Last weekend Dan went to Sheffield, and while she was there visited Nottingham University, Equine sciences department. She wants to study Equine sports rehabilitation - so she can prevent race horses and event horses being "got rid of" when they are no longer useful. They can easily be re-trained for riding or pleasure horses when their primary job is done, and this is what she would like to do. Very admirable.
It got me thinking though that we are nearly at the end of a long journey - that is me being the primary figure in her life. When she goes away in September I will just become the woman that she visits (and brings her laundry home to) every third weekend. The one that she no longer tells everything to - I will so miss our little chats that we have in the car on the school run each day. This year, because we have moved down south, we have been together more than before because she didn't know anybody else and neither did I...also we have the horses together and so spend about 3 hours at the stables together every night.
For seventeen years she has been my primary focus...her needs and wants have taken priority over everything else...even down to the food I buy....because I have to buy the things that she likes to eat - otherwise she would starve!!!!
Half of me is looking forward to this change as I will have more free time and more money (!)and most change is an opportunity for improvement. It will be great for her to move away from home and make new friends, learn new things and become independant...my only worry is that I may suffer from "Empty nest syndrome" and turn into one of those barking mad 40 plus year old women...who go a bit menopausally loopy because their primary focus has been removed.
I can see me driving to Nottingham twice a week to take her baked pies, and change her bedding. Someone has to make sure she doesn't live on "Pot Noodles".
I'm so proud of her as she is very bright, hardworking, determined, funny, kind and gentle....oh my goodness....I'd better start looking for a University within a 5 mile radius so she can some home every night.
I suppose I could always take up "Spanish for Beginners" at night school, or "Macrame for the hormonally challenged"