Richard Clayderman - PAH!

I have just been doing some Piano playing. Yesterday I had my lesson with Martin (Posselq calls him 'Martian' - which is funny - but not very apt as he's quite earthly really!). Anyway - we're making lots of progress. I love playing the Piano and it's something I have always wanted to do - and I have to tell you that I am quite diligent about my practice. I do at least two hours every day - not all at once - but half an hour here, then another twenty minutes there and so on and so forth. Anyway - by now I can do a very good rendition (with chords and everything) of quite a few tunes. (My favourite is "Can you feel the Love tonight?" from 'The Lion King")

My 'instrument' is an electric Piano - but it's a very good one and it feels like a piano - not some plasticky thing with badly weighted keys. It does lots of tricks but the instruction manual is complicated - very thick with lots of small writing! Yesterday I called into the Piano shop and asked the very nice young man to show me a few things that it can do - he did - I wrote it down in a notebook - came home - tried it out - it worked - result - a very happy camper.

This morning I have just gone and tried it again and I can't get anything to work!!!! Doh Doh Doh. So for the time being - it's back to just sounding like a Piano - and I'm getting no help with the automated left hand system!!!! (and that's not good!)

Random

This is hilarious. The latest take on the MP expenses scandal. It's still early and I am guffawing my head off. So much so - in fact - that it's just rolled onto the floor and under the table. A tad more entertaining than the bloody rubbish football match that I watched last night. ....and is it me or does Wayne Rooney look like Shrek to anybody else? Can't imagine why Coleen married him - or perhaps it's got something to do with the huge amounts of cash he earns for not being a very good footballer. I'm sure she wouldn't have been that bothered if he'd worked in a 'Cash and Carry' just outside Heckmondwike.

While we're on the subject (what subject would that be oh Random one?) the bloody MP's and their spending habits have kind of got my goat. Cheeky f***ers is what I say. I cannot fathom how they've got away with it for so long. Doesn't anybody check? They should have an expenses office where loads of bitter twisted badly done to narky little clerks sit with a red pen and dismiss and / or diminish all expenses claims. That's how it's always been in any company I've worked for. Usually some fat bird called Carol (with a hairy top lip) in the payroll department calls you on the 'phone and asks you to 'pop in' and discuss this month's fictitious claim with her. She's been busy on the AA website and has discovered that it's actually 79.4 miles from Bradford to Nottingham - so WHY HAVE YOU CLAIMED FOR 79.6???????? That's theft - that is.

The Government need some Carols.

1661

My friend Nicola 'phoned this evening. Always good to have a natter. She was telling me about a 1661 incident which recently happened to her. What the flippin' 'eck is a 1661 incident?

Well, it's when you're walking down the street - and you look great from behind. A passing motor car (usually full of youffs - and probably an souped-up pseudo sports jobby) pips its hooter. Clearly the driver thinks that you're 16. 

It's only when they have driven past you - they turn around to cop a better look and sadly realise that you're closer to 61.

That's a 1661 moment.

Welcome to the world of the middle aged woman :)

(actually - it's never happened to me - although I did get the thumbs up from some young men last year whilst driving around a roundabout...the fact that I was wearing huge sunglasses and therefore they couldn't see my wrinkles probably had a lot to do with it...)

Pizza

Today I've been shopping on t'internet. What for this time? Well - a Pizza Peel actually. What the heck is one of those? It's the big metal shovel on a long wooden handle that you use to get Pizzas out from inside the very hot Pizza oven. (Don't know about you - but I'm not sticking my head or hands in there!)

Posselq has purchased a big Pizza oven for the garden which doubles as a wood burning stove when the cooking is done and the Pizza has been eaten. He's clearly expecting some warm evenings during the coming few months. It's quite nice and shiny and new - and yet another addition to the long list of catering gadgets that we have! Posselq has a bit of a 'thing' for kitchen gadgets. If you can think of anything that does anything kitchen related - you can be sure that there is one in this kitchen. Until a few weeks ago there were two ice cream makers - that was until he gave one away to Dan......we even have an automatic stirrer...it's battery operated (oo...eeer) and you pop it in your sauce and it stirs it with no hands - has to be seen to be believed!!!

Anyway - the kids are here this weekend so I can feel a 'Pizza making session' coming on - and no doubt a hell of a lot of clearing up afterwards. Note to self....make sure phone number for Domino is handy!

Where've you been?

I've had a few e mails and messages on Facebook asking where I've been for the last week or so seeing as I haven't written anything on here!!! It's lovely to know that I've been missed.

Well I popped over to Spain for a few days (Wednesday until Sunday) and Posselq flew out to join me on Friday morning. 

Dan and Jan were there too and all the extended family - too many to count - but approximately fourteen of us - a few too many to count accurately!

The weather was lovely - I got the beginnings of a tan - but then I had to come home - my forehead is peeling  and I now have a serious case of what looks like dandruff - but it's not - honestly (there'll be no 'Head & Shoulders' used around here).

I had a lovely time and was sad to leave. Hopefully next time we go we can stay a tad longer!

Busy Busy Busy

Been a bit quiet of late. Busy you see. Lots of Piano practice, and Posselq's kids were here this weekend....just now am busy packing to fly off to Spain...."I'm leaving on a jet plane....." - sadly I DO know when I'll be back again - back to the Village on Sunday evening. Just popping over to Cabo Pino for few days with the extended family...it's Dan's Dad's family actually but I'm a kind of honorary member. Posselq is flying out to join me for the weekend on Friday.

