Random

This is hilarious. The latest take on the MP expenses scandal. It's still early and I am guffawing my head off. So much so - in fact - that it's just rolled onto the floor and under the table. A tad more entertaining than the bloody rubbish football match that I watched last night. ....and is it me or does Wayne Rooney look like Shrek to anybody else? Can't imagine why Coleen married him - or perhaps it's got something to do with the huge amounts of cash he earns for not being a very good footballer. I'm sure she wouldn't have been that bothered if he'd worked in a 'Cash and Carry' just outside Heckmondwike.

While we're on the subject (what subject would that be oh Random one?) the bloody MP's and their spending habits have kind of got my goat. Cheeky f***ers is what I say. I cannot fathom how they've got away with it for so long. Doesn't anybody check? They should have an expenses office where loads of bitter twisted badly done to narky little clerks sit with a red pen and dismiss and / or diminish all expenses claims. That's how it's always been in any company I've worked for. Usually some fat bird called Carol (with a hairy top lip) in the payroll department calls you on the 'phone and asks you to 'pop in' and discuss this month's fictitious claim with her. She's been busy on the AA website and has discovered that it's actually 79.4 miles from Bradford to Nottingham - so WHY HAVE YOU CLAIMED FOR 79.6???????? That's theft - that is.

The Government need some Carols.