sheffield". That's not really a great thought to have.
Anyway - eventually I got free, and after another ten minutes and a liberal squirt of WD40 (should have used that in the beginning) I eventually managed to remove the offending stinky horrid skanky loo seat...fit the new one (has only ever had my lovely bottom sat upon it) and have a recovery cup of coffee and fag.
I think next time I'll get a little man in x