January Pale Blues

I thought I'd better sit right down and write myself a letter...and make believe it came from you...tum te tum....No, actually I didn't. I was shamed. My dear friend and partner in madness - The wondrous Claire - who writes a blog - and is one of my all-time favourite peeps...has awarded my blog the Leibster Blog award. Regular readers may remember that another dear pal - Ali - awarded it to me last year. It's an award for a blog that is loved (apparently). Anyway - I am very honoured to have been awarded such a thing. It makes it all worthwhile.

I must admit to having been a bit un-communicative of late. I haven't written...I haven't phoned (funnily enough - our Dan has been vexed texting me to say exactly the same thing)..and even my usually sharp and witty tweets have become softened round the edges - and well..I'll say it..a tad DULL.

That's the thing about January though isn't it? It's shit really. Christmas has been and gone - and left behind in its wake a mountain of debt that makes the Eiger look like a pimple on a teenager's bum. The nights are long..the days are cold and most of us are afflicted with a melancholy that knows no bounds. Another year has gone by - and we're still stuck in a shit-hole of a life - another 12 months - another 52 weeks wasted - as we didn't get a single step nearer to our dreams.

I did get nearer to my dreams - I am now doing what I love - but perhaps when sending my dream into the ether I wasn't specific enough. Yes I wanted to teach scuba diving...which I'm doing...but what I actually wanted (but forgot to mention) was that I'd like to do that somewhere tropical - The Maldives? The Seychelles? ...somewhere...but not in a flooded gravel pit in friggin' Peterborough!

I also wished for more male attention - but yet again - lacked specifics. Sadly this has manifested itself in a cute friendship with a young man who has learning difficulties - who has now declared his undying love for me via Facebook - after I spent most of last weekend showing the utmost patience and understanding whilst teaching him to dive in a drysuit. He has now decided - in a very lovely but oh so simple way - that he loves me. The trouble is - he's 19 - and works on a lathe at Remploy. He's truly sweet - but he's not going to be my next MR.

My dear Dan is going off on an adventure soon - trekking across the Sahara..to raise funds for much needed water supplies. Brave Girl she is. I am very proud. To be her Mum. But in my January Blue Phase...I am thinking that I don't deserve such a shiny star as her in my life. I have never done anything to warrant such a mega chic.

Oh yes - I'm learning French too. Oh la la. Why? I have no clue..perhaps because I'm bored in the long evenings. Perhaps because my dream man - when he eventually appears - will be french - and I should be prepared. Who knows? Not me. Je ne sais quoi.

Anyway - only a few more days of January left now - and then we can look forward to Feb 14th. Which will be as much as a non-event this year as it was last.

Meanwhile...I'll just sit here and wait for spring. And for Godot.