Where are you George Clooney?

The dating thing has gone a bit crap of late. I've been seeing chaps now for about six months...give or take...and it's just not working for me. I am a strong believer in   "if at first you don't succeed" but even that mantra has failed me. I get enough interest on the 'dreaded dating website'...but then when they call me on the 'phone they're just so boring and dull that I could scream. Last week I just put the phone down on somebody ...right in the middle of him chatting away about his son's latest football triumph (I AM NOT INTERESTED)...it was quite rude of me - but I was bored to tears. 

I haven't fancied anybody - cannot imagine swinging from a chandelier or dressing up as 'Little Miss Muffet" - for anybody that I have met - not even after a bottle or two of Bollinger. It's just not happening. My Mojo has gone into hibernation and no amount of prodding or poking is waking it up!

I would like a man who can make me laugh...a man who can indulge me...a man who can talk about 'stuff'...a man with nice teeth...a man with manners...a man with a soul...a man without a rabid ex-wife or delinquent children...a man with a half-decent dress sense...a man who doesn't deal with his penis envy issues by driving about in a souped-up turbo fuckwit motor...a man who likes poetry, literature, romance.

Actually - I would just like George Clooney....