No doubt I'll have plenty to say when I get back :)

Advice?

Don't you just hate it when people ask for your advice ? - which you duly give them because you care and you want the best for them - then they completely ignore what you had said (which they are quite entitled to do-by the way) but then have the nerve to ask for your advice again - just so they can ignore what you said a second time. I hope they don't ask me again..........and they'd better not come crying to me when it all goes tits up - which it surely will.

Fame?

My friend who came to visit today went to Badminton Horse Trials last weekend. Apparently she's been spotted on Television no less....she was identifiable because of her pink hat!!!! Fame at last. 

Where's Posselq?

Oh yes - thought I'd better mention Posselq - I've been a bit quiet about him for a week so I didn't want anyone to think I had murdered him and buried him beneath the patio.....No - he's in Germany (probably wearing Llederhosen and a funny green trilby, and doing that funny dance where they slap their own thighs - not averse to a bit of thigh slapping myself but I'd rather be slapping somebody else's... they're a bit weird these germans.....) on business. He's back on Friday. I quite miss him when he's away for a whole week.

Friends old and new

Today has been a great day for friends. My lovely lovely friend from Surrey came to see me today and we went to the pub and had Scampi for lunch...(you can take the girls out of the 'north.)..and we laughed about 'how sophisticated' Scampi used to be when we were girls!!!! In those days a posh meal out was a Berni Inn!

I also heard from a lovely old friend on Facebook - from some twenty odd years ago - last seen in 1991 - this chap used to make me laugh an awful lot - he was from Preston you see - and they're all dead funny up there. 

Then tonight I've been out to the pub (village pub!!) with my new friend who lives next door. She's only lived in the village of Mollington (twinned with Stepford) for a few weeks longer than me - and she doesn't know anyone either - so now we know each other - mind you we did come last in the pub quiz - we were absolutely crap - and I mean crap! But we're going to make a weekly habit of going to the Local Village Pubs around here until we find one that we like...("this is a 'local pub' for 'local people'...we don't want any trouble here")......

Anyway - off to bed now - should sleep well - I've had some gin :)

BANG!!

Oops - something I forgot to mention. When I lit the fire last week to burn my smoking stuff I forgot to remove the fire balloon. The fire balloon is an inflatable clear plastic balloon which lives up the chimney and has a long tube so that you can place it about two feet up and then inflate it (non-return valve included!)  It's designed to stop draughts coming down the chimney and making us all chilly!

If you don't remove it - it gets hot - expands and then pops!!! POsselq is always reminding me about the fire balloon...but being a bit of a tit I forgot!!  Well it expand and burst - but it didn't go 'pop' it went 'BANG' and Millie shot backwards about fifteen feet into the kitchen. It was very shocking - but very funny.

I need to order another one from t'internet.

A few feet away....

I've just had a read at last year's blog entries for the month of May. I was unhappy at work and unhappy at home. Some things cheered me up - like a family trip to Spain and buying a new Camera (I really did need to get out more!) but on the whole it wasn't a good time for me. How interesting then how things can change in just a year.

I'm living in a different place - living with a man who is absolutely lovely (he must be mad to put up with me and all my weird foibles) being taken care of, relaxing and being a domestic goddess, and quite frankly enjoying the perfect life. No worries about anything really. I have my horse, my dog and a wonderful home. 

So - the moral of this little tale is - never give up because you have no idea just what is around the next corner. Happiness could just be waiting for you a few feet away.......... I am a very lucky, happy girl :)

Lucky

I am a very very very lucky girl. Posselq went away this morning (that's not why I'm lucky!) until Friday - and he's asked me to book Cinema tickets for Saturday night - and guess what? - I get to choose the film - that means it will be a girly chick flick (he'll probably fall asleep!). However - when he mentioned it he said it was because he wanted to hold my hand in the pictures....how lovely is that? He's so good to me :)

Jamie Oliver is a "Mockney" Wanker

I've just spent two hours slaving over a hot stove - trying to make Spinach and Ricotta Canelloni from one of Jamie's books. Anyway I'm really cross because it turned out rubbish. It was all watery and crap and everything. Posselq ate it and even went back for seconds - but I think that's because he's scared of me when I cook.

Now - you could say that it's my fault - but when I make something from Delia's books it turns out just fine and dandy. So I blame Jamie. He's a mockney wanker - and I'm putting his book to the back of the cupboard. From now on I'm a Delia girl.

Lance Armstrong? Pah !

Have just got back from a bike ride. Posselq took the time to explain the gearing on my new bike to me over the 'phone so I kind of knew what I was doing. Coming back into the Village I managed to get a good 150 yards further than the "Welcome to Mollington - Twinned with Stepford" sign - which if you remember from yesterday was as far as my little sausage like legs could propel me - however - with the correct gearing I got a bit further!!!! Imagine the hilarity when as I got off my legs simply gave way beneath me and I ended up in a crumpled sweaty heap with new bike on top of me! I almost lost an eye with the brake lever!!! Nobody said this cycling lark was as dangerous and risky as it is.

I want to go back to sofa, fags and gin xx

Chinny Chin Chin

OH MY GOD - have just been on the 'phone with Dan and was absentmindedly looking into the mirror when SUDDENLY I spotted three hairs growing out of my chin. They are only very short - approx half a centimetre - and blonde and fine - but even so - it is a complete "QUELLE HORREUR" moment. I am mortified and distressed and very much in need of alcohol to get over the shock. Just off to find the tweezers........