Last seen in Oxfordshire on 6th January feeding chickens. Woman, aged 46, (looks younger) answers to name of Princess Shiny Diamond, or Wanda. Short (5'2") slim build, blonde hair. Happy, funny, cheerful, kind, loving and sunny natured (most of the time). Often seen with small naughty white dog. A bit nutty, but all there on the inside. If you see her you'll recognise her because she'll be making some noise of one kind or another. May be confused and disorientated - approach with caution. Likes food and wine, (and gin) friends, family, flowers, poetry, words, animals, chatting about the meaning of life, and old black and white movies. Has been known to play the piano (badly) and sing (even more badly). Good at ironing, cleaning...and listening, and being kind and understanding. Reasonably good at cooking. Often seen with telephone handset stuck to side of face. May be driving big black truck and eating Yorkie bars. She may possibly be spotted exhibiting trolley rage tantrums in Tesco, or alternatively doing very poor impressions of Douglas Bader at the local gymnasium. Could be in the vicinity of water wearing some kind of strange waterproof clothing and breathing apparatus.
If you see her, can you tell her I'm waiting for her to come home?