Oh My goodness - the nicotine free world of Tracy has gone completely mad. So far today we have had tears - twice - both times from me. Dan has told me to go and buy a packet of fags because she can't stand another minute of it - she even lent me the money - but "NO", "NO" and thrice "NO" I said - I have managed over 36 hours - I'm not giving up now......my mind has been taken over by a kind of wierd madness, as if I'm on some kind of hallucinogenic drug, and I have slightly lost my grip on reality.
I have had my "ride with your mind" riding lesson today also - which bearing in mind the present state of my mind was somewhat over hopeful!!! I did enjoy it immensely and for the first time ever was able to 'plug in' my seatbones and enjoy a deeper seat (what? seat-bones? plug-in? deeper seat?) ..it's all technical riding stuff. I know that you all think that we just sit on the neddies and go - but no, it's actually a lot more precise than that, and there's always loads more stuff to learn. It's all about bio-mechanics and physics......ooooer. You have to visualise and relax and practise a lot of core strength and bearing down!!!!! Bit like giving birth!!!
Anyway - since then we've been supermarket shopping and I managed that without murdering anybody - despite the supermarket being overrun with pensioners and toddlers - I think that's rather commendable considering I haven't had a fag since Thursday night. (mind you I did snarl at some old git in the car-park who looked at me funny because I was having difficulty parking the Range Rover straight. It's a good job he left when he did or I would have run the bastard over - no doubt at all!!!) People tell me that the first few days are the worse, well I have felt rage today akin to when Christian took my door off...and he knows what that means.
Ooooh - I nearly forgot - the running is going well too. Third run this morning at 6.15am. ran for twenty minutes - which sounds pathetic - but I'm following a strict training programme and it's only week one!!!
I'm praying for a better day tomorrow- and I'm sure that Dan is!!!