I know that in time she'll recover - because we all do - and I know it's all part of the journey - it all needs to be embraced and learned from and ...in the end...she'll be better because of this lesson.
I wish I could have transferred one ounce of the respect that I feel for her into her head - and I wish I could make her understand what a worthwhile and fabulous person she is.
Upon analysis of the relationship (I told you it was a long chat)...we discovered that the third party wasn't who she thought they were...behaved in unacceptable ways from the beginning of the relationship....to cut it short...wasn't who she though they were...at all! But - because we are all driven from a need to find love and be accepted - she had ignored and pushed aside the signs. We have all done this...some of us...many, many times. She was seduced by the passion (her own passion) for being loved by somebody else. That is what becomes addictive...it's not necessarily about the other person at all.
I urged her to take some time and look at herself and celebrate who she is. She is absolutely worth celebrating (as we all are).
Relationships are complicated...full of expectations...inner needs of the child that we all are wanting to be satisfied....scars from the past needing to be healed. No wonder it's hard!
She's an amazing woman - and deserves only the very best in her life. The third person wasn't really the best. He wasn't even alright for 'just now'. She, however - is the best...and I hope she finds the best inside herself - learns to love that 'best' person like all her friends do...learns to look in the mirror and see 'the very best' looking back at her.