Monday 7 June 2010

Do It Myself

Yesterday I purchased a new toilet seat. I can't explain why - apart from the fact that it was extremely necessary. I can't quite fathom how somebody can use a toilet for over two years and NEVER clean under the seat...yuch...yuch...yuch...yuch.

Anyway - Got new loo seat from Homebase yesterday and this morning went to fit it. Sadly the fittings for the old one had corroded quite badly (you don't say?). I had my adjustable spanners and my pliers and went to work. I had to work  from underneath the toilet seat - so there I am on my back, on the floor...looking upwards...trying to unscrew the badly corroded (rather whiffy) fittings. The gap at the side of the toilet is quite small -I got one arm in, got the other arm in, squeezed my shoulders in - and then got properly stuck. And I mean properly stuck. For about ten minutes. 

I was thinking..."I am 46 years old, have never had dinner (let alone sex) with George Clooney and I'm going to die of starvation wedged behind a toilet somewhere in Sheffield". That's not really a great thought to have. 

Anyway - eventually I got free, and after another ten minutes and a liberal squirt of WD40 (should have used that in the beginning) I eventually managed to remove the offending stinky horrid skanky loo the new one (has only ever had my lovely bottom sat upon it) and have a recovery cup of coffee and fag.

I think next time I'll get a little man in x

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