Monday 21 September 2009


When I report to the Scuba school tomorrow I have to take 4 passport photographs. I think it's so that they can issue your Padi ID card (but perhaps it's so they can compare you to the ugly ones on 'Britain's most wanted'!).

Anyway, I popped into Banbury (throbbing metropolis) to our local branch of Jessops to get the job done. The girl who served me was about four and a half years old - so probably has no empathy with middle aged woman wanting the photographer to 'get her good side'.

It's all digital these days - so they can 'ave another go if you're not 'appy with the results. Despite having spent ages in the bathroom and applying much Clinique and Bobby Brown...I wasn't 'appy with the results. Let's face it - it's taken me 46 years to get all these lines and wrinkles - twenty minutes and a hundred quid's worth of face products isn't going to make much difference!!

Now it's not even as if it's my passport or driving license or anything that may ever be seen - (apart from by some bronzed diving Adonis in some overseas dive resort)- so it shouldn't really matter how the pictures turn out - but because I'm feeling my age and therefore rather over-sensitive - it did....big time!

The poor shop assistant showed remarkable patience - especially when we got to attempt number 7 and I had started to enquire about nearby plastic surgeons.

Eventually I had six little pictures that I'm still not that enamoured with - but in a good light with a following wind I could pass for about 55.

What makes it even worse is that Posselq looks about ten years younger than he actually is...mind you - he's had a relatively easy life (until he met me) - so we'll take another look at him in about 2 years time and see how he's doing - shall we?

I bloody hate the fact that I am getting older - if I have to age (which - unless I can get a gig with Dr Who and become some kind of 'Time-Lord'- I can only assume is inevitable) I would really like to do it disgracefully.

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